Talk about forces of nature... i came to work with a sky so sunny i wanted to duck into the nearest crevice and go to sleep... the sun does that to me. I dont like him much.. and i think the feeling is mutual..
so i get to work and within like 15 minutes to that incident, the cool gray clouds sped across the blue sky and started pouring down on us in a gentle flurry of raindrops.. so sweet and soft... decidedly muddy... but for karachi :) such a blessing...
I stand at a proverbial fork in the road... i dont know where to turn. In many instances in our lives we are presented with situations which are perfect all things remaining constant... but all things dont remain constant. Thats the hard slap of reality leaving its indelible imprint across your rosy red cheeks... not fun..
So i've looked around me trying to gauge how God would want me to proceed. It seems like im reflecting on my life in terms of things that shouldnt even be questioned. Things happen. We deal. We always deal. We know we can.
Thats the problem. Everything is doable. Everything is reasonable. Everything can be made possible with the grace of Allah mian.
The hang up we have is ... what is traditionally acceptable. and how far will we allow tradition to rule our lives as opposed to what is reasonably correct in the eyes of man and God without any weightage given to societys judgements.
Alot of people argue that society will condemn regardless. Its true. Its a first hand experience. The only motivation that an individual should have to follow the true path is for God Almighty and himself. Because it doesnt matter if you're a saint, society will still seek to crucify you. There is no middle ground for our yapping hordes. There is no moderation. There is either good or bad. Either purity or evil. Thats not the way it is. Life has always been shades of gray... but they only allow shades of gray for themselves.. :) everyone else is judged by black and white.
I will break their faces one day and place their broken jaws on their twisted palms.
Allah willing the day is not far when any living being who seeks to hurt another with his words or actions will be dealt with swiftly and with equal force.
As always my life is simple. My thoughts are simple. My plan is not having a plan. I dont know if i will die alone. But i can try not to let that hurt me. Fear is something that I seek to reserve for Allah alone. I shall try not to fear any other element in my life. Life can not be lived with fear. If you fear anyone or anything other than Allah mian, you're going to have a sorry existance. There is no salvation in fear. There is salvation in courage.
My friend said courage arises from fear. True. But then the truest courage can only arise from the fear of God... for he is the ultimate. If you fear what he has created, you're moving a level down... and so will the courage you derive.
I cant live life scared. Death is but a moment away. Life is unpredictable. So live it the best way you can, and keep your priorities straight and you wont go wrong.
I dont hold anything against planners. People should plan. If thats what makes them happy. Dont expect the plans to be guaranteed fruition, because that would lead to disappointment. Take each day as it comes and try to fill it with as much happiness, contentment and good as you can. If a difficult task. I cant think of even one charitable thing that i have done today.
Make sure you dont place conditions on your happiness. So many people keep waiting for the day that they will be happy. Reminds you of that email fwd that we all once got... life passes you by and you keep waiting. Find your happiness in every moment. A shared laugh. A drop of rain. A goood cup of tea. A hot and lovely pakora.. :) when its raining and you have chai and pakoras... ufff life ban gai...
find your happiness in a call from your best friend... find it in a joke you share with a colleague... find it in properly placed stationary... in free calendars and diaries :) ... in properly printed pos material... find it in people who call and ask you for favors( it means they think you're capapble of helping)... find it in the car you have on a rainy day.. and otherwise ... find it in having a sweet sheesha on a cold winter night in damascus...
find it in silence.. find it in merry noise...
find it all around you because all you have to do is look...
and NEVER be afraid.
God starts opening windows before he even slightly closes the door... Life is continuous.. its like a flowing stream... you can direct yourself a bit, but basically it will decide on its own where you'll flow... so dont fight it. Give thanks for the blessings you have... and dont sweat the stuff you dont... All in good time.. when its better for you... thats when you'll be blessed...
Of course there will be bumps. But you need to remember one thing. Once you define whats important to you then dont give a shit about anything else. The voices of the world should fade away .. their criticism will never stop. Its a rare individual who can see another happy and not be even the least bit resentful. The world is a hurting place. Dont let it hurt you. If the voices dont fade, you can damn well strangle them.
There are many things wrong with our world. Someone has to make the stand and change things to make them right. And we're all so scared of coming out of our little holes of existence where we try to keep away from being noticed, that we can only criticize society's certain individuals for making everyone elses life hell... but no one has the gumption to go and shut them all up.
The only opinion/judgement/perception that will matter will be the judgement of God during our lives and on that final day.
Everything else will be irrelevant... and an utter waste of time and energy.
Inspite of my bravado, sometimes i am as scared as the next person. i draw on faith then to tide me over. i draw on my faith that Allah mian will come through in ways i may not understand but everything that happens, even the flutter of the wings of a bird are because of his will.. and his will may be at times to test us, but it will never be to break us..
believe in his love and you may be able to weather the wrath ...
I couldve been a highly miserable person.. had i let myself be that way. but mashallah so far i havent.. and inshallah i wont..
May Allah mian guide us all to a well lived life with lots of happiness and contentment, and may only that which is behtar happen for all of us.. and may it reveal itself as being behtar so we can try and understand it as well..
I have always tried. Tried to keep Allah mian happy. Ive realized i suck at keeping any one else happy. No matter how much i wanted to. So now ive given up.
The realization was brought home quite forcefully that i was not responsible for any one elses happiness. They were responsible for their own. I was responsible for ensuring that i didnt inflict any pain on anyone. I strive to avoid the negative in every aspect of my life.
I may not always succeed. Sometimes in the balance of right and wrong i must also fail miserably. But therein lies the glory of Allah mian. You start afresh, and strive all over again to be good. Try and fix what you've broken, but dont let it break you in such a way that you stop trying altogether. Keep fighting to be good. Its a war. against temptation, against desires. Fight it well. Fight for those you love. and inshallah you will be triumphant...
Im hoping to find a path... some guiding light... some middle road through which i can find a path through my confusion. The perfect compromise to keep only those i care about happy. The rest of the world can go suck an egg... and i mean it... *blood slightly simmering at the mere thought
May Allah bless us all... always and forever...
Princess of the GemWorld
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I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
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