Looking for inspiration...

I was looking around my desk which wont be my desk soon and looking for inspiration.. or a topic of conversation.. because i felt like conversing.. i just didnt know what about... scanned the desk area and several things whizzed by.. The Dilbert Principle... my Franklin Covey Planner... my empty Pepsi bottle filled with water... my SSGC calendar.. and a happy new year card i just received at the start of Moharram from the Khalikdina Hall Library Association...

I watched the last episode of for love or money on star world this morning where the girl chooses the million bucks... smart girl.. then she gives it all up for the chance to find a man she loves and $2 mil.. wayyy smart girl.. so i went online .. as i am prone to doing and found out her fate... damn man .. the girl totally lucked out.. not only did the guy she chose give up the $1 million to be with her.. she then got the $1 mil from the first show as well as half of the $2 mil from the second because she split it between her and her chosen one... (reminds one of buffy chosen one an all :)

So like ... damn! .. Good luck to them both :)

My eyes are getting a bit fuzzy with too much computer staring.. its a strain drain.. and im cold.. they've started running all the AC's and its cold. brrrr... its hot outside and cold inside... like God forgot to put medium in my daily plan... and then people complain i'm an extremist... its not my fault.. the big guy upstairs left out medium on my blueprint...

I recently went through a novel yet massively irritating experience.. ever felt like a vegetable being dissected layer by layer so it can be determined whether or not you meet certain specs? Well.. it was a first for me.. and it wasnt an experience i'm planning to repeat. EVER!

Ok im off.. dont feel like talking too much...

take care all

Princess of the GemWorld

*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004

All good things... must come to an end..

That was the title of the 2 part series finale of Dawsons Creek towards which i expressed my whole hearted dissatisfaction with the culmination. i dont know whats right & whats wrong.
Im just floating through life right now with no responsibilities or cares. Cares refers to more than just regular cares. It also refers to there's nothing holding me back from my dreams and if i want to live them any which way i please, i wouldnt be breaking any promises if i went ahead and pursued them as i saw fit.

Its a great place to be. I can go quit my job and sit at home and my parents would support me. It would be a mentally draining experience :) but its an option. I could also decide i want to study further, drop everything and go off to wherever i may please and start doing that. Inshallah i'll be resourceful enough to make it on my own. Or i could shift jobs .. to anywhere in the world coz i would like that very much. Thats like a paid vacation.. thats why i wanted to be a pilot in an airlines.

And i dont know where i'll be next. And amazingly that excites me rather than scares me. People try to scare me. People always try to be nice by informing you of all the pitfalls of life because they consider it their communal duty. But I have Faith.

Im no angel. I try to be good. But i have wandered off the path of the Almighty of my own free will on numerous occassions. Those who love me may forgive me. Those who dont may condemn me. My God will definitely give me atleast one tour of duty through hell. Thats a certainty i wont even think of avoiding. My sins are more from the physical reality rather than the spiritual realm. Many would insist both are interconnected. But the way i see it, i've seen black souls without a single shred of physical sin attached to them. And i've seen the worst of lives with such pure souls that its baffling. Only Allah in his wondrous comprehension can decipher who thinks what and how he will judge them.

Judgement is his and no one else's. Thats a concept thats alien to human society :) one of my pet peeves.

But let's get back to me. hmm... not to advertise but i was a pretty damn criminal minded child. If there was a way to do something remotely morally corrupt i would think of it.. even if i wouldnt implement. Got into my share of scrapes that way too. Love short cuts i think. hmm.. so in the course of life, wynona ryder type shop lifting (highly infrequent) was part and parcel. My love for books kinda pushed the lifting in direction of libraries... :> The sins of the tongue have always caught one unawares.. these happen wherever one decides to bestow trust on someone in the hope that news doesnt actually pass from mouth to mouth and instead remains contained in the realms of trust once you've decided to bestow it.

That only happens in one case. Best friend. No where else. Now your best friends can be multitudinal. They can be your cousins, your mom, or in actuality your best friends :) i have best friends. A limited number of 'em. Mashallah... its the grace of Allah that has blessed me.. i know amazing people. People who literally single handedly sometimes rejuvenate my faith in the human race when all seems lost and utterly ridiculous. People who show me who i am... and try to make me better and safer... here's to my people (raising a beer bottle shaped mountain dew..) cheers!

To my bestest... as sung quite eloquently by Celine Dion...
For all the times you stood by me.. For all the truth you made me see...
For all the joy your brought to my life.. for all the wrongs you made right...
For every dream you made come true... for all the love i found in you...
I'll be 4ever thankful..
You're the one that held me up... never let me fall..
You're the ones who saw me through.. through it all...
You guyz make my life worth living... my fortresses of solitude... my sounding boards... my partners in crime and life... This is for each one of you...

To my mirror of truth.. my shelter in the storm... my anchor.. my strength.. Thank you for your love, for your faith, for your acknowledgement of my failings and accepting me inspite of them for who i am. For showing me love incomparable.. For flowers that have brightened my special days... for seeing beauty within me.. for letting me feel beautiful in the face of my constant whining about being fat and ugly and hair going white and eyes getting wrinkled and feet starting to hurt... for allowing me the security that no matter what happens, where i go... when i get there, there will always be someone who would take care of me regardless and find me beautiful.. thank you for smiling at my eccentricities and tolerating my mood swings. For putting me in my place and making me realize my mistakes. For helping me be a better person. For doing things that benefitted no one but me.. for being happy simply because i was. For buying me yummy stuff. For getting presents for no reason. For always putting me first in nearly every thought or action..

I have known love and it has given me wings to fly, courage to live and zest to savor every breath i take...

Your homes are my havens no matter where in the world you may be now or later. You are my fortress of solitude.. my companion in shared silence... you are my partner in crime and co-owner of all my castles in the sky.. you are the strains of the sweetest song i've ever heard and i'll hum it in my heart for eternity.. I love you the way you are.. no changes required... ever!

For reaching out to me when i withdraw from the world. For protecting me from evil no matter what form it took... (bitch or devil:) for thinking the same thing at the same time and taking the words outta my mouth... for getting hyper with me.. for allowing the flavor of life to burst forth and fill my living moments.. my wildest moments are yours.. you give me the courage to let go... i've felt safe with you everywhere in the world.. Its a double edged sword.. i hurt too sometimes... but then theres no discounting the good and the scale will always lean towards love..

For a decade of love... glorious love.. the greatest love.. because friendship is the truest form of love.. Thank you...

Thank God for you all :)
love

Princess of the GemWorld

*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004

Good morning vietnam....

I like robin williams... hes funny... sometimes in a deep reflective kind of way.. kinda like my life... im funny in as referred to in my earlier blog in a self-deprecating kind of way.

i was slightly ... no massively ... pissed yesterday. you dont even want to know why... be thankful im not telling you...

Anyway... still have residual bile rising in my throat.

Whateveh....

But im happy now... the keywords.. umm... Cyprus Blue ;) lol... kinda giddy..

Ok . it doesnt seem like i have anything productive to say. so im going for lunch.

Princess of the GemWorld


*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004

COnnecting the dots...

Just heard the phrase being used in the current episode of Ed on style..

I am NOT IMPERFECT!. I am NOT FLAWED. There is NOTHING WRONG WITH ME. contrary to what everyone else i know may think or say.

I WILL NOT BE JUDGED ON THE MERITS OF ACCEPTABILITY. I AM ACCEPTABLE... to those i want to be acceptable to.

This is me. If you dont like it, GO SUCK AN EGG!!!!!... I dont give a damn.

Im gone.

Princess of the GemWorld

*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004

Accounts... blech!

Anyone who knows me well.. knows of my overly strong affinity for numbers... NOT!!! (Get it.. get it!?!)

I sure hope so.. or otherwise you're on your way to be being voted even more of a tubelight than i am... and trust me... i can give good ol' Philips a run for its money when it comes to that ... or so i've been told :)
Its just... well.. there are soo many thoughts whizzing through my head at any given point in time, its tough to keep track of silliness people throw at you... (yeah i know ;) GOOD save :)

Anyway... my precious Saturday.. one of the only two non-working days i have during the week was spent with my media agency's acounts rep in the PTV Accounts office.. while the two of held our heads in our hands and tried desperately to figure out what happened where and how.. in between we would pause to count the new white hair that sprouted from our heads thanks to the convovulated accounting practices we were faced with..
The PTV accounts department ppl were really nice and sweet.. I think they'd all been there for more than 25 years and nothing fazed them... a couple of million wrongly billed in some account was reversed and recharged without so much as raising an eyebrow.. they were supremely helpful and i was quite delighted...

Their office was so peaceful... i mean the work was continuous ... but it was done in peace... and quiet... i guess because everyone left there was relatively secure.. these gentleman literally know contract numbers and program names like they would know their kids names... It was such a beautifully peaceful feeling.. the high ceilinged room with one fan.. and it was still nice and cool... people quietly rushing in and out... but quietly :)... it was beautiful and surreal... the last time i felt that way was in my dads office in Dera Ismail Khan... he was the commadant of the CMP School at the time.. and his office was right across the street from my school... the entire DIKhan cantonement area was like a one hour walk with the river Indus running on the east end... and you could get the best damn samosas made by the Officers Mess... and it was ... safe.
There was a peace there that i kinda felt today...maybe its a government office thing... i dunno... my office is loud, rushed, always running around :)... a constant fight against chaos... today was so different... i felt like i was sleep walking but was supremely awake..

I think i would like visiting them again soon :)
Just watched the last Series Finale of Dawson's Creek. Now i feel old. When that show started back in 1997 it was a generation x classic... the biggest thing to hit Teen tv since Beverly Hills 90210... and now its all over.. within the past 3 weeks i've watched more series finales than i care to count. Thats another sign of time catching up with you ... when shows that started in your childhood suddenly come to an end.. and leave you there feeling like you lost a peice of your childhood along with them... Roswell, X files, Friends, Buffy, and now Dawsons Creek... I was truly left feeling a tad bit dissatisfied that Joey didnt end up with Dawson.. and instead chose Pacey.. i mean Pacey could've been with anyone.. he didnt really care.. but Dawson was like incomplete without Joey.. i mean they kept saying they were soul mates and then were ok when she chose Pacey instead. I didnt get it...
Actually in real life i wished Katie Holmes and Joshua Jackson would rediscover themselves and end up together like they started out in the first season on DC... but shes with Chris Klein and happy and apparently about to get married.. so hey hope shes happy... yeah yeah so i watch alot of E!... It must be weird for all these kids to suddenly have to say good bye.. it must be painful... its like graduation.. its like moving on... and its sad..
With your own blood you know you'll always make the time to meet up... but there isnt any guarantee with others... except best friends coz they are also family.. so when you leave family you cry less... but when you leave strangers you cry more because you know your chances of seeing them again are much less and its sad...

I need to sort out my story books... love em.. but must discard the ones that are not top notch re-readable... :) take care all

Princess of the GemWorld

*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004

So heres the deal...

Life moves on... times change... People forget you... and one day you call and a familiar voice refuses to recognize you for the first five seconds of the conversation... and maybe in hindsight you would think that you were making a mountain out of a molehill but when you remember the heartrending tears you shed when you were saying goodbye to all that was familiar.. all that was literally a second home because thats where and who you spend half you life with... those first five seconds are true pain...

In case you havent experienced this yet... this phenomenon is known as teething on the job... this is the part where your milk teeth are falling out and the new ones are coming out.. its also known as moving on from the first job you ever held.. and held for a good long time.. and grew to love the people you saw every day.. from the guy who made your tea and you could trust with your cash to deposit in the bank.. to the guyz in the sales room who could always be counted on to get pakoras on a cloudy day... to the guys in accounts who were mean and nice all at once.. to the people all around you... to the friendships you made.. to the weddings and the dinners and the office functions where everyone introduced you to their families and everyone told you how much they'd heard about you..
All the love and the respect... the trust and the confidence... oh God im going to cry again...
You learn to love the bumpy one hour transit to and from work everyday... you learn to appreciate the fact that you see parts of the city that you would never have seen had you not worked in this place... you learn to experience your city from the eyes of all the lovely people you work with every day and all the stories come together to give a complete picture of a world you only thought you knew..
You learn to be less afraid.. as you grow to be more familiar with the city you thought existed only by the sea...

You learn to fix things when they go wrong... to speak up for whats right... to give your point of view when it counts...
You learn so much...
Last year was a lot of goodbyes... alot of good people.. alot of good friends... too many good byes..
You never think its your turn... mostly because you never think you'll ever be good enough... or any other place will want you enough to be able to make you want to move... and the people.. the heart of gold people that you know deep in your heart you will never find anywhere else...

But thats only so true. You wont find the same people... but you will find people like them.. and they will be as nice as you are to them.. Life is a continuous path of evolution and change...
Allah mian makes it as easy and as difficult as you perceive it to be... As my friend my chota sales kid keeps saying "tension lenay ka nahin, denay ka hota hai" :) Thats the attitude... its rare that i've seen him not smile.. its rare that i've known anyone with as big a heart... the child spends every penny he earns every month and then charges up his illegally obtained credit card with money because random friends he's made need funds to tide them over... much as i scream at him to develop some common sense, i applaud his sense of generosity and total devil-may-care-and-God-will-provide attitude.. I'm going to miss him the most...

i'm going to go before i start bawling again...
I HATE goodbyes... i'd rather be dead... right this minute... life is for the living.. thats what i always say.. and i think i'd have no regrets if i had to turn in my living rights now and lie down to blissful (hopefully)sleep till judgement day... i hate the pain of goodbyes...

Au Revoir my friends... God willing we'll meet again

Princess of the GemWorld

*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004

The Birth of A Genius

Report on:

THE BIRTH OF A GENIUS

by

Fariha Shah

BBA 3

CONTENTS

Preface i

Acknowledgements ii

I Inc. 1

The Beginning 1

The Day After 1

The Initial Phases 2

The Infancy 2

The Childhood 2

ACADEMiC PROFiLE 2

Employment 5

The World As It Is 6

A thought for the future 6

Preface

T

his Pulitzer Prize Winning piece is based on documented fact. It has been thoroughly researched by the marvelous author and great pains have been taken to ensure the validity of the material and content. It highlights the transition of a genius, from the time of birth till today, when the brilliance within has burst forth and blinded the world with it's glory.

Acknowledgements

F

irst of all I would like to acknowledge my wonderful self, without whom this report would have been excruciatingly impossible. Thank you Fariha, for being such a greeeeeeeat individual, such an awesome personality, such a wonderful child, teenager and adult. For providing yourself the opportunity to share your wonderfulness and awesomeness with the ordinary mortals surrounding you. YOU ARE THE BEST!

I

 acknowledge the fact that my parents spent 19 ecstatic years with moi, the most amazing daughter on the planet. They are soooo lucky. I'm sure they acknowledge that. I would like to thank them for taking the risk of having me...but hey, it was such a sure shot deal. With me you couldn't help but win. Thanks anyway, Mom and Dad

W

hile we're at it, I would like to thank our lord, God, on behalf of all my friends, who still can't believe how lucky they are in having such an exalted personality, such as me, as a friend. If they object to this statement, they are just being modest. Shy bunch of friends I got.

A

nd a very special thanks to our computer applications teacher, Mr.Shahood Alam, for providing me with the rare opportunity of extolling my innumerable virtues for all and sundry. Thank you, sir.

I Inc.

A brief revelation

The Beginning

I

t all began all those years ago when Allah decided that life on earth was getting too boring and he needed to spice it up a bit for his mundane, boring creations. Thus determined, dear ol'God got to work and created one the most incredible examples of human intelligence, charm and magnificence….. That’s ME!

;Born a Virgoan, on the 15th of September '77, I descended to planet Earth with a lot of unreasonable expectations. First of all I wasn't too keen on being sent to a war tom nation in the first place. ...and then to top it all off, I had to be born a ...ugh! …FEMALE!!!

That really ticked me off. I mean really! Just because I dumped my broccoli on Gabriel once.. mind you just once. But Angels are real big exaggerators, besides always being on Gods good side...I didn't stand a chance after that.

Ah well... I will survive!

The Day After

I

t was amazing. It's true that the Lord Almighty is the most forgiving and the most merciful... besides having surveillance cameras all over the heavenly dining hall. He knew that the broccoli defence did not take place without any provocation, and keeping that in view, as a small token of remorse for punishing me, he declared the day I was born on to be a religious festival.. i.e. Eid. I was born after the moon had been sighted and the 1st of Shawal had been declared by out underused and overpaid, Rohat-e-hilal committee.

Now I was a beautiful baby. I mean, really. Boy, was I cute! I was so cute...so cute… but well enough about myself. Let's get back to the story. Yeah, so I was born. And I was cute. I had baby blue eyes, a cute little nose, ten really awesome fingers, ten adorable little toes, some hair (I think), and the rest of me was adorable too. At least that's what my grandmother keeps telling me.

I got lots of presents and monetary rewards for deigning to come down from heaven… none of which I ever got to see after I was old enough to appreciate them. But that's alright. After all my parents deserved to have a share of the spoils.. ..They were family after all.

And thus I began...

The Initial Phases

The Infancy

As an infant, I was once again adorable beyond belief. Friendly, co-operative, always took my meals on time and never bothered my mother. I was a veritable angel; loved by all who knew me.

Physically, I kept changing. The color of my eyes changed atleast seven times, going several shades of grey and blue before maturing to a vintage green. My angelic head retained it's golden halo and my tiny limbs geared up to meet the pressures of every day life. Major activities during the day were rudimentary exercises of the vocal cords, flexing the limbs and joints by attempting to scale the sides of that cradle thingy, and charming the pants off of any visitors that happened to venture by.

By the time I reached the end of my infancy, my social skills were quite enhanced. In addition to that, I held the title for the best Vocal Cords in the business.

And then my infantile existence reached maturity, and I was thrust into the cruel and insensitive world of Children!!!

The Childhood

Maturing into a child isn't really that bad…if they all don't start treating you like one.

Entering upon the disgusting and awful world of children, I discovered that not only does your perceived value go down, all the advantages you ever had due to your small size disappear with one felt blow. Now it was good to be big, the bigger the better. It's a dog eat dog world out there, and I realized the bitter truth that I didn't even measure up to a poodle. After being a senior citizen in Infantland, I suddenly became the youngest in THE CHILDHOOD.

That's pretty close to Sherwood, except Robin's never around.

For the most part, it took me a while to realize that I was still tops...I just had to make sure every one else knew it too. So I was nice to the Big ones and asserted my authority on the new arrivals. It was a good balance.

ACADEMiC PROFiLE

Starting academic life didn't prove to be much of a challenge, considering the fact that I was a born genius. Besides every time the going got tough, we just packed up and left.

You may think that this was due to the undying devotion bestowed upon me by my wonderful parents... but no. It was also in great part attributed to the undying devotion bestowed upon me by the Pakistan Army. Like, was I popular or what!

My earliest memories with children have certain horrifying undertones. At the age of five I had my skull cracked open by a vicious brat, who was simply jealous of the fact that I was so brilliant and fantastic. I demonstrated and extraordinary amount of courage and didn't actually start crying till I reached up and discovered that I was bleeding. It took all of two seconds for the fact to register and then Niagara Falls changed course and started flowing down my face. Ah well, you can't keep down the great for too long. Within two weeks, I was back in form and I exacted a revenge that will be remembered by all till kingdom come. I wish I could tell you about it, but the details are confidential.

At the age of six, I got lost in a mall. At seven I celebrated my birthday thrice. At eight, we shifted to Lahore from Kotli(Azad Kashmir). I joined third grade at Cathedral High School. At nine, the most controversial thing that happened was that this guy went to this girl and said "I love you!". The world was in an uproar. The principal was informed. The offender was penalized and the lady in question had to be pacified greatly before she stopped sniffing. It was the biggest news of the year and the talk didn't stop till the annual mela, at which I managed to make myself the centre of attention… and I am not going to explain how!

At ten the call of the army moved us to this huge remote city, Dera Ismail Khan. Now this city was right on the banks of the Indus river. My last unconfused, non-ambivalent years were spent under the shadows of it's Eucalyptus trees. For the first time in my marvelous life, I had an intimation of what retirement would taste like. I had a best friend. The school had the best aaloo key samosas on planet earth, with this amazing orange colored chutni, that was just heaven. It was also a period of change and learning. In 5th grade we used to wear dupattas only on Islamiat days... and never talked to boys. In 6th grade, duppattas became a regular feature … and NEVER talked to boys. Major memories include drastically flunking a math exam and hating the Urdu teacher.

7th grade found me enveloped in a chadder which used to find ways of slipping no matter how many pins I stuck into the blasted thing. Most vivid vision entails actively hating the algebra teacher, the Urdu teacher, the Islamiat teacher, the Pak Studies teacher… etc. We now fought with the boys. In h grade things changed for the worse. Us shareef, shareef larkiyan's started receiving notes like..

"Meet me outside the chemistry lab after class.....

                                                                        your secret admirer”

This led to a series of investigations, accusations and writing analysis's, a' la "Murder She Wrote". But the misguided individuals were never apprehended.

Nature intervened once again, and with the blessings of the Pakistan Army, Abu was packed off to Chitral. You may say "Oh how wonderful! The northern areas are sooo beautiful.. blah blah blah.."

Well, it might have been fun… had we been there. According to the Chitralis I couldn't study in 9th grade there "Woh jee...humarey larkey kharab ho jain gey.."

Talk about nerve...humph!!

9th grade found me in Karachi. DHA Phase 4 was anybody's nightmare… I hated all the teachers. But then so did everyone else. You had to wear those awful looking scraps of cloth and there were regular tests….. AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!

I cannot recall hating a school as much as I hated DHA in those initial months of displacement. My only sanctuary was the library… ooooh whatta library. They had the most vast collection of books on planet earth... and that kinda kept me sane. Retreating from the real world is a lot of fun… if you know how to do it. Another redeeming quality was the very well equipped canteen. Mmmmmm......

I can't remember a school that was as demanding as Phase 4 in all my academic life. Whereas studies had come easily to me before, now I had to work at it. Suffice it to say, I didn't appreciate it.

Then life settled into a routine. My brilliance asserted itself and I once again returned to my state of continuous happiness. Being in an all girl school taught me a lot of things… and I'll be damned if I could remember a single one. I had friends, could go to birthdays, borrow books, and talking on the phone took on new meanings. It wasn't a proper conversation if you didn't keep the line busy for at least an hour...

Oh by the way, in case you are wondering why we are still in Childhood, it's because I firmly believe that you are not officially an adult till you can vote. Therefore, my childhood is all there is.

The biggest nightmare we faced back in school were the 10^th grade board exams. Feverish studying took place using all means of modem communication. No subject was so tough that it couldn't be done over the phone. The extent to which this theory was applied can be judged by the fact that when the February phone bill was received by my unsuspecting ghar-wallas, I was temporarily history.

10^th grade holidays were fun. We joined Abu in Chitral for the duration. And I took my favorite cousin along. We had a blast. Chitral is a real funny place. You won't get PTV or STN, but you can watch as much Star Plus as you want. Our lives were spent in indulgent luxury. Ordering french fries, having coffee, getting hooked on Santa Barbera, movies, MTV and the breathtaking surroundings. It was heaven on earth. Managed to meet Princess Diana in the meantime too. She was so impressed by my brilliant self that she simply had to fly down to pay me a visit. Heh heh heh!!!

After that brief, pleasurable interlude with Joy, we were forced to return to the heaving mass of pulsating humanity. Abu's next transfer turned out to be Karachi. Back on home ground.

College wasn't a tough decision. You went all your friends went.. and all your friends went to Dha. That's DHA College for Women. Initially we all used to have fits about being in a women's Institution but then it turned out that most of them were.

Commuting to a white walled prison, in the middle of the barren sand dunes of a desert disguised as a residential area was the least of our worries. It was surviving within that was the challenge. College was an experience. We were among the conscientious students who rarely bunked classes… in the beginning. After the novelty wore off, bunking was the order of the day. I mean a person's got to eat too, you know. And if you thought that you could get anywhere within five miles of the counter during break... well happy day dreams!

Therefore, in the greater interest of feeding our bottomless pits, we sacrificed our academic heritage. We tortured our innocent stomachs with concoctions such as last-weeks-super-starched-corn-soup.... heavy on the starch. It couldn't be called chicken corn soup, cause I never found any chicken. Com flour, on the other hand, was in such abundance, that you could starch your duppatta in it. There were brownies that tasted like dry sponge and patties that oozed with grease. But eat we did.... through thick and thin, grease and starch we stuffed like no homosapien has stuffed before... AND we enjoyed it!

It was an acquired taste... the DHA cafeteria. But we had good stuff too. Hot, steaming samosas... plates of chinese rice (the trick was too soak the rice with soya sauce.... anything would taste good after that).

We learned the tricks of the trade in the midterms and the preliminaries. We learned to communicate while placed at strategic distances… and most of all we learned the importance of the idiom

"Unity is Strength"

In short, we learned all the necessary arts of survival in the modem world... and we also managed to live in between. There were concerts and talent shows and birthdays... well, funstuff!

The best part about DHA was that the major portion of the population was interested in the same form of escape that I employed.. ...READING. There was such a vast untapped reserve of books out there, just waiting to be explored. My daily regimen consisted of getting into college and then visiting all my contacts in all three faculties, gathering information about the new merchandise. During this period, JB's (Jumma Bazaar) proved to be a treasure trove in terms of acquiring new books. Invariably I also always managed to be late for the first class

And then one day it was all over. My brief stint in the sheltered world of DHA drew to a close with the culmination of our 2nd year exams. The feeling I had when leaving Phase 4 for the last time had been one of sadness, of having lost my childhood forever. It was an end and a beginning. My heart had been heavy as I had gazed at it's lonely corridors on that last day of school and felt a twinge of fear that I shall never belong there again. It was a passing of sorts, a parting...not just from those familiar surroundings, but from a familiar way of life...all the rules that defined our conduct…all the regulations that we had followed like law…now meant nothing. It was the acquisition of a freedom that I wasn't sure I wanted.

Leaving College didn't have a feeling of fear. It was more towards expectation, apprehension maybe. To tell the truth, college was slow. Two years had gone by without me even realizing where the time had gone. I now stood at a cross roads...where to turn.

You always plan all the things that you would do if only you have time. Well when you do, I tell you, you can't remember a single one. After a lot of boredom, and all the movies I could possibly watch, I entered a new phase in my life...self sufficiency.

Employment

I got a job.

Yes, I know what you're thinking. Who'd be mad enough to hire somebody fresh out College, with no former work experience? Well it's wonderful what you can accomplish if you know the right people!

Anyway, working at Standard Chartered Bank was an experience. Sometimes I was treated as a child and sometimes no task was big enough for me..... even if it was flying off to Lahore for the day.

If I had to write "A day in the life of…" on this experience, the more interesting points would include the daily squabbles I had with my boss, the fact that marketing had a hidden store of coffee, which we did not reveal to anyone, and that me and my better half, who was working on the first floor, used to go ballistic over Blue eyes and the D'hamidi Partnership Advertising, two of whom had...oh my God.....

…PONYTAILS!!!

November of '95 was an interesting period in my life by all means. I accomplished a lot of things.... completing the internship, flunking IBA, re-evaluating my priorities.... etc.

About this time of my life I can easily say that it was the best of all times and it was the worst of all times. Some where in there, in my parents eyes, I grew up. I don't know how and I don't know why. I know I was still the child I had been, but because of my entrance into the big, bad world, I was assumed to have changed. In some ways, I felt like Alice in the Looking Glass. Stuck on the other side, watching the world operate normally... .yet not able to take part in it. Standing in the midst of the fast paced world, yet not a part of it. All around me was chaos and confusion, and there was no one there to call to for help.

.

Well, if there is a beginning.. .there will ultimately be an end.

The culmination of this journey was in the hallowed domain of CBM........

The World As It Is

What do you do, you ask, once you have failed to qualify for…. someplace!?!

Well, you can always come to The College of Business Management...

Wonderful surroundings, lush green lawns, a feeling of being one with nature. Wondrous aromas reminiscent of mother nature always wafting in the rarified atmosphere…what more could you ask for!

My advent into the hallowed domain of CBM was viewed with a large degree of apprehension by my overprotective loco parentis. Abu's basic worry was.....well....the Boys. Understandable! After all, I had spent nearly four and a half of my formative years in all girl associations. He needn't have worried.

The very first day I entered class, the Great Divide had already been created. The All Women Association on the right side of the class and everything else on the left. It was a nice arrangement, although rather impossible...considering the fact that we had at the time, four years to spend in the company of those ugh...Boys.

But well, nature took it's course and after a ...well...sufficient length of time, the Queens of Disdain, designed to bestow their attention on the other species existing in their presence. Not that they could have cared less. Every one at CBM has this habit of being quite mast in themselves. The world exists naught, but for their convenience.

Three semesters later, I feel as in am astride a running horse or an inexorable merry-go-round ride, in               which once you climb on, there is no way off.

A thought for the future

Life continues at it's own sweet pace…sometimes fast..... at times very slow. It's got it's own agenda to follow and it will continue in it's course regardless of all that transpires.

My brilliant self will continue bettering itself, in the quest to be the ultimate being in the universe. I require very little to make me happy. A little security...a bit of support...and my marvelous, amazing, fantastic, wonderful... so on & so forth… existence will rise above the minor complexities tied to the mortal form and become... Me!!!!

May all of you find it within yourselves, to be as gloriously outstanding, exceptionally remarkable, and astonishingly humble as I am.

Peace .....

***************************************************** I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p GemWorld Copyright © Fars - FS 2004 to inifinity