Reminiscences

I'm sitting here in S dadijans room on the couch watching Smallville. She was usually asleep by now. Memories are so fleeting. I saw an Ed yesterday in which he's going nuts trying to capture his most cherished memories on tape. Video. Reminded me of me. But I've missed many great moments. I was standing in the London Tube system the other day watching this man trying to remember the number of pockets on his cargoes and I knew the memory would slip away from my sieve like memory in a hurry. I was right. It's all gone now.

I remember a day not so long ago when Fais and I sat with S dadijan on one of his visits. She told us about how she used to play football when she was younger. Fais was so surprised. She laughed when she saw his reaction.

I remember the last time I saw her before I left for London. She was so alert. She knew the names of all her nurses and doctors even remembering things where uzmchis memory would fail her. She kissed me thrice when I said goodbye and kept asking how fais was. There was talk of shifting her out of the ICU into her own room. I left happy knowing she would be well. That was the last time I saw her.

Now I'm home. And sitting in the room I shared with her for over a year I find myself staying awake at night just thinking about how life just starts and ends and all we have is the time in between to be happy. Or miserable as per our choice.

Sometimes it seems as if the power of choice is wrested away from us. Sometimes it feels like we are carried away by the flow of circumstances and there's no control over where the currents will carry us and where our feet will finally find solid ground.

Maybe the objective of life is not to rest on solid ground. Maybe its purpose lies in fighting the currents to keep our heads above the water for as long as we can and once the fight has gone out of us our purpose is to gracefully surrender and sink to the riverbed for our final abode.

Maybe that's it..

Princess of the GemWorld
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I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

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