Truth laid bear

the Dawn Science.com section has always been an old favorite of mine. from reading the comic strip to the nifty little bits of info that you keep finding in it. my objective in life in Philips used to be to get one of the nifty new gadgets featured on the last page. life was good.

i miss simplicity sometimes. its become a victim of verbosity and procrastination. i always thought "lack of time" led to simplification. thats apprently not true. i also thought the higher you went in the corporate ladder the detail orientation was supposed to be laid to rest and the strategic hat was supposed to be plonked on. Thats also apparently not true. in fact in 9 cases out of ten most people are expected to switch between both roles frequently and without displaying any issues :)

now thats corporate utopia.. atleast from a higher management perspective :)

somehow sometimes i keep thinking back to "The Water Babies" and how the kids got turned into a field of cabbages popping everywhere because their minds got overloaded with school work and no play... IS SOMEONE LISTENING OUT THERE??!!

I think i'm going to gift copies of that book to everyone in the workplace with highlighted paragraphs for extra emphasis :)

Just read on msn gossip that brad gave angelina a ring.. at some point in time im sure i would have said "mera number kab aye ga".. but thankfully im over that phase now.. he's started looking old.. you know what i mean.. Angelina on the other hand is a whole different ball game.. by the paparrazzi estimation this tryst should last all of 5 years before running into a road block. i think they have a fair chance of making it.. provided they are understanding and forgiving.. which was probably not the case with Jen.

brrrr... its scary.. these western relationships..

Lahore is coooold these days. Each morning its a struggle to pull myself out of bed and now i've taken to the traditional method of flipping a coin to see whether or not i need to shower.. i usually win :)
The good thing is that there arent any BO issues.. i have all the sympathy in the world for poeple with those... winters must be mondo tough for them.. yikes..

just found another great site.. for all you people who like reading classic amazing beautiful books that makes childhood worth living go to Page by Page Books.com. Thats where i found water babies by charles kingley and now also Anne of Green Gables by LM Montgomery..

i still remember this one. i read the first chapter or the day she goes to school and gilbert calls her carrots.. in a book my nana bought me. Memorable School Stories Collection. My nana bought me all the loveliest books. he knew i loved reading. he bought me the entire Saint Clare series (enid blyton) in one go in Peshawar. He bought me the Mallory towers series. He bought me Enid Blytons numerous other titles from Ferozsons in Lahore (we were posted there at the time). I miss him. i still remember him coming home from work everyday to 2B Link Avenue in Karachi and saying "paani lao" and i used to run and get it. Then he used to turn on the AC full blast and sleep :) it used to be so nice and cold.. the soft drone of the air conditioner, curtains pulled, nana sleeping and me making tents out of nanis sheets and pretending i was in an alaskan winter. Thats what made my childhood the beautiful place that it was. By far the most peaceful times in my memory.. even now as i think of it, a tranquility steals over my entire soul. i love all my grandparents..

somehow sleep isnt as peaceful as those afternoon naps anymore.. you mind keeps racing at a 1000 miles an hour with a zillion different deliverables, bills, and responsibilities racing through it... no wonder every one keeps lamenting the loss of their childhoods..

sigh... anyway life is other wise ok.. new horizons to explore.. new things to learn. Allah Mian keeps life interesting.. Inshallah he shall keep me and my loved ones safe from all harm and keep all negativity and evil as far away from us as possible.. inshallah..

cheerios dudes n dudettes

Princess of the GemWorld

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I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004 to inifinity

the long & short of it all..

its at the most innocuous times in your life that you realize that life is a constant series of highs n lows... like the dunes of the desert.

In retrospect, the desert is the best metaphor for the human life span that i have ever come across. Just saw the end of "The flight of the Phoenix" on cable with Dennis Quaid. one minute the dunes have a certain shape and rhythm.. the next theres a storm that blows your entire world apart and changes the very face of the terrain you sought to call your own. its no better or worse. just mindblowingly unfamiliar. and thats what happens in life on a semi daily basis.

there are two types of people in this world. one the kind that obsesses on every mistake they ever made, and either get depressed and kill themselves or correct every single shortcoming they come across and attain the success that few even aspire to. Two are the kind that focus wholely and solely on forgetting all the mishaps and mistakes they ever made and try to be as happy as they can, ignoring their shortcomings and resign themselves to a life of average achievement and balance.

Neither is wrong. if you are a type A or a Type B personality, youre not wrong either way. Its just who you are. But while the Type As in this world may be responsible for propelling the world forward into the next century, they are probably also responsible for disbalanced households, traumatized childhoods & psychosomatic stress & diahrea for everyone around them.

Type B personalities can be credited with making the world go round on a daily basis without too many accelerations in between. they can be held responsible for repeating mistakes, not having too much vision, being too focused on today and not enough on tomorrow, but they'll be happier people because they focus on the day at hand and try to make it as rich as possible.

You can be either and believe you lived a good life. so its no biggie.. but when the dunes change, they change for everyone. so one fine day both types wake up and its like woah.. whered my dune go.. i HATE that feeling..

it means you have to remap your entire life.. decide what stays and what goes as youre forced to go through your closets in a spring cleaning session and get rid of everything that could possibly slow you down as you embark on this new chapter in your desert safari.

Now since all of us have that vision of the ideal existence entrenched in our minds, anything that remotely poses a deviation can send our puny little minds into cyclonic frenzy.. like someone took a finger and swirled it around in your head.. that phrase is borrowed from a movie or tv show that i own. i happen to like it alot.. the line not the sensation.

And these days it happens alot. i dont know the answer... my philosophy of life revolves around the find your happiness everyday and leave the rest to Allah mian.. but others can make you feel really stupid for not having the vision or drive to plan out every element of your future existance.. thats where the finger swirling in head phrase comes into play.

Its also got something to do with aging. my teeth hurt, my head hurts, my gums hurt, sometimes my knees hurt.. i think im old and coming apart rapidly at the seams.. so far the way i was looking at life was.. cool another 30 years and i'll be dead..

but in certain moments it turns to what happens if i start doing something different and suddenly being dead at 60 becomes such a far away reality because you have to live through the consequences of the decision you are making today for the next 32 years.

Am i wrong? to be happy in the moment.. to not be planning.. to not giving overdue importance to where my next salary will come from or who will backstab me next.. are those people better off who dont trust anyone and watch their backs all the time and do whatever the hell it takes to get ahead in the workplace and the world.. are they happier.. are their families better taken care off.. is their life better lived than mine..

i dont want to live a life of stress.. i dont want to wake up everyday and feel like crawling back into my blankets.. i want to rise and shine and walk out into a garden take a beautiful deep breath and embrace the day.. hopefully the sun will quickly be covered with clouds.. because i prefer cloudy days vs sunny ones which give me headaches.. and the way i see it, its not too much to ask.

so heres where i make an executive decision. Good luck to all those who think through everything they do down to the last letter... as for me im going to go on bumbling through my life with a silly smile on my face til i croak..

May Allah mian guide my every step and keep me and my loved ones safe and blessed..

Princess of the GemWorld


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I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004 to inifinity

Happy New Year

Good morning folks.. and a happy new year to you all..

its been a nice beginning.. i had a paratha and chicken qeema & a hot cup of tea... the sunlight is dripping into the lounge.. warmth pervades my being.. sounds of domesticity resound around me.. Red Eye plays in the back ground... New years was a bit like xmas.. there were ipods in the house :)

maybe Gods planning to bless us further..

I'm no angel.. i wish i had a halo and wings.. but im pretty sure i cant fly and my halos pretty tarnished if i ever had one..

I know deep down inside that im a good person.. but knowing something vaguely vs. with conviction is different. acually im pretty convinced im a good person. its just i sometimes focus heavily on just saving myself from being hurt by klling emotions within me.. the numb factor. its effective. it works.

but generally im a good person. i mean im not evil. i dont try to hurt people. i try not to damage, defame, demotivate.. but that doesnt stop others from doing that.. that pisses me off. my favorite mode of existence in the world is "anonymous".

i guess we all want that at some time or another. some more than most.
i have that to a large extent in lahore.. atleast i think i do. i dont know anyone.. no one knows me.. the people i do know i see on a daily basis. they arent bad. generally nice people. i dont put too much though behind my day to day living. it happens on auto pilot. even the weekly flights back & forth happens on auto pilot. its funny that way..

skys all golden with the midday sun.. streaks of gold spilling into the tv lounge.. dull gold filling the air around me. stationary fan signalling the winter months... dull throbbing in my head.. think i need more tea.. and maybe more food.. i cant stop thinking about food.. its like i keep craving new taste although my tummy tells me its not hungry in the least.. lol :) kya karein.. control nahin hota..

i want the basics in life.. i want to take care of my parents and my family. i want to contribute to the running of the household both in terms of effort and materially.. i want to live a full life.. and have no stress or negativity.. and with that statement i have passed into the realms of illusion and the utopia everyone dreams of. :)

thats all i want. food. money for the credit card bills. general sense of well being and happiness.. umm.. also my internet connection and a computer.. and well my digital camera, mobile phone, maybe an mp3 player and an FM Radio.. damn i forgot the TV (must have channel E) and well a DVD player isnt a bad thing to have..

sighhhh... i think i can be happy with the basics of life listed above..

suddenly Red Eye has gotten really interesting.. i mean Rachel McAdams kicks ass man.. :)

i come back to reality now.. my inner cravings want a cup of tea and a sandwich..

Sometimes reality aint bad :) especially since theres food involved...

before signing off i want to thank Allah Mian for being one wise being.. he has never given me more than i can handle. he's always given me just enough.. just enough happiness.. just enough electronics (yeah yeah i'll get over it when i want to).. maybe just a tad bit more edibles than my fair share.. just enough success.. just enough friends.. just enough of everything.. never more than just enough.. and thats just enough.. :)

i need to learn to thank him a hell of a lot more than just enough though cause right now i dont think i even qualify on the just enough bit.. had a few conversations with some people in my life.. one of them was regarding compromises - how theyre easy to make once you're secure in yourself.. and one was regarding finding someone special and defending your right to choose.. both were enlightening.. both made me realize that there are so many facets of life that we never think about because we never have to face them.. but sometimes through the people we care about.. we end up catching a glimpse of life that was heretofore unknown to us.. and it helps shape us as human beings.. i guess we should take time to thank the people around us.. because essentially they end up being our teachers. directly or indirectly..

thank you.. to all of you.. and to God and the Universe..

Car pe diem... Sieze the Day... (From the Movie "Dead Poets Society", also the source of "Oh Captain, my Captain" - one of the best damn movies of the last century and possibly this one as well.. )

Princess of the GemWorld

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I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004 to inifinity