Realm of the Soul: April 2008

Sunday, April 13, 2008

a history of my blog

i was depressed the other day and i went googling my name on the web... i do that to give my existence some substance every now and then.. while i know my "google name" is "fariha gemworld".. but sometimes i just like seeing what else is out there and just google "fariha"..

so i came across farsQuest which is another fariha and she was talking about her fathers bday on april 1st. i think all farihas are inherently happy.. its because our name means happy..

but sometimes as ive said before in my blog numerous times, happiness comes at the cost of numbness.. you just refuse to acknowledge certain things in life.. the down side is you start forgetting alot in your efforts not to remember ..

i looked back today on some of the aprils gone by... april 2004 was the first one.. the one where i'd just moved to lahore.. and our wee small office had just 24 ppl in it.. My life as an office was one of the most hilarious blogs and even now i get a smile on my face when i go through it...

April 2005 was just me venting for one reason or the other... it was right before i was getting married so i guess the stress factor was a little on the high side..

april 2006 my father passed away & life came to a standstill...

After that ive just spent all my time missing him ... so much so that there isnt an april 2007..

circle of life :)..

Cheerios

Princess of the GemWorld

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Fariha's Thoughts of the Day:

GoogleName: Fariha GemWorld

Blogspot: http://gemworld.blogspot.com

MSN Space: http://gemworldfars.spaces.live.com/

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Friday, April 11, 2008

in remembrance of my father

today is april 11th.. 2 years to the day my father passed away on 12 rabiulawwal in 2006.. it had been a quiet day. i'd gotten to the LNH hospital room where he had insisted on spending the night at around noon.. the night before he had been instructing the attendant chap on how to clean the air conditioning filter to optimize electricity usage.

khala & johnny mamu & shahid mamu had just finished feeding him a nice home cooked meal.. i had brought home made chinese but he had just finished eating & looked happy.. but he'd started fading in and out. and he knew it.. he called me over.. asked about china.. told me to look after ami.. asked me to tune the TV to national geographic.. asked about the DHA papers.. and finally slipped into a sleep by around 2pm.. i heard him breathing.. it was labored.. i prayed as i sat there on the sofa next to the bed.. and then after some time i felt as if i couldnt hear him breathing any more.. i went over to check with trepidition and leaned close and suddenly he took a breath ... but it was like he took it in ... but i thought it was ok.. and he was fine.. and i sat back down..

that was my fathers last breath ...

i had witnessed the end of my fathers circle of life and i will always cherish and be grateful to Allah mian for how peaceful he made abu's passing.. i will always be grateful that i was there with him.. i will always be grateful for every living breathing moment i had with him.. and i will never ever ever forget abu.. i love him forever and always...

as did so many others.. i pray to Allah mian that i get to be with abu in heaven even if its a different level.. im trying to live my life with positivity & joy and to make sure that i do all thats right so i can have a chance of having my father with me once again..

i love you abu.. forever and always...

fariha