Jingle Bells...

Its hard to believe that its the end of 2004...

Like so many other things in my life the changing of the years has also stopped leaving an impression.. i remember the transition in 1999 vividly.. the years to follow the same sense of wonder pervaded my mind each time the clock would tick over the dawn of a new numeric year.. 2004 was the last year to do so.. 2005 will be lost in the crowd of other mundane events in life..

Its weird.. i sometimes feel like my childlike sense of wonder is slipping away.. the inherent excitement in everything.. a new place.. an international trip.. shopping.. food... sometimes i feel bereft of it.. i think its a result of the barriers ive created around my heart to shelter it from the pain of disappointment.. having developed a highly blase outlook on life.. nothing upsets me anymore.. nearly nothing.. there isnt anything that i can not face with faith.. but.. somehow the quest to keep my inner sanctum safe and ripple free somehow seems to have diluted the intensity of feeling within my soul..

or maybe for the first time in my life.. i may have experienced fear.. and to counter that detachment proceedings were carried out.. i still have faith in the Almighty.. but somehow i have a feeling that my human side decided to take additional precautions in case he decides to test me.. so it put up additional safety nets all around me to close me off from adverse reactions..

i dont know which is worse.. feeling everything or not feeling at all.. i guess once you make that distinction you can go forward either fully prepared for the consequences or fully safe from everything .. including happiness.. its a mind boggling dilemmna.. :)

Lifes ok.. i have tried to be on a protein diet.. for some reason i found it to be pretty easy.. i guess that makes me a bonafide carnivore.. bring on the meat baby.. lol.. but in all seriousness.. its damn easy.. unless you travel on the 6pm PIA economy plus flight.. in which the entire in-flight meal comprises of 3 portions of carbs.. :)
i had half a McArabia.. i like it.. also had.. umm.. a damascus ka shwarma.. thought it was drier than usual.. had a silver spoon ka chicken roll.. had a chicken dosa from something bbq in khadda market.. had some nice italian food at the Sicilian.. the seafood soup was also pretty nice..

my experience of the world as i keep reiterating is defined through my consumption occassions.. if i dont consume and taste.. it leaves very little of an impression on me.. :) cant help it thats just the way it is.

Ok me be off.. take care me lovelies.. although im not a sea faring person per se.. but i like it..

cheerios
Princess of the GemWorld
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I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

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