All good things... must come to an end..

That was the title of the 2 part series finale of Dawsons Creek towards which i expressed my whole hearted dissatisfaction with the culmination. i dont know whats right & whats wrong.
Im just floating through life right now with no responsibilities or cares. Cares refers to more than just regular cares. It also refers to there's nothing holding me back from my dreams and if i want to live them any which way i please, i wouldnt be breaking any promises if i went ahead and pursued them as i saw fit.

Its a great place to be. I can go quit my job and sit at home and my parents would support me. It would be a mentally draining experience :) but its an option. I could also decide i want to study further, drop everything and go off to wherever i may please and start doing that. Inshallah i'll be resourceful enough to make it on my own. Or i could shift jobs .. to anywhere in the world coz i would like that very much. Thats like a paid vacation.. thats why i wanted to be a pilot in an airlines.

And i dont know where i'll be next. And amazingly that excites me rather than scares me. People try to scare me. People always try to be nice by informing you of all the pitfalls of life because they consider it their communal duty. But I have Faith.

Im no angel. I try to be good. But i have wandered off the path of the Almighty of my own free will on numerous occassions. Those who love me may forgive me. Those who dont may condemn me. My God will definitely give me atleast one tour of duty through hell. Thats a certainty i wont even think of avoiding. My sins are more from the physical reality rather than the spiritual realm. Many would insist both are interconnected. But the way i see it, i've seen black souls without a single shred of physical sin attached to them. And i've seen the worst of lives with such pure souls that its baffling. Only Allah in his wondrous comprehension can decipher who thinks what and how he will judge them.

Judgement is his and no one else's. Thats a concept thats alien to human society :) one of my pet peeves.

But let's get back to me. hmm... not to advertise but i was a pretty damn criminal minded child. If there was a way to do something remotely morally corrupt i would think of it.. even if i wouldnt implement. Got into my share of scrapes that way too. Love short cuts i think. hmm.. so in the course of life, wynona ryder type shop lifting (highly infrequent) was part and parcel. My love for books kinda pushed the lifting in direction of libraries... :> The sins of the tongue have always caught one unawares.. these happen wherever one decides to bestow trust on someone in the hope that news doesnt actually pass from mouth to mouth and instead remains contained in the realms of trust once you've decided to bestow it.

That only happens in one case. Best friend. No where else. Now your best friends can be multitudinal. They can be your cousins, your mom, or in actuality your best friends :) i have best friends. A limited number of 'em. Mashallah... its the grace of Allah that has blessed me.. i know amazing people. People who literally single handedly sometimes rejuvenate my faith in the human race when all seems lost and utterly ridiculous. People who show me who i am... and try to make me better and safer... here's to my people (raising a beer bottle shaped mountain dew..) cheers!

To my bestest... as sung quite eloquently by Celine Dion...
For all the times you stood by me.. For all the truth you made me see...
For all the joy your brought to my life.. for all the wrongs you made right...
For every dream you made come true... for all the love i found in you...
I'll be 4ever thankful..
You're the one that held me up... never let me fall..
You're the ones who saw me through.. through it all...
You guyz make my life worth living... my fortresses of solitude... my sounding boards... my partners in crime and life... This is for each one of you...

To my mirror of truth.. my shelter in the storm... my anchor.. my strength.. Thank you for your love, for your faith, for your acknowledgement of my failings and accepting me inspite of them for who i am. For showing me love incomparable.. For flowers that have brightened my special days... for seeing beauty within me.. for letting me feel beautiful in the face of my constant whining about being fat and ugly and hair going white and eyes getting wrinkled and feet starting to hurt... for allowing me the security that no matter what happens, where i go... when i get there, there will always be someone who would take care of me regardless and find me beautiful.. thank you for smiling at my eccentricities and tolerating my mood swings. For putting me in my place and making me realize my mistakes. For helping me be a better person. For doing things that benefitted no one but me.. for being happy simply because i was. For buying me yummy stuff. For getting presents for no reason. For always putting me first in nearly every thought or action..

I have known love and it has given me wings to fly, courage to live and zest to savor every breath i take...

Your homes are my havens no matter where in the world you may be now or later. You are my fortress of solitude.. my companion in shared silence... you are my partner in crime and co-owner of all my castles in the sky.. you are the strains of the sweetest song i've ever heard and i'll hum it in my heart for eternity.. I love you the way you are.. no changes required... ever!

For reaching out to me when i withdraw from the world. For protecting me from evil no matter what form it took... (bitch or devil:) for thinking the same thing at the same time and taking the words outta my mouth... for getting hyper with me.. for allowing the flavor of life to burst forth and fill my living moments.. my wildest moments are yours.. you give me the courage to let go... i've felt safe with you everywhere in the world.. Its a double edged sword.. i hurt too sometimes... but then theres no discounting the good and the scale will always lean towards love..

For a decade of love... glorious love.. the greatest love.. because friendship is the truest form of love.. Thank you...

Thank God for you all :)
love

Princess of the GemWorld

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I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
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