a century of what you ask?!.. This is my 100th post on this blog..
and its around the same time that i started blogging in the first place in 2003.. :) funny aint it..
i remember this time so well.. it was nearing new years the day i wrote my 1st blog... it was a slightly depressing time in my life as all decembers were apt to being.. the winter season has always traditionally been one of upheaval and irritation in general for me..
i dont like it.. i love the winters, but the whole upheaval part is something i can live without if you know what i mean.. i dont like psychosomatic stress.. it gives me psychosomatic diahrea.. which is not the nicest thing in the world if you know what i mean..
do you know what i mean.. i mean really.. do you..?
do you even care..
its been two years.. does any care out there..
sighhh... why should you.. what goes of your father anyhow..
as always close to new years i find my self slipping into the past.. reminiscing about the way things were.. and usually i only remembered the good times.. this time round i find myself also facing upto the not so good ones.. the mistakes we've made.. the heartaches we had.. the sadness that sometimes seemed to envelop our very being...
you may have noticed i talk in plural.. it because all my monumental moments in life were usually shared with my friends and family.. when i was little, my cousins were there all along... when i got older, Allah blessed me with some very lovely friends... the ones that were worth keeping are with me still..
I sometimes wonder.. *with this funny headache resounding in my head because i had to face sun exposure this morning, hence resulting in a slightly depressed and headachy state of mind in general... is this what life is supposed to be..
i know.. i know.. i keep coming full circle to this ageless question.. but somethimes i feel its good to sit back and REALLY look at your life and see what its all about.. sometimes when you feel life isnt making sense, dont make excuses for it.. either accept that you've screwed up somewhere and try to fix it.. or dont even think about it and go on as you are..
whats the worst that can happen anyway.. God has already ordained how much money you're going to get on your stay on earth.. and how much food you will eat. does that also mean its already ordained how much fat we'll have on our bodies.. no no no.. ahem.. God has also left the choice of whether or not to exercise upto us.. so inspite of the abundent availability of food, we also have the right to lose the fat.. easier said than done?! I KNOW!!
Personally i think its like a cat and mouse game. or a vicious circle. you eat, you get fat. you dont eat, you get depressed. you eat and exercise, you're a saint. which im not.. plus which when i get fat i also get depressed.. so im seriously screwed.
You have to love Allah Mian though.. hes got his ways.. i cant ever complain i didnt have enough to eat, wear or any scarcity of electronic gadgetry (my three main reasons for being).. i can however complain about the abundance of certain negatives in my life.. none of which i will mention..
some venting doesnt need to recorded on public blogs :)
oh well.. i'll be back.. i'll go crawl under my rock for a few days till i can come back out with my head in order.
tudeloo darlins
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004 to inifinity
Friday, December 30, 2005
Thursday, December 22, 2005
The hyposcrisy of it all
I was seething with anger and suppressed rage yesterday..
someone we once knew had the gall to call up someone else we know and actually had the audacity to complain that they werent included in the significent occassions of our lives.
I have no time or energy to waste on individuals who donot know even the most fundamental basics of ... ANYTHING...
This is a message and its loud and clear. Certain people in this world DONOT EXIST on the periphery of our existance. They shouldnt have existed ever.. it took us a while to wisen up to it. But now that we have, its not a lesson we will easily forget.. Stop calling our friends and aquaintances and complaining that you have been wronged because you werent made a part of something.
You werent made a part because you werent wanted. You werent required. You donot exist. Life goes on.
And you started it. We didnt end things. We in our sublime idiocy believed that all people are inherently good. Well now we know better. Some people are plain evil. And its best to stay away from them.
We dont want to know you. We dont want to associate with you. We dont want you to know how we are, where we are, or what the hell we are doing.
We are happy living our lives and its not our fault that you have a screwed up existence and no friends to call your own that you have to go around calling up people and complaining about being left out of the lives of people that you intentionally havent spoken, associated with or kept up any appearances with for the past 5 years and running.. And Thank God Almighty, we are all the better for it..
we are happier and content without the constant speculation, judgement, bullshit, bitchiness and politicizing that we had to deal with in your presence.
We wish you all the best in your own hole in the world. Good riddance.
Hasta lavista..
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004 to inifinity
someone we once knew had the gall to call up someone else we know and actually had the audacity to complain that they werent included in the significent occassions of our lives.
I have no time or energy to waste on individuals who donot know even the most fundamental basics of ... ANYTHING...
This is a message and its loud and clear. Certain people in this world DONOT EXIST on the periphery of our existance. They shouldnt have existed ever.. it took us a while to wisen up to it. But now that we have, its not a lesson we will easily forget.. Stop calling our friends and aquaintances and complaining that you have been wronged because you werent made a part of something.
You werent made a part because you werent wanted. You werent required. You donot exist. Life goes on.
And you started it. We didnt end things. We in our sublime idiocy believed that all people are inherently good. Well now we know better. Some people are plain evil. And its best to stay away from them.
We dont want to know you. We dont want to associate with you. We dont want you to know how we are, where we are, or what the hell we are doing.
We are happy living our lives and its not our fault that you have a screwed up existence and no friends to call your own that you have to go around calling up people and complaining about being left out of the lives of people that you intentionally havent spoken, associated with or kept up any appearances with for the past 5 years and running.. And Thank God Almighty, we are all the better for it..
we are happier and content without the constant speculation, judgement, bullshit, bitchiness and politicizing that we had to deal with in your presence.
We wish you all the best in your own hole in the world. Good riddance.
Hasta lavista..
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004 to inifinity
Thursday, December 15, 2005
My life as a slave
Thats what i am.. a corporate slave ... sigh
for all our high handed notions of grandeur that we all aspire towards at the end of the day.. thats what we are.. sighhhhhh..
theres no positive or negative to it.. its just a sorry fact of life and something that must be accepted with whatever bitterness or resignation to fate thats required...
my matchmaking efforts arent progressing with any efficiency.. contrary to my expectations no one actually wants any help. everyone seems to be quite content in their little existences and dont really want any help in trying to change their marital status..
sigh.. i was so looking forward to having some sense of achievement by helping along our Lords work but it seems these lowly mortals just dont seem to get it.
its not that tough trying to give someone a chance. i mean you dont have to marry the first person you meet, but atleast meet them. At the very least it would be an educational experience about whats out there and what to avoid.
Theres only so much nature can do... the rest is up to the individuals.. no?
anyway.. the weathers getting colder by the day. i cant seem to figure out what to do.. its soo cold i cant drag myself out of the double blankets i encase my self in each night.. brrrr.. by the morning when you're as warm as toast, you really dont want to get out and face the morning chill..
i gotta go.. me and my fwiendsy anie are going to have kachoris at the minigolf cause they have really awesome kachoris..
cheerios
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004 to inifinity
for all our high handed notions of grandeur that we all aspire towards at the end of the day.. thats what we are.. sighhhhhh..
theres no positive or negative to it.. its just a sorry fact of life and something that must be accepted with whatever bitterness or resignation to fate thats required...
my matchmaking efforts arent progressing with any efficiency.. contrary to my expectations no one actually wants any help. everyone seems to be quite content in their little existences and dont really want any help in trying to change their marital status..
sigh.. i was so looking forward to having some sense of achievement by helping along our Lords work but it seems these lowly mortals just dont seem to get it.
its not that tough trying to give someone a chance. i mean you dont have to marry the first person you meet, but atleast meet them. At the very least it would be an educational experience about whats out there and what to avoid.
Theres only so much nature can do... the rest is up to the individuals.. no?
anyway.. the weathers getting colder by the day. i cant seem to figure out what to do.. its soo cold i cant drag myself out of the double blankets i encase my self in each night.. brrrr.. by the morning when you're as warm as toast, you really dont want to get out and face the morning chill..
i gotta go.. me and my fwiendsy anie are going to have kachoris at the minigolf cause they have really awesome kachoris..
cheerios
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004 to inifinity
Monday, December 05, 2005
Matrimonial Services
I have decided to help propagate the human race and offer my services in the highly sawaab worthy enterprise of matchmaking.
Now what should i name my little endeavor?!...
i though of "Made in Heaven".. but then it seemed too corny and considering the current success rates you never know...
so to think of something... i am starting a separate blog page just for this purpose.
"Practical Cupid"
Anyone who wants to be under great confidentiality matched, kindly send in your particulars via the blog and you will be replied to in case a match is made. Only seriously shareef people who are having issues meeting "person right" should even bother. otherwise its a waste of time.
Also i think that unless the applying individuals have parents that are open to them waltzing in one day with their chosen significant other on their arm, they should refrain from walking down this path.
Also please note, vis this service the interested parties will only be provided one, MAXIMUM TWO chaperoned visitations. Post the initial introduction you're on your own. Sink or swim.. its your deal. the end.
the blog name is practicalcupid.blogspot.com
There are no guarantees. There are no guarantees to life.. take a risk, be open minded, leave your judgements at the door and see what the world holds..
:) wow thats great text.. im using this as an intro on the page. :)
cheerios
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004 to inifinity
Now what should i name my little endeavor?!...
i though of "Made in Heaven".. but then it seemed too corny and considering the current success rates you never know...
so to think of something... i am starting a separate blog page just for this purpose.
"Practical Cupid"
Anyone who wants to be under great confidentiality matched, kindly send in your particulars via the blog and you will be replied to in case a match is made. Only seriously shareef people who are having issues meeting "person right" should even bother. otherwise its a waste of time.
Also i think that unless the applying individuals have parents that are open to them waltzing in one day with their chosen significant other on their arm, they should refrain from walking down this path.
Also please note, vis this service the interested parties will only be provided one, MAXIMUM TWO chaperoned visitations. Post the initial introduction you're on your own. Sink or swim.. its your deal. the end.
the blog name is practicalcupid.blogspot.com
There are no guarantees. There are no guarantees to life.. take a risk, be open minded, leave your judgements at the door and see what the world holds..
:) wow thats great text.. im using this as an intro on the page. :)
cheerios
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004 to inifinity
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Chilly nights & sunny days
Sometimes Allah mian decides to make us realize just how dynamic life is... by shifting around the game pieces in a flash, completely changing the rules of the game.
that realization is brought home to me the most in my current profession. Each day is a new storm waiting to happen.. each day opens with the promise of uncertainty and change written in bright red block letters written on the horizon.. sometimes it feels like i'm going to experience constant... ahem... delicate constitution issues.. because as we all know, the body empties the bowels when it prepares for battle.. making most battlefields in my estimation a particularly smelly piece of land.. yet simultaneously highly fertile..
i digress.. i've been reading this book these days. Why men dont talk and why women cant read maps.. its apparently based on scientific fact and attributes all the peculiarities of human behavior to genetic evolution from our bygone days of caveman existence. its very interesting and quite true as well. Loads of fun to read. Another one i bought in a flash of inspiration from the sunday market next to the Arts council, khi, is the gabriel garcia marquez Love in the time of cholera. Havent started reading it yet but the first page opened nicely. and i figure if nothing else it'll help me improve my vocabulary .. lol..
So thats that.
hmmm ... im gonna go and have my lunch now.. the other great thing is that i've been walking 30 mins every day for the past 3 days. InshAllah i will continue :) lol.. fitness and me dont mix well but i love walking/running.. out in the open.. regimentation has never agreed with me..
cheerios
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
that realization is brought home to me the most in my current profession. Each day is a new storm waiting to happen.. each day opens with the promise of uncertainty and change written in bright red block letters written on the horizon.. sometimes it feels like i'm going to experience constant... ahem... delicate constitution issues.. because as we all know, the body empties the bowels when it prepares for battle.. making most battlefields in my estimation a particularly smelly piece of land.. yet simultaneously highly fertile..
i digress.. i've been reading this book these days. Why men dont talk and why women cant read maps.. its apparently based on scientific fact and attributes all the peculiarities of human behavior to genetic evolution from our bygone days of caveman existence. its very interesting and quite true as well. Loads of fun to read. Another one i bought in a flash of inspiration from the sunday market next to the Arts council, khi, is the gabriel garcia marquez Love in the time of cholera. Havent started reading it yet but the first page opened nicely. and i figure if nothing else it'll help me improve my vocabulary .. lol..
So thats that.
hmmm ... im gonna go and have my lunch now.. the other great thing is that i've been walking 30 mins every day for the past 3 days. InshAllah i will continue :) lol.. fitness and me dont mix well but i love walking/running.. out in the open.. regimentation has never agreed with me..
cheerios
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Cricket fever
I always knew I'd hate cricket eventually. As a single woman, its ok to like sports. Having your own TV in your room also helps you tolerate the occasional tendency of your loving dad to dabble in watching something as mundane as cricket 24/7 for as long as its broadcasted.
I have to give my mum credit though. She cured my dad of wasting time on frivolous pursuits such as watching television a long time back. I believe its a combination of nagging + yelling that does the trick. The most hardened male is known to collapse in the face of female perseverance. However my dad found a substitute in the form of the internet and computers. That's a phenomenon which my mum doesn't understand so well so she's still trying to find the weak link to make that obsession come crashing to the ground too.
now me.. I never wanted a TV in the marital bedroom. I figured out much earlier thanks to my innate intuition which I have in abundance by virtue of being female, that a TV placed in a contained geographical area, with no picture in picture or split screen features, was a recipe for disaster. It opens up the vistas for a usually democratic govt. to tailspin into a headlong fall towards an age old battle - the mastery of the Remote control.
it would be unethical of me to disclose the details regarding the outcome of the battle in this case, but lets just say the show must go on. Even if it involves throwing one of the participants out of the battle ground till further notice.
but men are slow and don't understand how the delicate balance of power can be visibly upset when presented with something as basic as "who gets to rule the TV screen". As for me, I'm happy as long as its me.
its a nice quiet Sunday and thanks to cricket I am unable to watch my most cherished channel. Channel E. I must have my daily dose of what's going on in the lives of the Hollywood elite. It makes me feel... Informed. :) heheh.. and well its fun. As a woman I love gossip and when I get it without any effort its even more fun :).
I think I'll go now and wrestle the remote away from my other half.. he's had enough cricket for the day..
Note to all: Don't EVER share the remote and where sports are concerned, make it a rule not to allow them to be viewed on anything but the Lounge TV.
cheerios.
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
I have to give my mum credit though. She cured my dad of wasting time on frivolous pursuits such as watching television a long time back. I believe its a combination of nagging + yelling that does the trick. The most hardened male is known to collapse in the face of female perseverance. However my dad found a substitute in the form of the internet and computers. That's a phenomenon which my mum doesn't understand so well so she's still trying to find the weak link to make that obsession come crashing to the ground too.
now me.. I never wanted a TV in the marital bedroom. I figured out much earlier thanks to my innate intuition which I have in abundance by virtue of being female, that a TV placed in a contained geographical area, with no picture in picture or split screen features, was a recipe for disaster. It opens up the vistas for a usually democratic govt. to tailspin into a headlong fall towards an age old battle - the mastery of the Remote control.
it would be unethical of me to disclose the details regarding the outcome of the battle in this case, but lets just say the show must go on. Even if it involves throwing one of the participants out of the battle ground till further notice.
but men are slow and don't understand how the delicate balance of power can be visibly upset when presented with something as basic as "who gets to rule the TV screen". As for me, I'm happy as long as its me.
its a nice quiet Sunday and thanks to cricket I am unable to watch my most cherished channel. Channel E. I must have my daily dose of what's going on in the lives of the Hollywood elite. It makes me feel... Informed. :) heheh.. and well its fun. As a woman I love gossip and when I get it without any effort its even more fun :).
I think I'll go now and wrestle the remote away from my other half.. he's had enough cricket for the day..
Note to all: Don't EVER share the remote and where sports are concerned, make it a rule not to allow them to be viewed on anything but the Lounge TV.
cheerios.
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Reminiscences
I'm sitting here in S dadijans room on the couch watching Smallville. She was usually asleep by now. Memories are so fleeting. I saw an Ed yesterday in which he's going nuts trying to capture his most cherished memories on tape. Video. Reminded me of me. But I've missed many great moments. I was standing in the London Tube system the other day watching this man trying to remember the number of pockets on his cargoes and I knew the memory would slip away from my sieve like memory in a hurry. I was right. It's all gone now.
I remember a day not so long ago when Fais and I sat with S dadijan on one of his visits. She told us about how she used to play football when she was younger. Fais was so surprised. She laughed when she saw his reaction.
I remember the last time I saw her before I left for London. She was so alert. She knew the names of all her nurses and doctors even remembering things where uzmchis memory would fail her. She kissed me thrice when I said goodbye and kept asking how fais was. There was talk of shifting her out of the ICU into her own room. I left happy knowing she would be well. That was the last time I saw her.
Now I'm home. And sitting in the room I shared with her for over a year I find myself staying awake at night just thinking about how life just starts and ends and all we have is the time in between to be happy. Or miserable as per our choice.
Sometimes it seems as if the power of choice is wrested away from us. Sometimes it feels like we are carried away by the flow of circumstances and there's no control over where the currents will carry us and where our feet will finally find solid ground.
Maybe the objective of life is not to rest on solid ground. Maybe its purpose lies in fighting the currents to keep our heads above the water for as long as we can and once the fight has gone out of us our purpose is to gracefully surrender and sink to the riverbed for our final abode.
Maybe that's it..
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
I remember a day not so long ago when Fais and I sat with S dadijan on one of his visits. She told us about how she used to play football when she was younger. Fais was so surprised. She laughed when she saw his reaction.
I remember the last time I saw her before I left for London. She was so alert. She knew the names of all her nurses and doctors even remembering things where uzmchis memory would fail her. She kissed me thrice when I said goodbye and kept asking how fais was. There was talk of shifting her out of the ICU into her own room. I left happy knowing she would be well. That was the last time I saw her.
Now I'm home. And sitting in the room I shared with her for over a year I find myself staying awake at night just thinking about how life just starts and ends and all we have is the time in between to be happy. Or miserable as per our choice.
Sometimes it seems as if the power of choice is wrested away from us. Sometimes it feels like we are carried away by the flow of circumstances and there's no control over where the currents will carry us and where our feet will finally find solid ground.
Maybe the objective of life is not to rest on solid ground. Maybe its purpose lies in fighting the currents to keep our heads above the water for as long as we can and once the fight has gone out of us our purpose is to gracefully surrender and sink to the riverbed for our final abode.
Maybe that's it..
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
Friday, September 30, 2005
mush!!
thats what my brain feels like. pure unadulterated, beyond thelimits of solidity mush!!
its sad. on my tombstone they can have the following:
Here lies mush ! not worth much!
i feel like crap. or whatever crap must feel like. thats what i feel. argh. that was a very polite argh. i didint even put much effort behind it. but thats the summarization of my current state of mind i want to run away to some remote tropical island with internet & room service & life will be great. thats the way it should be. life should be one long stay on a tropical island with a shopping mall.
if i cud somehow also get a mall there to do window shopping in life wud be perfect.
im not happpy. im off
Princess of the GemWorld
************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
its sad. on my tombstone they can have the following:
Here lies mush ! not worth much!
i feel like crap. or whatever crap must feel like. thats what i feel. argh. that was a very polite argh. i didint even put much effort behind it. but thats the summarization of my current state of mind i want to run away to some remote tropical island with internet & room service & life will be great. thats the way it should be. life should be one long stay on a tropical island with a shopping mall.
if i cud somehow also get a mall there to do window shopping in life wud be perfect.
im not happpy. im off
Princess of the GemWorld
************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
sometimes its all cramped
Sometimes things are just cramped.. like right now. time is cramped. work is cramped. the mind is cramped. the body the soul.. everything just wants to stretch and work out the kinks. Maybe i just need more back support.
hmm... i dunno. somtimes i just feel like.. i dunno.
its not that i lack direction. i have it. in my mind. theres a beacon of light shining out in the right direction or what i believe is the right direction.
Sometimes i just sit here & mentally tick off all the things i want to do. somehow things keep getting added as soon as i tick something off. is it that way with everyone.
The other day i was watching tv and someone was talking about how some people shouldnt even have blogs cause its a waste of web space. well .. bugger off man.. if we want to waste webspace thats our prerogative and no one told you to read our shit anyway.
i admit alot of things in life seem like a monumental waste of time. But seriously, sometimes its the little things that make things worthwhile.. i dont know what direction life is supposed to take. I just know that right now im happy and content to an extent and i think thats the most that we can expect at any given point in time.
My credit cards are mostly paid up. Im not in debt.. i dont have any loans.. so im happy and free. i also have no assets to declare on my wealth statement. i dont know if thats a good thing or a bad thing. not sure.
as long as it makes filing tax returns easy i have no issues.
Just saw the Reema movie. What a piece of bullshit. the so-called husband should have been shot drawn & quartered and fed to the dogs at the end of it. what sort of bullshit eastern morality was she trying to preach to women. no matter what kind of a piece of shit you've married you need to worship the ground he walks on and forgive all his indiscretions, which in this case included marrying her for her money while he was having an affair with her friend, having an affair with the secretary, having an affair with the friend after being married, trying to frame her for murder and taking all her money... thats just half of it.
i seriously think the female film makers in Pakistan need to BORROW brains if they dont have them themselves before they shovel out shit like this to the masses. and then we wonder why Pakistan is portrayed as a nation where women's rights are a laugh. with this kind of portrayals, they are a laugh.
I think the film industry in Pakistan should be shut down so we can all bid adieu to all this continuous bullshit streaming out of its silly ass doors.
*deep breath.. that felt good.
Anyway, lifes ok. im debt free and ironing out some misbilling issues. once thats done, im truly debt free. thats all from my end. whats up at yours.
some days ago it was shab-e-mairaj. i got some messages. cool. thats the night when Allah mian decides who lives who dies and what you go through in the coming year. here's praying its all good and 2006 is a happy and contented year for all of us with the least amount of upheavals. heres hoping the industry prospers, the GDP grows and we all get raises. heres hoping telecom rates further decrease, laptops become more affordable and air travel becomes cheap. heres hoping we can all be with our loved ones all the time especially when they need us no matter where in the world they may be.. heres hoping the world becomes free and oppression is laid to rest and leaders start working for the people..
heres hoping we have hope..
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
hmm... i dunno. somtimes i just feel like.. i dunno.
its not that i lack direction. i have it. in my mind. theres a beacon of light shining out in the right direction or what i believe is the right direction.
Sometimes i just sit here & mentally tick off all the things i want to do. somehow things keep getting added as soon as i tick something off. is it that way with everyone.
The other day i was watching tv and someone was talking about how some people shouldnt even have blogs cause its a waste of web space. well .. bugger off man.. if we want to waste webspace thats our prerogative and no one told you to read our shit anyway.
i admit alot of things in life seem like a monumental waste of time. But seriously, sometimes its the little things that make things worthwhile.. i dont know what direction life is supposed to take. I just know that right now im happy and content to an extent and i think thats the most that we can expect at any given point in time.
My credit cards are mostly paid up. Im not in debt.. i dont have any loans.. so im happy and free. i also have no assets to declare on my wealth statement. i dont know if thats a good thing or a bad thing. not sure.
as long as it makes filing tax returns easy i have no issues.
Just saw the Reema movie. What a piece of bullshit. the so-called husband should have been shot drawn & quartered and fed to the dogs at the end of it. what sort of bullshit eastern morality was she trying to preach to women. no matter what kind of a piece of shit you've married you need to worship the ground he walks on and forgive all his indiscretions, which in this case included marrying her for her money while he was having an affair with her friend, having an affair with the secretary, having an affair with the friend after being married, trying to frame her for murder and taking all her money... thats just half of it.
i seriously think the female film makers in Pakistan need to BORROW brains if they dont have them themselves before they shovel out shit like this to the masses. and then we wonder why Pakistan is portrayed as a nation where women's rights are a laugh. with this kind of portrayals, they are a laugh.
I think the film industry in Pakistan should be shut down so we can all bid adieu to all this continuous bullshit streaming out of its silly ass doors.
*deep breath.. that felt good.
Anyway, lifes ok. im debt free and ironing out some misbilling issues. once thats done, im truly debt free. thats all from my end. whats up at yours.
some days ago it was shab-e-mairaj. i got some messages. cool. thats the night when Allah mian decides who lives who dies and what you go through in the coming year. here's praying its all good and 2006 is a happy and contented year for all of us with the least amount of upheavals. heres hoping the industry prospers, the GDP grows and we all get raises. heres hoping telecom rates further decrease, laptops become more affordable and air travel becomes cheap. heres hoping we can all be with our loved ones all the time especially when they need us no matter where in the world they may be.. heres hoping the world becomes free and oppression is laid to rest and leaders start working for the people..
heres hoping we have hope..
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
Thursday, August 25, 2005
I DID IT! I DID IT!
... with umy's help.. i managed to figure out Flickr.com and got a "badge" as it calls it inserted on the side bar of my Blog YAYYYYYYY!!!
Im so happy, but thats okay cause you are too yayayayayyyyyaaaayyyayyyyayyy (Nirvana) *Singing really LOUDLY
Im so happy, but thats okay cause you are too yayayayayyyyyaaaayyyayyyyayyy *Encore
heheheh
anyway so thats my latest hobby.. uploading nice nice pickytures on flickr wickr.. yayay.. :) * biiig gleeful grin... yayayay...
heheheheh.. ok ok .. i go now... i dont have much to say except.. its raining in karachi and sunny in lahore and im in the wrong city...
do takiay ki naukri mein mera lakhoun ka sawn jaeyy *sing song.. hai hai yeh majboori.. yeh mausam aur yeh dooooori.. ring rung ring rung ring rung rung...
ok ok.. me go now.. oh btw me n me friend anie had breakfast bright and early at 630am at COFFEE TEA & COMPANY.. CAUSE NOW ITS 24 HOURS... I LOVE THEM .. i do. really!.
gotta go
cheerios
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
Im so happy, but thats okay cause you are too yayayayayyyyyaaaayyyayyyyayyy (Nirvana) *Singing really LOUDLY
Im so happy, but thats okay cause you are too yayayayayyyyyaaaayyyayyyyayyy *Encore
heheheh
anyway so thats my latest hobby.. uploading nice nice pickytures on flickr wickr.. yayay.. :) * biiig gleeful grin... yayayay...
heheheheh.. ok ok .. i go now... i dont have much to say except.. its raining in karachi and sunny in lahore and im in the wrong city...
do takiay ki naukri mein mera lakhoun ka sawn jaeyy *sing song.. hai hai yeh majboori.. yeh mausam aur yeh dooooori.. ring rung ring rung ring rung rung...
ok ok.. me go now.. oh btw me n me friend anie had breakfast bright and early at 630am at COFFEE TEA & COMPANY.. CAUSE NOW ITS 24 HOURS... I LOVE THEM .. i do. really!.
gotta go
cheerios
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Photostream
Whats a photostream anyway thats what i'd like to figure out.. went to some blogs..
they had added the flickr.com photostream to the side bar.. i wonder how you do that..
i experimented and now theyre all kind off at the bottom of the page.
hmm..
tudeloo cheeries
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
they had added the flickr.com photostream to the side bar.. i wonder how you do that..
i experimented and now theyre all kind off at the bottom of the page.
hmm..
tudeloo cheeries
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
i think life sucks again...
We have been sucked into a vortex of disgustingness.. i hate it..
its disgusting.. i hate hate hate it..
a feeling of powerlessness and impotence.. to change things according to your own will.. its excruciating and nasty.. and every1 marches to the beat of their own drum.. jeez.. why.. just march.. why do u need a beat.. that too your own.. sometimes you should just march to someone else's.
thats what its about.
aaarrrrrrggggghhhhhh...
theres NOTHING.. NOTHING in our hands.. nothing.. why?
why are there expectations when there is no control..
Why is the world so freaking STUPID!
WHY!
i dont know.. all i know is i have 35 more years to live.. Im being optimistic and adding on an extra 5 just in case.. but the way things are going i'll probably croak at 60..
and for the next 35 years i cant imagine having loose motions and stress attacks.. this isnt what my life was meant to be. I'm not sure what it was meant to be.. but i'm pretty sure this wasnt it.. i think..
sigh sigh..
was it? WAS IT??
maybe it was ... maybe thats why it doesnt get any different.. or easier..
but i hate it.. this cant be it..
i will contemplate and meditate on the logic in the universe.. maybe it shall speak to me..
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
its disgusting.. i hate hate hate it..
a feeling of powerlessness and impotence.. to change things according to your own will.. its excruciating and nasty.. and every1 marches to the beat of their own drum.. jeez.. why.. just march.. why do u need a beat.. that too your own.. sometimes you should just march to someone else's.
thats what its about.
aaarrrrrrggggghhhhhh...
theres NOTHING.. NOTHING in our hands.. nothing.. why?
why are there expectations when there is no control..
Why is the world so freaking STUPID!
WHY!
i dont know.. all i know is i have 35 more years to live.. Im being optimistic and adding on an extra 5 just in case.. but the way things are going i'll probably croak at 60..
and for the next 35 years i cant imagine having loose motions and stress attacks.. this isnt what my life was meant to be. I'm not sure what it was meant to be.. but i'm pretty sure this wasnt it.. i think..
sigh sigh..
was it? WAS IT??
maybe it was ... maybe thats why it doesnt get any different.. or easier..
but i hate it.. this cant be it..
i will contemplate and meditate on the logic in the universe.. maybe it shall speak to me..
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Its raining pancakes
So like yesterday i checked my comments and discovered my friend silly sal was in town (Town = Lahore). which was like .. "AWESOME" coz i was dying to go to that pancake house i'd read about in the Daily Times Photo Spread.
i picked her up from fortress and the two of us went off merrily thinking we knew where Defence Double D (DD) market was. I thought it was the whole stretch right after the Ghazi Chowk roundabout, like i think thats where the planet an all are.. i think?!
So we drove there and we went around, avoided a few misdirected vehicles headed our way and finally had to solicit the mercy of a roadside waiter who told us we were in the entirely incorrect geographic zone. He directed us towards the Y-Block.
So off we went.. merrily so.. bumping along Defence's rollicking roads... and ended up in Y-block. Now i for the life of me couldnt figure out how Y-Block could be classified as the DD Market. So we asked again at an estate agent, a trick i learned in Karachi when trying to find houses in Defence there. He told us to go straight till we got to DD. like Double Duh.. anyway.. desperate as we were for any nourishement whatsoever (it mustve been around 9pm) we pushed off again and got to the DD signal. obviously if you want to find something in DD you should stick to the DD road right.. coz thats where everything should (technically!) be. unfortunately that didnt hold true in this case and when we had driven all the way to the Lesco office heading round circle back to where we had began this journey, i finally swallowed whatever little pride i had left and called my Map-Making Directing-Giving Shining-Light-In-Darkness Savior-of-The-Lost-And-Misdirected Master-of-All-Locations-In-Lahore Colleague (Master Sal) and got some much needed guidance.
So we whizzed around and headed BACK to the DD Signal and this time we went straight down the Y-Block road and came to this REALLY deserted place which a little sign stating "The Pancake Lounge" hanging from it. Turned into the little road and we were at this little deserted desert shop.
You'd like to think this story has a happy ending.. wouldnt you.. WOULDNT YOU?!!!.. of course you would. any normal human being would. But it DOESNT!!
we found the place all right.. the Rs95 bucks a PLAIN PANCAKE place.. with maple syrup of course. I as usual wanted to try the Salty Pancake which the dude told me came with a Salad for RS 140 bucks. No Salad. Apparently the chicken & salad are what goes INTO the pint sized pancake. Now if you've ever had a pancake in Europe (like Holland for example) when you order a Pancake for this wondrous amount you get one the size of a dinner plate. When we inquired what the of the pancake would be, obviously envisioning a dinner plate sized concoction, we were told its the same size as a COOKIE... A COOKIE FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!
At that point however we were hungry enough to ignore the whole scenario and just order the damn things so we did. One ray of sunshine was that their Menu Board stated that "every additional pancake for Rs.45". So we were like cool. we can order more of what we're eating. However, when we tried getting more, we were told oh only the PLAIN PANCAKE IS FOR RS 45. Everything else is the same price. (Also they didnt serve Banana Pancakes which is like.. blasphemous...)
So i sternly informed them that they should clearly state that on the board because its very misleading. I mean like .. oh whatever.. its not like we're EVER going back.. maybe.. i never like closing doors, but it was a sad experience.
Especially since last weekend or the weekend before that i had made pancakes at home, plain & which cheese. and trust me.. neither equated to Rs. 95 to make a pint sized one.
But thats the world of food. i seriously want to open a bakery cum cafe and put in bunk beds & lazy boy black leather chairs.. It would be the coolest.
Just had a run in with SCB Credit Cards. For one they keep charging you Credit Cover & Smart Wallet Charges regardless of whether you've asked for it or not. Then when i had them Cancelled in MAY i am todate receiving not only the charges themselves but also financial charges on the ones i had cancelled. Like HELL man.. So i once AGAIN for like the umpteenth time called the SCB offices yesterday, obviously i got the Lahore Phone Banking people and this gentleman told me that the request wasnt in the system but he'd put it in and it will all be reversed. However i got my August statement today and OHMYGOD MORE OF THE SAME. DAMMIT. So i called up AGAIN. AND this time some dame called Nazia totally pissed me off by telling me it wasnt in the system and while she could send a request for the Credit Cover Charges of Rs. 0.95 like OHMYGOD and the remaining 7-800 bucks i'll just have to foot. LIKE HELL.
Since Lahore SCB Customer Service SUCKS bigtime.. and i dont think its a Lahore phenomenon cause the Alfalah bank guyz rock.. so i called the Khi number and got this nice girl named MaryAnn. She reversed EVERYTHING. Did i mention I'd also sent the whole odyssey in WRITING on the 21st of July to them as well.. anyway she was a sweetheart and i wanted to tell her that she should teach a few things to her colleagues here in the paindo plateaus...
Anwyay, i tried getting pakoras since it started raining here, but to no avail. what the hell yaar.. i miss my railway crossing wala aalo-key pakoray bananey waley gentleman. Those were da bomb. The best damn pakoras ever.. i miss them.. and their masala. and their piping hot taste ... sigh... funny how something never leave the periphery of your memory..
im racking my brains trying to remember what else happened to me. The sad part is i literally have to refer to the calendar to try to place the days & the dates.. its actually sad.
My Naseer dada passed away this Friday. He was my dadijan's 2nd elder brother. Shes 2 brothers and 5 sisters. he was number 2. he was a naval commander in the Pakistan Navy. He loved new music and always made genre collections like Bhangra cassettes and Shadi songs. He kept everything from old wires to pesticide spray in case someone needed it in the future. I remember he once gave me a roller pen roto something german calendar and i fell in love with the colors and the pictures on it. i still remember that.
May Allah grant him a place in heaven..
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
i picked her up from fortress and the two of us went off merrily thinking we knew where Defence Double D (DD) market was. I thought it was the whole stretch right after the Ghazi Chowk roundabout, like i think thats where the planet an all are.. i think?!
So we drove there and we went around, avoided a few misdirected vehicles headed our way and finally had to solicit the mercy of a roadside waiter who told us we were in the entirely incorrect geographic zone. He directed us towards the Y-Block.
So off we went.. merrily so.. bumping along Defence's rollicking roads... and ended up in Y-block. Now i for the life of me couldnt figure out how Y-Block could be classified as the DD Market. So we asked again at an estate agent, a trick i learned in Karachi when trying to find houses in Defence there. He told us to go straight till we got to DD. like Double Duh.. anyway.. desperate as we were for any nourishement whatsoever (it mustve been around 9pm) we pushed off again and got to the DD signal. obviously if you want to find something in DD you should stick to the DD road right.. coz thats where everything should (technically!) be. unfortunately that didnt hold true in this case and when we had driven all the way to the Lesco office heading round circle back to where we had began this journey, i finally swallowed whatever little pride i had left and called my Map-Making Directing-Giving Shining-Light-In-Darkness Savior-of-The-Lost-And-Misdirected Master-of-All-Locations-In-Lahore Colleague (Master Sal) and got some much needed guidance.
So we whizzed around and headed BACK to the DD Signal and this time we went straight down the Y-Block road and came to this REALLY deserted place which a little sign stating "The Pancake Lounge" hanging from it. Turned into the little road and we were at this little deserted desert shop.
You'd like to think this story has a happy ending.. wouldnt you.. WOULDNT YOU?!!!.. of course you would. any normal human being would. But it DOESNT!!
we found the place all right.. the Rs95 bucks a PLAIN PANCAKE place.. with maple syrup of course. I as usual wanted to try the Salty Pancake which the dude told me came with a Salad for RS 140 bucks. No Salad. Apparently the chicken & salad are what goes INTO the pint sized pancake. Now if you've ever had a pancake in Europe (like Holland for example) when you order a Pancake for this wondrous amount you get one the size of a dinner plate. When we inquired what the of the pancake would be, obviously envisioning a dinner plate sized concoction, we were told its the same size as a COOKIE... A COOKIE FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!
At that point however we were hungry enough to ignore the whole scenario and just order the damn things so we did. One ray of sunshine was that their Menu Board stated that "every additional pancake for Rs.45". So we were like cool. we can order more of what we're eating. However, when we tried getting more, we were told oh only the PLAIN PANCAKE IS FOR RS 45. Everything else is the same price. (Also they didnt serve Banana Pancakes which is like.. blasphemous...)
So i sternly informed them that they should clearly state that on the board because its very misleading. I mean like .. oh whatever.. its not like we're EVER going back.. maybe.. i never like closing doors, but it was a sad experience.
Especially since last weekend or the weekend before that i had made pancakes at home, plain & which cheese. and trust me.. neither equated to Rs. 95 to make a pint sized one.
But thats the world of food. i seriously want to open a bakery cum cafe and put in bunk beds & lazy boy black leather chairs.. It would be the coolest.
Just had a run in with SCB Credit Cards. For one they keep charging you Credit Cover & Smart Wallet Charges regardless of whether you've asked for it or not. Then when i had them Cancelled in MAY i am todate receiving not only the charges themselves but also financial charges on the ones i had cancelled. Like HELL man.. So i once AGAIN for like the umpteenth time called the SCB offices yesterday, obviously i got the Lahore Phone Banking people and this gentleman told me that the request wasnt in the system but he'd put it in and it will all be reversed. However i got my August statement today and OHMYGOD MORE OF THE SAME. DAMMIT. So i called up AGAIN. AND this time some dame called Nazia totally pissed me off by telling me it wasnt in the system and while she could send a request for the Credit Cover Charges of Rs. 0.95 like OHMYGOD and the remaining 7-800 bucks i'll just have to foot. LIKE HELL.
Since Lahore SCB Customer Service SUCKS bigtime.. and i dont think its a Lahore phenomenon cause the Alfalah bank guyz rock.. so i called the Khi number and got this nice girl named MaryAnn. She reversed EVERYTHING. Did i mention I'd also sent the whole odyssey in WRITING on the 21st of July to them as well.. anyway she was a sweetheart and i wanted to tell her that she should teach a few things to her colleagues here in the paindo plateaus...
Anwyay, i tried getting pakoras since it started raining here, but to no avail. what the hell yaar.. i miss my railway crossing wala aalo-key pakoray bananey waley gentleman. Those were da bomb. The best damn pakoras ever.. i miss them.. and their masala. and their piping hot taste ... sigh... funny how something never leave the periphery of your memory..
im racking my brains trying to remember what else happened to me. The sad part is i literally have to refer to the calendar to try to place the days & the dates.. its actually sad.
My Naseer dada passed away this Friday. He was my dadijan's 2nd elder brother. Shes 2 brothers and 5 sisters. he was number 2. he was a naval commander in the Pakistan Navy. He loved new music and always made genre collections like Bhangra cassettes and Shadi songs. He kept everything from old wires to pesticide spray in case someone needed it in the future. I remember he once gave me a roller pen roto something german calendar and i fell in love with the colors and the pictures on it. i still remember that.
May Allah grant him a place in heaven..
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
the battle is won
I just had the longest most arduous cyberspace battle today with a sneaky little search bar from searchweb2.com. it was soooo irritating. it kept installing desk top icons, irrititaing pop ads, search bars galore til i was forced to go through my ENTIRE hard drive, program files, program setting and the entire windows registry, system folders, temp files, etc. all in an attempt to REMOVE the damn thing.
And then i realized the ultimate truth. If i was going through this someone else must have already gone through this and VOILA i was RIGHT.
after googling the damn thing, i realized there were three or four different solutions. tried the simplest one and OHMYGOD it worked. I rock man. ok no. google rocks man. and all those people who look to cyberspace for help. they all rock man.
another nice thing that happened was that i managed to get online on Huqa.com finally. just wanted to see what the damn site was about and it hadnt let me log on til now. its nice. its another orkut. Unfortunately i think orkut has that 1st mover advantage and i dont think i want to shift from that in the long run. its very nice and simple. i like the simple interface. the nice thing in huqa.com was the peanuts. i kinda liked the idea of peanuts and giving gits :)
thats cute. anyway, the weather in lahore is back to the heat. i dunno why it keeps hopping back and forth its very irritating. but its something we have to deal with.
Karachi was beautiful this last weekend. the skies were cloudy. we visited the sea shore near paradise and it was glorious.
the personal front was cloudy too.. one of our family elders is under medical care and we're hoping and praying for a positive and healthy outcome for him.
my return was an odyssey. i was booted off my flight at 5am in the morning since they were overloaded. i slept on the nice airline flat sofas behind the paramount book stall near the ticketing counter. at 7am a bunch of us waited around for the 8am on chance. except 110% of the people confirmed for the flight showed up. so we were all left hanging. finally i lost it and looked around to see what the next available flight was to ANYWHERE. luckily i spotted Faisalabad at 10am and got on chance on that one.
That was lucky break since i already had business in Faisalabad so it all worked out. At this juncture i would like to highly commend the gentleman at the no baggage counter Mr. Asif Ali at the PIA counter who went out of his way to help me and another gentleman every way he could. he issued our boarding passes, constantly followed up with the supervisor to check if the flight was closed so he could board us, guided us as to the extra payments. In between all of that we had a discussion about how he wanted to do his MBA and study further. Very commendable.
Anyway after that whole night of transit, my faisalabad sojourn went very well and after lunch we drove back to Lahore. Suffice it to say that i remember very little of that journey since i was sleeping through most of it. landed at the offices and life continued down familiar paths..
that was that.. sigh.. is this all there is.. i think im tired :)
take care kiddies
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
And then i realized the ultimate truth. If i was going through this someone else must have already gone through this and VOILA i was RIGHT.
after googling the damn thing, i realized there were three or four different solutions. tried the simplest one and OHMYGOD it worked. I rock man. ok no. google rocks man. and all those people who look to cyberspace for help. they all rock man.
another nice thing that happened was that i managed to get online on Huqa.com finally. just wanted to see what the damn site was about and it hadnt let me log on til now. its nice. its another orkut. Unfortunately i think orkut has that 1st mover advantage and i dont think i want to shift from that in the long run. its very nice and simple. i like the simple interface. the nice thing in huqa.com was the peanuts. i kinda liked the idea of peanuts and giving gits :)
thats cute. anyway, the weather in lahore is back to the heat. i dunno why it keeps hopping back and forth its very irritating. but its something we have to deal with.
Karachi was beautiful this last weekend. the skies were cloudy. we visited the sea shore near paradise and it was glorious.
the personal front was cloudy too.. one of our family elders is under medical care and we're hoping and praying for a positive and healthy outcome for him.
my return was an odyssey. i was booted off my flight at 5am in the morning since they were overloaded. i slept on the nice airline flat sofas behind the paramount book stall near the ticketing counter. at 7am a bunch of us waited around for the 8am on chance. except 110% of the people confirmed for the flight showed up. so we were all left hanging. finally i lost it and looked around to see what the next available flight was to ANYWHERE. luckily i spotted Faisalabad at 10am and got on chance on that one.
That was lucky break since i already had business in Faisalabad so it all worked out. At this juncture i would like to highly commend the gentleman at the no baggage counter Mr. Asif Ali at the PIA counter who went out of his way to help me and another gentleman every way he could. he issued our boarding passes, constantly followed up with the supervisor to check if the flight was closed so he could board us, guided us as to the extra payments. In between all of that we had a discussion about how he wanted to do his MBA and study further. Very commendable.
Anyway after that whole night of transit, my faisalabad sojourn went very well and after lunch we drove back to Lahore. Suffice it to say that i remember very little of that journey since i was sleeping through most of it. landed at the offices and life continued down familiar paths..
that was that.. sigh.. is this all there is.. i think im tired :)
take care kiddies
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
Thursday, July 28, 2005
oh boy oh boy oh boy *quizzical look
Its amazing. I recently discovered that I could email to my blog from just about anywhere and it would be posted and in order to celebrate that knowledge. I did just the opposite. I just disappeared for a long long stretch.
I really don’t know why I do that.
I guess it’s the “what comes easy will not be appreciated” syndrome. I wonder why that happens. All of a sudden it became cloudy in Lahore. I think. I cant even tell the weather anymore ensconced in the 4x4 walls of my cell J I think there’s a movie by that name as well. I think there’s a movie by every name out there. I feel the need to reach out and touch some lives. Orkut to the rescue.. *bleep… bad, bad server. No donut for you… bleep* great !
Now nothing works.
Ohmygoodness
I feel cut off from the world
From reality
From human existence
Ohmygoodness
All because of one malfunctioning server
What do I do
What do I do
Bhuuuuwwwwaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Oh dear oh my..
Sigh sigh sigh
Anyway ive just discovered bit torrents. I actually discovered them a while back as well but had no clue what to do with em so I let it go. Somehow I cant seem to keep a connection going for very long and the modem connections are only going so far.
I keep feeling somewhat all over the place. Its slightly sucky. And a bit sad. Cause I found out something that made me sad. Very sad. Sniff sniff sad. Ive always hated it when there are changes and you have to miss something that was previously an inherent part of your environment. But as they keep telling me.. the only thing constant is change.. yeah whatever. It’s a nice lingo but it sucks nonetheless.
I think the suns come out again. Its not often I get to see it. I think im going to be a hermit in my future existence and develop a healthy revulsion for sunlight. As it is I never get to see it. Its fun. Hmmm.. I am me… that’s who I am. I will not change.
I guess that’s the trick. In all this constant change the only thing you can actually rely on to be consistent is yourself. And I intend on holding onto me.. as in the person that I am with all my might and power. I am a damn nice person. And while I think sometimes that I have come across the scum of human debris I can still rise above the nasty feeling of disgust and look at it with sympathy rather than apathy. That’s a whole lotta meaning in one statement. But seriously… what do you do when you realize that the beings around you are less than the premium quality you would look for before inducting their existence in your already cluttered world.
I have already come across examples where I have decided against anything further than perfunctory how-dos. But its seriously trying.. like having to hold your nose amidst a pile of stinky smelly stuff. Makes you wonder about what logic you’re trying to sell yourself for placing yourself in such a position in the first place. I guess it’s the whole “I’ll compromise to an extent” logic. But why yaar… why?
Why would you want to be in a situation where you’re constantly watching your back?
Isn’t there more to life than just worrying about being stabbed and slaughtered in the shark pool?
What’s the whole idea in the poor working class having to put up with the bullshit of having ridiculously self-obsessed cretins around them whose only objective in life is to further their own Machiavellian interests at the cost of their humanity and others peace of mind?
I think we as individuals.. those amongst us who are laid back peaceful people… just take too much shit and don’t shovel enough out. But in retrospect at the end of the day that’s what makes us the happy joyful losers that we are. And I sincerely believe that at the bitter end as we watch others sail off into the sunset of their misbegotten achievements… we shall have the last laugh.. cause God’s on our side. So there. Take that you infidels.
I am happy. And joyful. Mashallah. And no one.. I mean NO ONE can keep me down for longer than 20 minutes. Unless you really piss me off.. in which case I wont be joyful till I’ve drawn your blood and painted graffiti with it. That only happens to me once or twice a year. But people should seriously try not to piss me off. It’s a piss off when they do.
Oh well… I guess we all have to deal with shit sometimes. Its part and parcel. The only saving grace is to keep detergent handy to wash away the stains and start anew with bright and nice smelling outfits. J
Take care kiddy poos
Cheerios
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
I really don’t know why I do that.
I guess it’s the “what comes easy will not be appreciated” syndrome. I wonder why that happens. All of a sudden it became cloudy in Lahore. I think. I cant even tell the weather anymore ensconced in the 4x4 walls of my cell J I think there’s a movie by that name as well. I think there’s a movie by every name out there. I feel the need to reach out and touch some lives. Orkut to the rescue.. *bleep… bad, bad server. No donut for you… bleep* great !
Now nothing works.
Ohmygoodness
I feel cut off from the world
From reality
From human existence
Ohmygoodness
All because of one malfunctioning server
What do I do
What do I do
Bhuuuuwwwwaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Oh dear oh my..
Sigh sigh sigh
Anyway ive just discovered bit torrents. I actually discovered them a while back as well but had no clue what to do with em so I let it go. Somehow I cant seem to keep a connection going for very long and the modem connections are only going so far.
I keep feeling somewhat all over the place. Its slightly sucky. And a bit sad. Cause I found out something that made me sad. Very sad. Sniff sniff sad. Ive always hated it when there are changes and you have to miss something that was previously an inherent part of your environment. But as they keep telling me.. the only thing constant is change.. yeah whatever. It’s a nice lingo but it sucks nonetheless.
I think the suns come out again. Its not often I get to see it. I think im going to be a hermit in my future existence and develop a healthy revulsion for sunlight. As it is I never get to see it. Its fun. Hmmm.. I am me… that’s who I am. I will not change.
I guess that’s the trick. In all this constant change the only thing you can actually rely on to be consistent is yourself. And I intend on holding onto me.. as in the person that I am with all my might and power. I am a damn nice person. And while I think sometimes that I have come across the scum of human debris I can still rise above the nasty feeling of disgust and look at it with sympathy rather than apathy. That’s a whole lotta meaning in one statement. But seriously… what do you do when you realize that the beings around you are less than the premium quality you would look for before inducting their existence in your already cluttered world.
I have already come across examples where I have decided against anything further than perfunctory how-dos. But its seriously trying.. like having to hold your nose amidst a pile of stinky smelly stuff. Makes you wonder about what logic you’re trying to sell yourself for placing yourself in such a position in the first place. I guess it’s the whole “I’ll compromise to an extent” logic. But why yaar… why?
Why would you want to be in a situation where you’re constantly watching your back?
Isn’t there more to life than just worrying about being stabbed and slaughtered in the shark pool?
What’s the whole idea in the poor working class having to put up with the bullshit of having ridiculously self-obsessed cretins around them whose only objective in life is to further their own Machiavellian interests at the cost of their humanity and others peace of mind?
I think we as individuals.. those amongst us who are laid back peaceful people… just take too much shit and don’t shovel enough out. But in retrospect at the end of the day that’s what makes us the happy joyful losers that we are. And I sincerely believe that at the bitter end as we watch others sail off into the sunset of their misbegotten achievements… we shall have the last laugh.. cause God’s on our side. So there. Take that you infidels.
I am happy. And joyful. Mashallah. And no one.. I mean NO ONE can keep me down for longer than 20 minutes. Unless you really piss me off.. in which case I wont be joyful till I’ve drawn your blood and painted graffiti with it. That only happens to me once or twice a year. But people should seriously try not to piss me off. It’s a piss off when they do.
Oh well… I guess we all have to deal with shit sometimes. Its part and parcel. The only saving grace is to keep detergent handy to wash away the stains and start anew with bright and nice smelling outfits. J
Take care kiddy poos
Cheerios
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Reality strikes once more....
Life is funny... i realize that i've lost all semblance of the honesty of expression i used to display in the past. atleast im honest enough to admit that..
life is funny... there are many things that have happened in the past year and a half that have taken my breath away and made me thank the Lord Almighty for blessing us so many times over.. i feel blessed to the very core of my being..
whether its for him lowering the airline fares making my commuting lighter on the wallet, whether its him introducing new means of communications, whether its him blessing us with understanding love and support.. ive been blessed over and over again.. mashallah..
And sitting here right now over the rooftops of another coastal city.. in a slightly sterile yet comfortable hotel room, i realize that i'm not doing him or myself justice by holding back whatever honesty i have within me.. as usual its not in my control if you judge me.. it doesnt matter if you agree with me.. all that matters is that i had my say.. :)
the Lord works in mysterious ways.. ive had so many examples of his bounty that i am humbled beyond words.. i wont explain the ways and means that he has enlightened me with.. even with all my faith i am still wary of human nature and nazar lagaofication.. Allah mian humain apney hifz o aman mein rakhay..
But for all of you out there who feel even slightly abandoned or miffed with the big guy.. trust me... its just a matter of time before he lets you know the infinite ways in which you are already blessed.. you just have to open your eyes and take a look around.
There have been moments when i have doubted my self.. my abilities to perform my tasks in the different arenas of life... as a human being.. there have been moments when i have been low.. there have been moments where i have snuck into bathrooms and cried my eyes out and come out feeling much lighter.. but at the end of the day when i sit down to count my blessings i end up losing count.. MashAllah..
I challenge any of you to do the same and trust me when you start you'll realize the truth of what i'm talking about.
I'm at another juncture in my life where ive reached a whole new state of mind. its called peaceful contentment. sometimes nothing fazes me out... i think i would attribute this to the positive influence of my colleague next door.. i would count him as a blessing too.. its Gods way of telling me that people can be calm cool & collected and still manage to get all their work done so i should follow suit..
i still dont put any stock in what the world has to say about anything. Its still my life and will be lived according to Gods will and whatever i decide to do with it. i still have a very firm shield against heresay and random barbs shot out from the world at random. I neither encourage this nor participate in it.
And i am still.. for all its worth... happy within the deepest recesses of my soul.. because deep inside i am secure in the knowledge that all that matters is between me and my God.. and no one elses judgements thoughts whims or maliciousness has the power to alter the course of my life as charted out by the Almighty... and with that belief i am forever free..
I've said it before and i'll say it this once again.. you make yourself whatever you want to be. there are no have-to's in life.. only what we convince ourselves we need to do in order to be good in the eyes of the world. The world will always look at its gain first and you last. only you can guide your destiny.. only you can chart your path and make sure it means something.. and sometimes it doesnt have to mean anything.. just as long as you live happy and die happy and havent hurt anyone in between those two points. thats a good life lived..
Micheal jackson may be a funny man.. but in the "Man in the mirror" he captured what so many of us refuse to acknowledge every morning we wake up..
im looking at the man in the mirror
i'm asking him to make a change
cause no message could have been any clearer
if you want to make the world
a better place
take a look at yourself
and make a.... change..
take care kids.. and today.. do something honest..
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
life is funny... there are many things that have happened in the past year and a half that have taken my breath away and made me thank the Lord Almighty for blessing us so many times over.. i feel blessed to the very core of my being..
whether its for him lowering the airline fares making my commuting lighter on the wallet, whether its him introducing new means of communications, whether its him blessing us with understanding love and support.. ive been blessed over and over again.. mashallah..
And sitting here right now over the rooftops of another coastal city.. in a slightly sterile yet comfortable hotel room, i realize that i'm not doing him or myself justice by holding back whatever honesty i have within me.. as usual its not in my control if you judge me.. it doesnt matter if you agree with me.. all that matters is that i had my say.. :)
the Lord works in mysterious ways.. ive had so many examples of his bounty that i am humbled beyond words.. i wont explain the ways and means that he has enlightened me with.. even with all my faith i am still wary of human nature and nazar lagaofication.. Allah mian humain apney hifz o aman mein rakhay..
But for all of you out there who feel even slightly abandoned or miffed with the big guy.. trust me... its just a matter of time before he lets you know the infinite ways in which you are already blessed.. you just have to open your eyes and take a look around.
There have been moments when i have doubted my self.. my abilities to perform my tasks in the different arenas of life... as a human being.. there have been moments when i have been low.. there have been moments where i have snuck into bathrooms and cried my eyes out and come out feeling much lighter.. but at the end of the day when i sit down to count my blessings i end up losing count.. MashAllah..
I challenge any of you to do the same and trust me when you start you'll realize the truth of what i'm talking about.
I'm at another juncture in my life where ive reached a whole new state of mind. its called peaceful contentment. sometimes nothing fazes me out... i think i would attribute this to the positive influence of my colleague next door.. i would count him as a blessing too.. its Gods way of telling me that people can be calm cool & collected and still manage to get all their work done so i should follow suit..
i still dont put any stock in what the world has to say about anything. Its still my life and will be lived according to Gods will and whatever i decide to do with it. i still have a very firm shield against heresay and random barbs shot out from the world at random. I neither encourage this nor participate in it.
And i am still.. for all its worth... happy within the deepest recesses of my soul.. because deep inside i am secure in the knowledge that all that matters is between me and my God.. and no one elses judgements thoughts whims or maliciousness has the power to alter the course of my life as charted out by the Almighty... and with that belief i am forever free..
I've said it before and i'll say it this once again.. you make yourself whatever you want to be. there are no have-to's in life.. only what we convince ourselves we need to do in order to be good in the eyes of the world. The world will always look at its gain first and you last. only you can guide your destiny.. only you can chart your path and make sure it means something.. and sometimes it doesnt have to mean anything.. just as long as you live happy and die happy and havent hurt anyone in between those two points. thats a good life lived..
Micheal jackson may be a funny man.. but in the "Man in the mirror" he captured what so many of us refuse to acknowledge every morning we wake up..
im looking at the man in the mirror
i'm asking him to make a change
cause no message could have been any clearer
if you want to make the world
a better place
take a look at yourself
and make a.... change..
take care kids.. and today.. do something honest..
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
Sunday, July 17, 2005
THIS BLOG IS NOT DEAD! :p
I had a really nice weekend.. i know ive been gone for a while.. but seriously guyz.. its not like any of you missed my incoherent ramblings anyways.. some of you may have :) which gives me a nice warm feeling in the pit of my tummy :)...
well for better or worse i'm back so deal with it.
And i had a really nice weekend. the biggest thing that happened was that I HAVE JUST FINISHED READING HARRY POTTER & THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE. YEEEEHAWWWWWWWWW.. i bought it the day it was released bright and early saturday morning from Paramount next to Aghas.
And i have this kid i met on a plane on friday to thank for it. Story goes.. i was on the flight to karachi and was sitting next to this 18 year old kid who was voraciously devouring as many newspapers as the air hostess could get for him. He'd just finished Dawn and moved on to the daily times when i saw a really small article on the side while shamelessly reading over his shoulder. The words Harry Potter caught my eye and when he started reading Wikkid i slightly moved the newspaper and asked to read the said piece which turned out to be a tirade against JK Rowling stating a blurring of lines between good & evil in her books. Thats when the kid told me that the Half Blood Prince was going to be released tomorrow (saturday) at Liberty books & Aghas and i could reserve a copy there.
At first i thought he was kidding. I mean i had just been raving about the whole Movies being released next door at the same time as in the US and here i was hearing that the biggest most anticipated book of the century (as you can see im quite potty over potter) was being released simultaneously in our great great country ... after the initial increduality and stupefication wore off i was quite pleasantly euphoric.
The kid in question turned out to be a really young looking 26 year old engineer/ex-investment banker now going into buyouts & outsourcing. I tell you kids today are really with it man. We had an interesting hours worth of conversation about business, harry potter, career choices, travel stress, etc. BUt the highlight of the whole encounter was that today i am sittin here after having FINISHED the latest installment of Harry Potter... YEEEEEHAAWWWWWWWWWWW...
Surprisingly the latest installment wasn't as dark and dreary as the Last two or as long. i think the goblet of fire & the order of the phoenix were a bit daunting in sheer size but this one was fluid. In fact i think it actually left me wanting more. i admit im not too happy with the whole dumbledore biting the dust phenomenon.. yeah yeah for those of you who just whacked yourselves on the head for reading my blog before you read the book... LOSERS... ure probably the last few people on earth who havent read it yet.
But otherwise life is good... im in a very happy place. I have this funny feeling of achievement which is directly attributable to the fact that Harry Potter was released in Pakistan at the same time as it was everywhere else across the world. I know i had absolutely nothing to do with it. But the simultaneous release of War of the Worlds and Harry Potter at the same time as the global release has somehow given me a funny sense of hope in these funny funny times of doubt and dreariness. somehow it just felt.. right.
On another flight from Isloo (stuck in economy and thanking God for it.. its tough getting a seat on this sector.. much less a busines class seat).. anyway i ws sitting next to this nice gentleman and the nice gentleman was using Warid which surprised me a bit since i didnt realize the penetration was up by that much.. so i did the prudent thing & asked him why he shifted to Warid.. If the deal was good enough i would have immediately shifted myself. He responded with a "i didnt have a choice with the matter but im very happy with the service". Turned out he was senior mgmt at Warid and they had some really big plans. Good for the consumer i say.
As he was a newly relocated family man to Lahore, i had all the sympathies in the world for him except not having had the euphoric experience of living in Karachi, i guess him & his family have a chance of having a relatively happy life in Lahore. Ahem... not that Lahore's a bad place to be these days.. i mean apart from the stifling stuffiness sometimes, when it rains its paradise for me.
But Karachi... ahhh... nothing can beat Karachi baby.. all wind no rain, but you still have air to breathe.. albiet polluted and less than the highest standard of pureness but airs air man.. you cant be so choosy about everything in life..
or can you /? eyebrow raised.. i think my one eyelid is larger than the other.. i prolly shouldnt say this here.. anyone reading this will forever after be staring at my eyelids.. well.. i always knew i wasnt a model or anything but its freaky having two different dimensions of eyelids.. i think its because i raise one eyebrow so thats developed stronger muscles as opposed to the other one... hmm... is there a cure for this..
i digress.. i actually have had plenty of moments of inspiration but no inclination to pen it all down.. i forgot how easy it was to write in notepad.. thats what i have resorted to now.. because the internet connection sucks most of the time.. it was interesting to note that GPRS on the phone was actually quite efficient and i was pleasantly surprised.. but at the end of the day a keyboard is a keyboard and i like my keyboard.
I am mortally sick of handsfrees.. i mean i think ive gone through about 10 jaali handsfrees for the nokia 9500 by now.. and its not ending anytime soon.. i am perfectly sick of the whole handsfree phenomenon... aaaaaaaarrrrggghhhh.. why cant the handsfrees works.. ok.. thats way too many s'ss in that one sentence...
Ok i be off me darlin's
Cheerios
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
well for better or worse i'm back so deal with it.
And i had a really nice weekend. the biggest thing that happened was that I HAVE JUST FINISHED READING HARRY POTTER & THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE. YEEEEHAWWWWWWWWW.. i bought it the day it was released bright and early saturday morning from Paramount next to Aghas.
And i have this kid i met on a plane on friday to thank for it. Story goes.. i was on the flight to karachi and was sitting next to this 18 year old kid who was voraciously devouring as many newspapers as the air hostess could get for him. He'd just finished Dawn and moved on to the daily times when i saw a really small article on the side while shamelessly reading over his shoulder. The words Harry Potter caught my eye and when he started reading Wikkid i slightly moved the newspaper and asked to read the said piece which turned out to be a tirade against JK Rowling stating a blurring of lines between good & evil in her books. Thats when the kid told me that the Half Blood Prince was going to be released tomorrow (saturday) at Liberty books & Aghas and i could reserve a copy there.
At first i thought he was kidding. I mean i had just been raving about the whole Movies being released next door at the same time as in the US and here i was hearing that the biggest most anticipated book of the century (as you can see im quite potty over potter) was being released simultaneously in our great great country ... after the initial increduality and stupefication wore off i was quite pleasantly euphoric.
The kid in question turned out to be a really young looking 26 year old engineer/ex-investment banker now going into buyouts & outsourcing. I tell you kids today are really with it man. We had an interesting hours worth of conversation about business, harry potter, career choices, travel stress, etc. BUt the highlight of the whole encounter was that today i am sittin here after having FINISHED the latest installment of Harry Potter... YEEEEEHAAWWWWWWWWWWW...
Surprisingly the latest installment wasn't as dark and dreary as the Last two or as long. i think the goblet of fire & the order of the phoenix were a bit daunting in sheer size but this one was fluid. In fact i think it actually left me wanting more. i admit im not too happy with the whole dumbledore biting the dust phenomenon.. yeah yeah for those of you who just whacked yourselves on the head for reading my blog before you read the book... LOSERS... ure probably the last few people on earth who havent read it yet.
But otherwise life is good... im in a very happy place. I have this funny feeling of achievement which is directly attributable to the fact that Harry Potter was released in Pakistan at the same time as it was everywhere else across the world. I know i had absolutely nothing to do with it. But the simultaneous release of War of the Worlds and Harry Potter at the same time as the global release has somehow given me a funny sense of hope in these funny funny times of doubt and dreariness. somehow it just felt.. right.
On another flight from Isloo (stuck in economy and thanking God for it.. its tough getting a seat on this sector.. much less a busines class seat).. anyway i ws sitting next to this nice gentleman and the nice gentleman was using Warid which surprised me a bit since i didnt realize the penetration was up by that much.. so i did the prudent thing & asked him why he shifted to Warid.. If the deal was good enough i would have immediately shifted myself. He responded with a "i didnt have a choice with the matter but im very happy with the service". Turned out he was senior mgmt at Warid and they had some really big plans. Good for the consumer i say.
As he was a newly relocated family man to Lahore, i had all the sympathies in the world for him except not having had the euphoric experience of living in Karachi, i guess him & his family have a chance of having a relatively happy life in Lahore. Ahem... not that Lahore's a bad place to be these days.. i mean apart from the stifling stuffiness sometimes, when it rains its paradise for me.
But Karachi... ahhh... nothing can beat Karachi baby.. all wind no rain, but you still have air to breathe.. albiet polluted and less than the highest standard of pureness but airs air man.. you cant be so choosy about everything in life..
or can you /? eyebrow raised.. i think my one eyelid is larger than the other.. i prolly shouldnt say this here.. anyone reading this will forever after be staring at my eyelids.. well.. i always knew i wasnt a model or anything but its freaky having two different dimensions of eyelids.. i think its because i raise one eyebrow so thats developed stronger muscles as opposed to the other one... hmm... is there a cure for this..
i digress.. i actually have had plenty of moments of inspiration but no inclination to pen it all down.. i forgot how easy it was to write in notepad.. thats what i have resorted to now.. because the internet connection sucks most of the time.. it was interesting to note that GPRS on the phone was actually quite efficient and i was pleasantly surprised.. but at the end of the day a keyboard is a keyboard and i like my keyboard.
I am mortally sick of handsfrees.. i mean i think ive gone through about 10 jaali handsfrees for the nokia 9500 by now.. and its not ending anytime soon.. i am perfectly sick of the whole handsfree phenomenon... aaaaaaaarrrrggghhhh.. why cant the handsfrees works.. ok.. thats way too many s'ss in that one sentence...
Ok i be off me darlin's
Cheerios
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
aaaaaaarrrrrrggggghhhh
sometimes life can really hit you hard.
i hate reality. i hate all the connotations of reality.
i hate everything that it personifies, everything it
stands for. EVERYTHING... i HATE EVERYTHING!!!!
this is purging of the highest order.. purging the soul
of all the venom inside.. of all my rage and my anger
at the world.. at the hypocrisy it harbors... at the
deceit it veils.. the justification of its inherent meaness..
i hate it..
i hate people.. i hate their contempt. i hate their speculation. i hate the way they think they have the God-Given right to stand and pass judgement on others.. i hate that sometimes i become a part of those hordes by standing by silently and not condemning what they do..
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH....
I'm happy.. AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH....
this is just purging... just purging.. nothing more.. AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....
I hope anyone who dares to bear me and my own any illwill is disintegrated by the wrath of the Almighty where they stand..
feeling quite vindictive..
I hate people who think they can question other peoples lives.. they forget the bloody glass houses saying.. makes one want to caste some bloody boulders and watch the whole damn thing tinkle into oblivion.
Sighhhhhh.. i feel better now :)
Cheerios
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
i hate reality. i hate all the connotations of reality.
i hate everything that it personifies, everything it
stands for. EVERYTHING... i HATE EVERYTHING!!!!
this is purging of the highest order.. purging the soul
of all the venom inside.. of all my rage and my anger
at the world.. at the hypocrisy it harbors... at the
deceit it veils.. the justification of its inherent meaness..
i hate it..
i hate people.. i hate their contempt. i hate their speculation. i hate the way they think they have the God-Given right to stand and pass judgement on others.. i hate that sometimes i become a part of those hordes by standing by silently and not condemning what they do..
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH....
I'm happy.. AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH....
this is just purging... just purging.. nothing more.. AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....
I hope anyone who dares to bear me and my own any illwill is disintegrated by the wrath of the Almighty where they stand..
feeling quite vindictive..
I hate people who think they can question other peoples lives.. they forget the bloody glass houses saying.. makes one want to caste some bloody boulders and watch the whole damn thing tinkle into oblivion.
Sighhhhhh.. i feel better now :)
Cheerios
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
Thursday, March 10, 2005
i thought life was perfect
but it never is really.. theres always a dose of reality sneaking about round a corner.. and it hits you as hard as falling 165ft and striking the placid surface of a lake at breakneck speed.
the day is very very nice.. its soft and gray with a cloud cover and a soft drizzle and the last of the winter chill waiting to bid us adieu..
i can hear birds outside inspite of my permanently clogged ears. Im worried about my ears. I feel i shall be saying the same statement when i'm 50 with a hearing capacity not worth mentioning. As it is im difficult to converse with. its an experience that requires alot of patience.
I have a headache. somehow i feel ... fat. no wise ass quips now. its a serious issue. i feel very... shall we say... unfit. theres a polite word for you. And somehow i cant be pushed to do much about it. dammit. sigh. ugh.
I think i miss the ocean. Smelly as it is. i Miss it. i hate the way the sand creeps into your air, the way the sea breeze whips your locks around till they look like a tangled broom. i really dont have much to say about the world at large right now.
I am idealistic. I always have been. I view the world through the lenses of illusion, always hoping against hope that perfection as i would perceive it does exist in this world. Whether i am disappointed or not is not the question. What matters is that i believed in the first place.
I dont think ambition is necessarily a good thing. I believe it holds people back from being happy in the moment. They start living for the future, for how rosy it shall be someday and in the process make every today a bleak unfulfilled reality. Its sad.
I think i'm a contradiction in terms. I can plan out things as dumb as the color of my room 5 years into the future but nothing that actually matters. Because that scares me. I need tea and cookies. I need to mindlessly munch on my soggy solitude. sighhhhh....
ahhhh... sigh ... sweet bliss... rush of mini endorphins... *blank smile on face... suddenly life seems good again...
uh oh.. i think i'm addicted to carbohydrates and caffiene... heheh..
the sun just came out. Its falling softly againt the blinds in my cell block window :) It really looks like one of those cell block windows. lol.. its like 2ft in height and 4 ft in width.. they mustve jailed something here before me :)..
i dont like the sun somehow.. i dunno... i like me though... i think.. sometimes when i dont know me too well.. i like me.. then i remember me the way i am.. its a rude awakening.. sigh sigh...
Every now and then
We find a special friend
who never lets us down...
Who understands it all
reaches out each time we fall
you're the best friend i have found...
I know you can't stay
a part of you will never ever go away
your heart will stay.....
I'll make a wish for you,
and hope it will come true,
if life will just be kind,
to such a gentle mind,
if you lose your way,
think back on yesturday
remember me this way,
remember me this way.
I don't need eyes to see
the love you bring to me,
no matter where I go
and I know that you'll be there
forever-more a part of me and everywhere
I'll always care.....
I'll make a wish for you
and hope it will come true,
if life will just be kind,
to such a gentle mind,
and if you lose your way
think back on yesturday
remember me this way,
remember me this way.
and I'll be right behind your shoulder,watching you
I'll be standing by your side, all you do
and I won't ever leave
as long as you believe,
you just believe....
I'll make a wish for you
and hope it will come true
if life will just be kind
to such a gentle mind
and if you lose your way
think back on yesturday
remember me this way
remember me this way.
o.....
this way.(Remember Me This Way, Jordan McNight)
Theres this relatively new band.. i think theyve been around for a year now.. and i really liked this song too..
"Perfect"
Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect (Perfect, Simple Plan)
take care all
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
the day is very very nice.. its soft and gray with a cloud cover and a soft drizzle and the last of the winter chill waiting to bid us adieu..
i can hear birds outside inspite of my permanently clogged ears. Im worried about my ears. I feel i shall be saying the same statement when i'm 50 with a hearing capacity not worth mentioning. As it is im difficult to converse with. its an experience that requires alot of patience.
I have a headache. somehow i feel ... fat. no wise ass quips now. its a serious issue. i feel very... shall we say... unfit. theres a polite word for you. And somehow i cant be pushed to do much about it. dammit. sigh. ugh.
I think i miss the ocean. Smelly as it is. i Miss it. i hate the way the sand creeps into your air, the way the sea breeze whips your locks around till they look like a tangled broom. i really dont have much to say about the world at large right now.
I am idealistic. I always have been. I view the world through the lenses of illusion, always hoping against hope that perfection as i would perceive it does exist in this world. Whether i am disappointed or not is not the question. What matters is that i believed in the first place.
I dont think ambition is necessarily a good thing. I believe it holds people back from being happy in the moment. They start living for the future, for how rosy it shall be someday and in the process make every today a bleak unfulfilled reality. Its sad.
I think i'm a contradiction in terms. I can plan out things as dumb as the color of my room 5 years into the future but nothing that actually matters. Because that scares me. I need tea and cookies. I need to mindlessly munch on my soggy solitude. sighhhhh....
ahhhh... sigh ... sweet bliss... rush of mini endorphins... *blank smile on face... suddenly life seems good again...
uh oh.. i think i'm addicted to carbohydrates and caffiene... heheh..
the sun just came out. Its falling softly againt the blinds in my cell block window :) It really looks like one of those cell block windows. lol.. its like 2ft in height and 4 ft in width.. they mustve jailed something here before me :)..
i dont like the sun somehow.. i dunno... i like me though... i think.. sometimes when i dont know me too well.. i like me.. then i remember me the way i am.. its a rude awakening.. sigh sigh...
Every now and then
We find a special friend
who never lets us down...
Who understands it all
reaches out each time we fall
you're the best friend i have found...
I know you can't stay
a part of you will never ever go away
your heart will stay.....
I'll make a wish for you,
and hope it will come true,
if life will just be kind,
to such a gentle mind,
if you lose your way,
think back on yesturday
remember me this way,
remember me this way.
I don't need eyes to see
the love you bring to me,
no matter where I go
and I know that you'll be there
forever-more a part of me and everywhere
I'll always care.....
I'll make a wish for you
and hope it will come true,
if life will just be kind,
to such a gentle mind,
and if you lose your way
think back on yesturday
remember me this way,
remember me this way.
and I'll be right behind your shoulder,watching you
I'll be standing by your side, all you do
and I won't ever leave
as long as you believe,
you just believe....
I'll make a wish for you
and hope it will come true
if life will just be kind
to such a gentle mind
and if you lose your way
think back on yesturday
remember me this way
remember me this way.
o.....
this way.(Remember Me This Way, Jordan McNight)
Theres this relatively new band.. i think theyve been around for a year now.. and i really liked this song too..
"Perfect"
Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect (Perfect, Simple Plan)
take care all
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
glitter
sometimes i feel overwhelmed by my own planning.. i am a compulsive TTD list maker.. for the layman thats "Things To Do".. if you have a therapist they will tell you that TTD lists are peoples way of making themselves feel selfimportant and useful. the more items you have, obviously the more work you do.. the more ticks you have on the list, the higher your rate of achievement... and if you think im going to make any disparaging remarks about the TTD lists.. dream on babe.. i LIVE by them..
I love the rush of adrenaline when i get to TICK... TICK TICK TICK... its like a small dose of prozac.. ahhh sweet accomplishment... ahhhh... :) sometimes i just put things like "Buy Soap" and feel soooo happy when i accomplish it... :) sighhhhh... life is truly complete at that moment...
Theres so much happening in life all around me that i dont know where to start. there was a time when i used to have a daily chronicle of everything that transpired in daily existence.. however i have noticed that the time i was MOST diligent in recording my escapades was when i didnt really have any to write about.. i have had pages and pages filled with TV show dialogues (War of the Worlds, Sydney, Mash) and its hilarious.. i love re-reading them cause those were massively happy, hair-not-white times.. and i miss those dammit... I think i have 15 white hair now.. sighhh... age creeps up on you without so much as a by-your-leave.. its sad. it should be taught some manners. humph..
i want a tissue ka lehnga... i cant find nice tissue here... i saw really nice tissue in all these magazines but apparently its all from across the border.. sigh.. i love shiny sparkly stuff :) glitter glitter sparkle sparkle.. i'm the kind of person who would use glitter glue to seal official mail..
Maybe i can get a glittery paint for my room... oh WOW.. that'll be the coooolest.. i leeeoouuuvve glittery shiny sparkly stuff... yessirree do..
:)
cheerios
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
I love the rush of adrenaline when i get to TICK... TICK TICK TICK... its like a small dose of prozac.. ahhh sweet accomplishment... ahhhh... :) sometimes i just put things like "Buy Soap" and feel soooo happy when i accomplish it... :) sighhhhh... life is truly complete at that moment...
Theres so much happening in life all around me that i dont know where to start. there was a time when i used to have a daily chronicle of everything that transpired in daily existence.. however i have noticed that the time i was MOST diligent in recording my escapades was when i didnt really have any to write about.. i have had pages and pages filled with TV show dialogues (War of the Worlds, Sydney, Mash) and its hilarious.. i love re-reading them cause those were massively happy, hair-not-white times.. and i miss those dammit... I think i have 15 white hair now.. sighhh... age creeps up on you without so much as a by-your-leave.. its sad. it should be taught some manners. humph..
i want a tissue ka lehnga... i cant find nice tissue here... i saw really nice tissue in all these magazines but apparently its all from across the border.. sigh.. i love shiny sparkly stuff :) glitter glitter sparkle sparkle.. i'm the kind of person who would use glitter glue to seal official mail..
Maybe i can get a glittery paint for my room... oh WOW.. that'll be the coooolest.. i leeeoouuuvve glittery shiny sparkly stuff... yessirree do..
:)
cheerios
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
Monday, March 07, 2005
repetition
i get a strong sense of deja vu sometimes.. no relation to the coffee shop..
its weird. sometimes . right in the middle of a ****load of work suddenly the earth stops spinning on its axis, mind shuts down and thought enters a suspended reality.. everything becomes fuzzy and you get kinda lost in the moment...
Thats when i usually order a piping hot cup of tea and some ... ahem.. chocolate chip cookies and munch in a quiet pensive manner brooding over the vastness of the universe and shortness of deadlines.. its an art... staring into space while munching on a soggy cookie... you have to attune all your senses into that one moment.. it requires focus and dedication.. to shut down all other sensations except for that hot tea n cookies experience bursting upon your taste buds... hmmm.. i should skip dinner..
Its all superficial.. the world at large. i know some people who make it all worthwhile though :) its beautiful... i laugh so hard sometimes i can double over with stitches in my tummy and all about the most innocuous things.. which is amazing... it lightens the tonne of bricks i feel resting on my shoulder blades.. :) may we all be blessed with such friends and colleagues.. i truly believe i am blessed MashAllah.. May Allah continue to bless us all..
Life goes full circle i heard... i think it means life & death... its so cliched isnt it.. of course theres a beginning and an end.. and everything in between.. but theres no finality to life... there are just the moments we live in... and we should push ourselves to the limit in finding the joy in those.. its easy to walk around with a frown on your face growling at everything in your path.. but its downright fabulous to make the effort and bounce around with a smile on your face and really make the world sparkle all around you.. now THAT's something.
I'm tired.. :) but its ok.. sometimes tired is a different kind of fun..
cheerios
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
its weird. sometimes . right in the middle of a ****load of work suddenly the earth stops spinning on its axis, mind shuts down and thought enters a suspended reality.. everything becomes fuzzy and you get kinda lost in the moment...
Thats when i usually order a piping hot cup of tea and some ... ahem.. chocolate chip cookies and munch in a quiet pensive manner brooding over the vastness of the universe and shortness of deadlines.. its an art... staring into space while munching on a soggy cookie... you have to attune all your senses into that one moment.. it requires focus and dedication.. to shut down all other sensations except for that hot tea n cookies experience bursting upon your taste buds... hmmm.. i should skip dinner..
Its all superficial.. the world at large. i know some people who make it all worthwhile though :) its beautiful... i laugh so hard sometimes i can double over with stitches in my tummy and all about the most innocuous things.. which is amazing... it lightens the tonne of bricks i feel resting on my shoulder blades.. :) may we all be blessed with such friends and colleagues.. i truly believe i am blessed MashAllah.. May Allah continue to bless us all..
Life goes full circle i heard... i think it means life & death... its so cliched isnt it.. of course theres a beginning and an end.. and everything in between.. but theres no finality to life... there are just the moments we live in... and we should push ourselves to the limit in finding the joy in those.. its easy to walk around with a frown on your face growling at everything in your path.. but its downright fabulous to make the effort and bounce around with a smile on your face and really make the world sparkle all around you.. now THAT's something.
I'm tired.. :) but its ok.. sometimes tired is a different kind of fun..
cheerios
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
Monday, February 21, 2005
Spring cometh
In each life there shall cometh a spring...
tra lala lala
no thats not a poem. I dont know who im talking to now. i think except for Umy everyones left me to my own devices. Which is not a bad thing. Leaves me more secure in my self expression when i think no ones listening. Its like cursing in an empty room.
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
tra lala lala
no thats not a poem. I dont know who im talking to now. i think except for Umy everyones left me to my own devices. Which is not a bad thing. Leaves me more secure in my self expression when i think no ones listening. Its like cursing in an empty room.
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
2005
Wow.. ive been gone for a bit now.. i've realized that if you keep planning for perfection, thats all you'll end up doing...planning! there were so many moments in the past month (its been exactly a month since i last wrote).. so many moments in the past month that i thought i would draft a blog.. maybe about egypt.. add a few pictures i thought... that should be nice..
then thanks to the complicated activities required to put up such an ambitious blog, i gave it up and ended up not writing at all.. i SUCK..
ok enough self deprecation..
the years changed.
Have you noticed?
it was quite an experience.. This New years was nice.. i was in Egypt on a nile cruise when we rang in the new year.. the food was good so basically that was the deciding factor for me. We had the standard whirling dervish show and a bit more.. there was confetti and party hats and 20 children running about in gay abandon.. it was interesting..
Egypt was nice.. it was like ... a really hazy version of Karachi. I slept alot. On the entire trip. I get motion sickness if im in a car alot and well.. we were in coasters.. like.. ALOT!.. so i just used to pop off everytime i hit the seat, sofa, sidewalk, hard rock cafe... you name it and i've dozed off there.. suffice it to say, Egypt was a surreal experience.. :)
Sunset@the Citadel, Cairo, Egypt, 1st Jan 2005 © Fariha Shah 2005
There was ofcourse the overwhelming awe of the Pyramids.. lol.. and well lets just say it was pretty neat. We walked all the way down into one... causing our unexercised muscles to groan with the strain.. and took a look around. We climbed down into the smallest one that was open that day.. the pyramid of M.. something.. cant remember the name.. :)
The Sphinx, Cairo, Egypt, 31st Jan 2005 © Fariha Shah 2005
The best part was buying the khartoosh from Khan-el-Khalili.. we actually found a khartoosh factory and they made us all our khartooshes in 20 minutes.. considering thats exactly how long we had before the bus left us, it was a God send :) a khartoosh btw is a gold or silver tablet with your name written on it in egyptian heiroglyphics... also found a nice stone carving and a (ofcourse) papyrus print i liked..
That was it. Minimal shopping. Which is probably why this trip didnt leave too much of an impact. The eating was regimented except for when me and my friend raided the executive floor lounge.. they had a great high tea at 4pm.. and we were perpetually hungry :)
New Years was the funniest.. us young 'uns decided to party hearty after the nile cruise was over coz you know.. it was new years and all.. so we trooped off to the Hard Rock Cafe.. all 5 of us :).. and well i was so damn tired.. that in between the very very loud rock concert that was happening all around us, i settled my head back and dropped off to sleep hehehe... :) i couldnt help it yaar.. i need my sleep..
and from then onwards, i've had everyone come over look at me rather quizzically and state.. "suna hai aap so gaein thee".. lol.. yeah.. its called jetlag.. granted the time difference was only 3 hours but still.. when it was 3am there, it was 6am at home.. i'd been up the whole night you know.. Us growing children need their sleep..
lol.. Anyway.. it was a good lot of fun..
The breakfast at the hotel was niiiice.. there were pancakes and waffles and french toast and lots of other nice goodies which i was very attentive to..
and then we all trooped back.. :) so that was New Years..
My life in general is on a roller coaster ride.. in between work and home... karachi & lahore.. its just a whirlwind.. i think the frequency of air travel is permanently affecting my hearing.. i need a full physical.. its so damn cold here and my beds so nice and warm, i have issues dragging myself out of it in the mornings..
My nights begin at 10pm.. the minute i hit the bed i'm out..
Life wasnt always so focused. There was more happening on the periphery once upon a time. Now its just... happening all around me and like the Cairo trip, i seem to be sleeping through it.. sometimes it hits me, how fast life is moving on.. how i dont seem to be a part of it.. its a bit crazy.
But you know what.. sometimes.. when my feet are warm.. :) i'm happy.. the world is nice.. and life is good..
I guess thats as simple as it gets..
love
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
then thanks to the complicated activities required to put up such an ambitious blog, i gave it up and ended up not writing at all.. i SUCK..
ok enough self deprecation..
the years changed.
Have you noticed?
it was quite an experience.. This New years was nice.. i was in Egypt on a nile cruise when we rang in the new year.. the food was good so basically that was the deciding factor for me. We had the standard whirling dervish show and a bit more.. there was confetti and party hats and 20 children running about in gay abandon.. it was interesting..
Egypt was nice.. it was like ... a really hazy version of Karachi. I slept alot. On the entire trip. I get motion sickness if im in a car alot and well.. we were in coasters.. like.. ALOT!.. so i just used to pop off everytime i hit the seat, sofa, sidewalk, hard rock cafe... you name it and i've dozed off there.. suffice it to say, Egypt was a surreal experience.. :)
Sunset@the Citadel, Cairo, Egypt, 1st Jan 2005 © Fariha Shah 2005
There was ofcourse the overwhelming awe of the Pyramids.. lol.. and well lets just say it was pretty neat. We walked all the way down into one... causing our unexercised muscles to groan with the strain.. and took a look around. We climbed down into the smallest one that was open that day.. the pyramid of M.. something.. cant remember the name.. :)
The Sphinx, Cairo, Egypt, 31st Jan 2005 © Fariha Shah 2005
The best part was buying the khartoosh from Khan-el-Khalili.. we actually found a khartoosh factory and they made us all our khartooshes in 20 minutes.. considering thats exactly how long we had before the bus left us, it was a God send :) a khartoosh btw is a gold or silver tablet with your name written on it in egyptian heiroglyphics... also found a nice stone carving and a (ofcourse) papyrus print i liked..
That was it. Minimal shopping. Which is probably why this trip didnt leave too much of an impact. The eating was regimented except for when me and my friend raided the executive floor lounge.. they had a great high tea at 4pm.. and we were perpetually hungry :)
New Years was the funniest.. us young 'uns decided to party hearty after the nile cruise was over coz you know.. it was new years and all.. so we trooped off to the Hard Rock Cafe.. all 5 of us :).. and well i was so damn tired.. that in between the very very loud rock concert that was happening all around us, i settled my head back and dropped off to sleep hehehe... :) i couldnt help it yaar.. i need my sleep..
and from then onwards, i've had everyone come over look at me rather quizzically and state.. "suna hai aap so gaein thee".. lol.. yeah.. its called jetlag.. granted the time difference was only 3 hours but still.. when it was 3am there, it was 6am at home.. i'd been up the whole night you know.. Us growing children need their sleep..
lol.. Anyway.. it was a good lot of fun..
The breakfast at the hotel was niiiice.. there were pancakes and waffles and french toast and lots of other nice goodies which i was very attentive to..
and then we all trooped back.. :) so that was New Years..
My life in general is on a roller coaster ride.. in between work and home... karachi & lahore.. its just a whirlwind.. i think the frequency of air travel is permanently affecting my hearing.. i need a full physical.. its so damn cold here and my beds so nice and warm, i have issues dragging myself out of it in the mornings..
My nights begin at 10pm.. the minute i hit the bed i'm out..
Life wasnt always so focused. There was more happening on the periphery once upon a time. Now its just... happening all around me and like the Cairo trip, i seem to be sleeping through it.. sometimes it hits me, how fast life is moving on.. how i dont seem to be a part of it.. its a bit crazy.
But you know what.. sometimes.. when my feet are warm.. :) i'm happy.. the world is nice.. and life is good..
I guess thats as simple as it gets..
love
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld
Copyright © Fars - FS 2004
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