somedays the fuzziness just gets to you....

Hey all... sitting here... gulping down 500ml's of liquid at a time.. my brain feels like its going to get off the train at the "i need a break" station and refuse to climb back onto the Life express.. it could be a nice break..

AHHHHH... i havent had my morning dose of caffiene... excuse me... *bring bring... (hello.. eik chai la dein please... thank you.. :)...sighhhh... now i will wait til i get my lifes blood pumping through my veins..
*waiting patiently for 1st shot of caffiene to course through system..
*cup arrives... taking first life giving sip... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... sigh...
*mindless bliss.. silly smile slowly spreading across face... eyes drooping in sheer pleasure...
God bless the English....

I mean like wow... most of the time i just forget i have an addiction. lol... i love saying that... it sounds so... decadent! But seriously... Its a legacy from my Philips days where feroz(our man Friday :) used to keep up a steady supply of tea mugs circulating in office all day without respite.. i actually hit a consumption level of upto 7 to 10 cups of sugarless tea in my peak consumption period.. periodically i used to hit the brakes and convert to green tea... but that only used to last as long as there was lemon in da house.. (meaning office).. coffee at work was truely decadence.. besidz which i cant have coffee without sugar.. (unless its a Starbucks Caramel Machiato :).. so i never got into that evil .. (too bad for Nestle.. but theyve got me cornered with the water so far)..

Quite frankly even in my hey days of peak consumption i never realized how deep the desire for tea was becoming entrenched in my system.... till the 1st day of Ramzan.. when as per my Ramzan schedule, i stumbled out of bed when my dad called the troops to the table.. bleary eyed... intoxicated with sleep... stuffed my face with my eyes tighly shut against the glare of the dining room chandelier.. and immediately within 5 minutes stumbled back up the stairs to catch as much precious shut eye as humanely possible before being woken up again..

In the whole "I categorically refuse to open my eyes and acknowledge that i am awake" thing, i forgot to have my morning cup of tea.. quite frankly you cant have the "Morning" cup till your brain registers that its morning, you know what i mean... so i get to work and slowly, the drum beat starts building up in my head.. now i KNOW im not hungry... coz i usually know when im hungry (most people would tell you i'm ALWAYS hungry.. but they lie.. they're lying finks.. thats what they are)... so when by midday i was pretty much screaming with the unbearable lightness of being..sorry.. i meant getting all lightheaded with deprivation and craving... for something i couldnt quite put my finger on... and thats when it hit me.. Holy God in Heaven... I am a certifiable Tea Junky... heheh.. funnily enough i was so happy to have finally done something as cool as acquiring an addiction, i spent the rest of the day announcing it to the rest of the world.... i was young and very very silly..

Now me... im pretty much a generic tea enthusiast.. i didnt even notice when the office tea trolley started serving up Tapal instead of Lipton.. except that we stopped getting those free plastic cups.. and free internet hours...

but that was that... didnt really notice.. most people are shocked when they think of sugarless tea.. but seriously, plunk in 2 teaspoons of Nestle Everyday and you cant tell the difference.. which may conversely mean that Everyday may contains some sweetner which makes everything taste slightly sweet and hence defeats the entire objective of sugarless tea.. an objective most people dont get anyway..

i just dont like sugar very much unless its the Coffee Tea & Company Strawberry Shortcake variety.. in which case.. bring it on in droves people :) i dont really get a high from chocolate and ice cream doesnt excite me very much either... now you find me some piping hot aaloo pakoras from the Siemens Chowrangi ki phatak wali crossing.. and then we can talk :) ... BEST aaloo pakoras that side of the tracks :) i miss the old bearded gentleman who used to stand there every day from 9am till 11am making them.. he made samosas too but the aaloo pakoras were oof.. too good!

i havent found those in lahore.. although we have this place called Chatkharey .. :) yeah yeah ... i know these Lahoris are chaapus.. and they have huge aaloo pakoras.. not the same thing..

I havent explored the Dhabba culture as yet... i did however make an exodus to revisit my childhood and go and explore all the places my dad used to take us too when we lived here 18 years ago.. The Lahore Museum.. Jahangirs Maqbara... Noor Jehan's Maqbara.. the minar-e-pakistan... took an amazing shot of that .. its quite pretty at night... so rediscovering my childhood was a fun treat...

Still trying to find more interesting bits about the city ... but you know how it is.. there isnt any ocean.. no sunset on the beach.. no sand to dig your toes into.. i miss the peaceful rhythm of the sea.. the continuity and certainty of the waves striking the shore.. of the sense of freedom when you strike out across the waves.. and its kinda like ure leaving the country on a ship without having to go through immigration.. which is cool.

Which is also why i love airports.. i love airports.. especially the international terminal... it embodies that sense of adventure i crave constantly.. the prospect of someplace new.. someplace unseen.. unexperienced.. open to exploration.. new sights.. sounds.. aromas.. food... wow...
:) i truly went round circle there didnt i... but seriously love airports.. always have.. its my favorite place for an outing.. just to sit there and watch the planes fly off.. imagine where theyre going... imagine being on board one day :) mashallah... we're lucky those of us who get to see the world beyond our immediate surroundings.. its an amazing experience.. it blows away any semblence of boundaries on your thoughts and actions... it puts your perceptions of the world in perspective when you think beyond your little corner of the world and realize just how small, innocuous and insignificant you truly are.. and it frees you from all constraints in thought and action when you realize that you define your path, not the world.. because truly the world doesnt have time to be bothered about you.. you realize all of this when you leave the confines of our glorious state and look beyond where your existance is meaningless...

i love that state of anonymity.. i love being unnoticed in strange lands.. stumbling about with no sense of direction.. (not that i have any on home ground either..) .. but each step is a discovery.. and its thrilling.. absolutely..

i tread carefully
the path of my dreams
in the remnants of silence
i hear the screams
of dreams that lay broken
and defeated and hurt
of hearts that were bleeding
and minds that were numb
but through the noise
of depression and grief
i found resilience
and joy and relief
in dreams that grew stronger
and flourished each day
and remembered that some dreams
are meant to die away...
- * may 21st 2004-
i guess we move on.. its being left behind thats harder.. new places forge an adventurous spirit.. familiarity of surroundings breeds depression..
thats an army brats philosophy ... i guess somethings just stick to you..
but too much of anything is irritating... and at the end of the day all i wanted was... *eliza doolittle style...

All i want is a room somewhere
far away from the cold night air
with one enormous chair ... ooo woooooouldnt it be lovely..
lots of chocolates(chips) for me to eat
lots of coal makin lots of heat
warm face warm hands warm feet
ohhh woooooouldnt it be lovely
sooo lovely sitting absolutely still
i wouldnt budge till spring
crept over my windowsill
someones head resting on my knee
warm n tender as he can be.. who'd take good care of me..
ohh wouuuuldnt it.. be.. lovely... -* My Fair Lady

:) enough rambling for the day :)
gnite me lovelies..

Princess of the GemWorld
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I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

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