i thought life was perfect

but it never is really.. theres always a dose of reality sneaking about round a corner.. and it hits you as hard as falling 165ft and striking the placid surface of a lake at breakneck speed.

the day is very very nice.. its soft and gray with a cloud cover and a soft drizzle and the last of the winter chill waiting to bid us adieu..

i can hear birds outside inspite of my permanently clogged ears. Im worried about my ears. I feel i shall be saying the same statement when i'm 50 with a hearing capacity not worth mentioning. As it is im difficult to converse with. its an experience that requires alot of patience.

I have a headache. somehow i feel ... fat. no wise ass quips now. its a serious issue. i feel very... shall we say... unfit. theres a polite word for you. And somehow i cant be pushed to do much about it. dammit. sigh. ugh.

I think i miss the ocean. Smelly as it is. i Miss it. i hate the way the sand creeps into your air, the way the sea breeze whips your locks around till they look like a tangled broom. i really dont have much to say about the world at large right now.

I am idealistic. I always have been. I view the world through the lenses of illusion, always hoping against hope that perfection as i would perceive it does exist in this world. Whether i am disappointed or not is not the question. What matters is that i believed in the first place.

I dont think ambition is necessarily a good thing. I believe it holds people back from being happy in the moment. They start living for the future, for how rosy it shall be someday and in the process make every today a bleak unfulfilled reality. Its sad.

I think i'm a contradiction in terms. I can plan out things as dumb as the color of my room 5 years into the future but nothing that actually matters. Because that scares me. I need tea and cookies. I need to mindlessly munch on my soggy solitude. sighhhhh....

ahhhh... sigh ... sweet bliss... rush of mini endorphins... *blank smile on face... suddenly life seems good again...

uh oh.. i think i'm addicted to carbohydrates and caffiene... heheh..

the sun just came out. Its falling softly againt the blinds in my cell block window :) It really looks like one of those cell block windows. lol.. its like 2ft in height and 4 ft in width.. they mustve jailed something here before me :)..

i dont like the sun somehow.. i dunno... i like me though... i think.. sometimes when i dont know me too well.. i like me.. then i remember me the way i am.. its a rude awakening.. sigh sigh...


Every now and then
We find a special friend
who never lets us down...

Who understands it all
reaches out each time we fall
you're the best friend i have found...

I know you can't stay
a part of you will never ever go away
your heart will stay.....

I'll make a wish for you,
and hope it will come true,
if life will just be kind,
to such a gentle mind,
if you lose your way,
think back on yesturday
remember me this way,
remember me this way.

I don't need eyes to see
the love you bring to me,
no matter where I go
and I know that you'll be there
forever-more a part of me and everywhere
I'll always care.....

I'll make a wish for you
and hope it will come true,
if life will just be kind,
to such a gentle mind,
and if you lose your way
think back on yesturday
remember me this way,
remember me this way.

and I'll be right behind your shoulder,watching you
I'll be standing by your side, all you do
and I won't ever leave
as long as you believe,
you just believe....

I'll make a wish for you
and hope it will come true
if life will just be kind
to such a gentle mind
and if you lose your way
think back on yesturday
remember me this way
remember me this way.
o.....
this way.(Remember Me This Way, Jordan McNight)

Theres this relatively new band.. i think theyve been around for a year now.. and i really liked this song too..

"Perfect"

Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect (Perfect, Simple Plan)

take care all
Princess of the GemWorld

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I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004