full of something

i was just told by someone i was entirely too full of myself.. :)
along with the insinuations that i'm off my rocker and blatant accusations that im too used to getting my own way..
I've been told im a difficult friend.. Been told worse.. been called a liar, a brat, an insensitive retard...
I've been told im high maintenance, low maintenance, too easy ... and conversely too difficult..
I've been called a social recluse.. and a social butterfly...
Too many people seem to know me, while i seem to know very few...
I've been told im too forgiving... that i can melt and forgive those undeserving of any forgiveness... I've also been told im too hard and unbending and unforgiving.. that i cut people off without any chance of redemption...
I've been told i need to be more open to opportunity and exploring options... yet I've been told to restrict myself, my thoughts, my emotions and not live life too fully...
I've been instructed to follow the path of God.. to resist human judgement.. to forsake those elements who would condemn without knowledge.... Yet i've been told to be wary of what the neighbors say and what the world thinks ... to live within the confines of what society has dictated..

I've been judged to be an individual... not a conformist.. and i've been condemned for it...
Alternatively I've been told that i try too hard to fit in .. and i should try to retain my individuality..

I've been lectured on the rights and wrongs and the "dones" and "not dones" of todays communal laws... I've been told to sacrifice and compromise in order to fit the mould of acceptability...
Conversely I've been lectured on retention of my personal convictions... on fighting for what i stand for.. on living life on my own terms and not giving in to pressures resulting from other peoples perception of what reality is or should be...

Ive been called impractical... and overly practical..
truthful to a fault... and a liar...
been accused of living on a higher plane (sarcastically so.. ) .. and been told i'm too realistic
been told i make friends too easily... been told i'm not friendly enough...
been reprimanded for trusting too easily... been accused of not trusting at all..
been told im selfish... and too selfish...
been told i take more then i give... been told i give too much to those undeserving...
been told i need to lighten up and take things as they come.. been told i need to plan everything right up to the day i am dropped 6 feet under and worry about whether i'll have someone to carry out the funeral arrangements...
Been told im perfect... been told im definitely not...
been called fat... been called normal...
been told i think too much... been told i dont think at all... should think more...
been told im lost...
been loved, hated, liked, disliked, abhorred, adored, bitched about, defended, smiled at scowled at...
been told i havent lived at all.. been told im lucky to have seen the world the way i have..
been told im nothing on my own... Believe that i am something not nothing...


well to all of the above... Yes i am (to quote Melissa Etheridge) & hanh mein houn! (to quote The Bandit Queen :)

and fortunately for the rest of pulsating humanity, its nobodys problem but mine.

Princess of the GemWorld
** Full of it .. & Lovin It... !!
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I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004