Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Reality strikes once more....

Life is funny... i realize that i've lost all semblance of the honesty of expression i used to display in the past. atleast im honest enough to admit that..

life is funny... there are many things that have happened in the past year and a half that have taken my breath away and made me thank the Lord Almighty for blessing us so many times over.. i feel blessed to the very core of my being..

whether its for him lowering the airline fares making my commuting lighter on the wallet, whether its him introducing new means of communications, whether its him blessing us with understanding love and support.. ive been blessed over and over again.. mashallah..

And sitting here right now over the rooftops of another coastal city.. in a slightly sterile yet comfortable hotel room, i realize that i'm not doing him or myself justice by holding back whatever honesty i have within me.. as usual its not in my control if you judge me.. it doesnt matter if you agree with me.. all that matters is that i had my say.. :)

the Lord works in mysterious ways.. ive had so many examples of his bounty that i am humbled beyond words.. i wont explain the ways and means that he has enlightened me with.. even with all my faith i am still wary of human nature and nazar lagaofication.. Allah mian humain apney hifz o aman mein rakhay..

But for all of you out there who feel even slightly abandoned or miffed with the big guy.. trust me... its just a matter of time before he lets you know the infinite ways in which you are already blessed.. you just have to open your eyes and take a look around.

There have been moments when i have doubted my self.. my abilities to perform my tasks in the different arenas of life... as a human being.. there have been moments when i have been low.. there have been moments where i have snuck into bathrooms and cried my eyes out and come out feeling much lighter.. but at the end of the day when i sit down to count my blessings i end up losing count.. MashAllah..

I challenge any of you to do the same and trust me when you start you'll realize the truth of what i'm talking about.

I'm at another juncture in my life where ive reached a whole new state of mind. its called peaceful contentment. sometimes nothing fazes me out... i think i would attribute this to the positive influence of my colleague next door.. i would count him as a blessing too.. its Gods way of telling me that people can be calm cool & collected and still manage to get all their work done so i should follow suit..

i still dont put any stock in what the world has to say about anything. Its still my life and will be lived according to Gods will and whatever i decide to do with it. i still have a very firm shield against heresay and random barbs shot out from the world at random. I neither encourage this nor participate in it.

And i am still.. for all its worth... happy within the deepest recesses of my soul.. because deep inside i am secure in the knowledge that all that matters is between me and my God.. and no one elses judgements thoughts whims or maliciousness has the power to alter the course of my life as charted out by the Almighty... and with that belief i am forever free..

I've said it before and i'll say it this once again.. you make yourself whatever you want to be. there are no have-to's in life.. only what we convince ourselves we need to do in order to be good in the eyes of the world. The world will always look at its gain first and you last. only you can guide your destiny.. only you can chart your path and make sure it means something.. and sometimes it doesnt have to mean anything.. just as long as you live happy and die happy and havent hurt anyone in between those two points. thats a good life lived..

Micheal jackson may be a funny man.. but in the "Man in the mirror" he captured what so many of us refuse to acknowledge every morning we wake up..

im looking at the man in the mirror
i'm asking him to make a change
cause no message could have been any clearer
if you want to make the world
a better place
take a look at yourself
and make a.... change..


take care kids.. and today.. do something honest..

Princess of the GemWorld

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I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

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