Holy FOG!

Ok so its like this... i wake up this morning and look out the window and i CANT EVEN SEE THE BALCONY RAILING!

YEESH! the fog enshrouding Lahore in its soulful depths really came into its own this morning. Bye bye PIA flight schedule.. talk about crazy. It really is.
i mean look at this..


Fog on Mian Mir Bridge, Lahore 24th Dec 2004 © Fariha Shah 

thats like the mian mir bridge in lahore. the fog was so thick you couldnt even see the hoarding properly.


Misty Lahori Streets, Lahore 24th Dec 2004 © Fariha Shah 

and thats the street connecting mall road to jail road. Please note.. no visibility beyond 20 feet..
I mean HOW DO PEOPLE LIVE HERE...
sigh sigh.. Its nice and cold though. i hope the sun comes out for a bit but thinks dont look very promising.. lets see what transpires.. Atleast Lahore has seasons :) spoken like a typical defensive Lahori there.. :) thats the statement i get every time my die-hard Karachi self lashes out.

My loyalty to Karachi has seen alot of tests these past few months. Lahore has rains, small transit times, easy shopping, more parking, ... but somehow the food stuff is still easier to come by in Karachi.. i miss the dossas.. dont get to see them here... im not much into formal dining. I'll take eating off the streets anyday over a restaurant... but i guess you win some you lose some.

My fingers feel frozen. Its getting colder by the minute. I dont know how much longer i can survive this weather.. my bones feel chilled. This inspite of socks shoes, sweater and a shawl. For me Hell would be very very cold.

I'll be off now..
cheerios
Princess of the GemWorld

*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004

back and forth...

Xmas days are here again... deck the halls with boughs of holly.. tra lalalalalalala.. *sing song tone

Well thats that.. it was about the same time last year that i suddenly stumbled upon the great wide world of blogging. Sheer freak accident that..
I was trying to find out how to spell que sera sera.. and i googled it..
lo and behold there was a website by that name.. so i went to the website .. and well.. with Sarah Brown (not a distant relative to charlie brown) once you start reading you dont want to stop.. and amazingly the one post that i did find was one of the most nicest one.. she'd asked everyone who came to her blog to list down that one sentence, which if said by the right person at the right time would just make the world perfect for you.. the post was called Longing .. the 200 comments that accompanied it were worth a read too.. and i was hooked..

after reading through two years of her life, i was inspired enough to start the shebang on my own.. so i discovered what blogging was all about.. with help from umy, my underworld friend in the depths of cyberspace, we set about exploring the myriad of ways in which you can.. ahem.. format a blog...

whaaaat! formatting is highly crucial i'll have you know.. it was a fun process..
at the end of the day, ive basically given up on making the blog look good cause seriously i just cant be bothered... i just love writing stuff on it.. even if no one comes to read it except me :)

The last month has been funny in terms of travel schedules. I've realized that if i learn the art of traveling "light" ..(like how the hell do people do that anyway).. my life would be a little easier..

I tried it.. i hated it.. i always feel like ive left something behind when i have forced my self to proverbially travel light..

I am happy to report that my idiosyncrasies contribute greatly to lowering the stress levels in my workplace. The biggest laughs of the year can easily be attributed to my antics in and around work... the latest being a 1-day trip to dubai on which i traveled with no less than 3 peices of luggage. My darling colleagues will leave out the fact that they ended up borrowing stuff from me since they'd traveled too light for words.. *humph.. :) see see theres a method to my madness..
but it was hilarious enough for them to take pictures of the scene with their mobilephone cameras and giggle at leisure.. i however *superior eyebrows raised look there.. had the last laugh ...

That trip was fun.. it was out of the blue.. and they didnt have our room ready at the jumeirah beach hotel so while i would have quietly stood by and let em do whatever, my colleague decided that wasnt the right approach and very politely expressed her displeasure to the management which has us being upgraded to a suite... with the MOST amazing view of the Burj Ul Arab.. even though we'd been up half the night in trasit and were dead tired, it was still an experience to remember..
This would however be the first trip to Dubai on which i didnt find the time to have a Burger King Whopper.. i had my caramel machiato from starbucks.. but no whopper.. incredible, i know..

After that ive had these mad trips to Kuala Lampur & Bangkok.. and whats scaring me the most is that once you enter into that transit mentality, everything merges into a fuzzy picture where you dont notice any distinguishing characteristics.. and that is damn scary..
when i am in another country, i want to KNOW that i'm in another country through all my senses.. smell, taste, touch, sight, hearing.. all of them.. and being tired because of too much airline travel deadens your senses and you stop feeling all the sensations and then a new place turns into just another place..

Thats when you start losing your sense of wonder.. a word of advice.. DONT EVER LET THAT HAPPEN.. once it happens, its very difficult to shake it off.. no matter how tired you are.. or how long you've traveled to get somewhere, before you leave the airport, wash your face, brush your teeth, open up your ears.. and THEN step out into the atmosphere and really soak it in..

This advice is easy to dispense.. its hard to live upto..

:) anyway cheers to all.. its truly winter season here.. life is good.. lets see what happens next..

I started writing this post with the thought that i'd share what had transpired on my last few mad trips which has had me spending more time in airports then on ground.. but i suddenly got sidetracked and now i've lost my train of thought..

take care all
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004

Livin on the edge...

Like seriously guyz.. you wont believe what i did a couple of weekends ago...
ahem.. yeah.. well.. i dont know how i managed it.. truth to tell, i didnt actually jump off as much as being pushed off the 50 meters high platform at the top of the tower.. (165 feet in layman terms)

Yes indeedy do kiddies.. i did an actual factual bungee jump.. :) and i have the certificate of courage to prove it..
I wouldnt have believed myself capable of such daring, in fact the only thing going through my head was .. just a few more seconds and then i'll be on solid ground.. except...
the trick with the bungee cord is that its Elastic.. *waggling eyebrows..
so you go down screaming like a banshee once feeling like its a free fall to no where.. till the cord stretches and you realize that something is tied to your feet and keepintg you from crashing into the water beneath you..
and you're thinking.. hey this wasnt half bad you know..

AND THEN.. the cord being EElastic.. RECOILS...
takes you back up to about 40 meters.... you go up quietly enough thinking heh i've done this already.. and THEN...
YOU FALL DOWN ALL OVER AGAIN.... my second blood curdling scream was worth a place in the Horrors hall of fame.. truly!
and then :) of course.. there was the third... fall & scream..

after they've been satisfied that you've truly lost your wits, they go about trying to bring you down.. so the cage lowers slowly with you hanging upside down with a whole new perspective of the world. they stick out a pole, you grab hold as fast and hard as humanely possible and literally start climbing down it before they can even pull you in .. then they lower you down and pull off the elastic and the ankle padding and you are left trying to hold down the blood rush and the shaking in your legs as they try to regain their familiarity with the ground and gravity in general..

I had burst capillaries in my cheeks... i SWEAR.. i did... and thanks to the team with me, i got a full technicolor video of my leap of faith above the grand horizon of Chiang Mai... just watching it makes my toes curl all over again.. brrrrr...

So thats that.. My Bungee Jumping Experience.. this from a person who doesnt even get on roller coasters..

Its the getting your feet off the platform that the toughest.. i got harnessed, in the cage, and all the way up there without panicking.. it was once your standing on that little platform looking out across the sky and you suddenly feel the rush of falling through air ... jumping into nothingness.. and thats just while you're standing up there.. that well.. i for one started hyperventilating.. ahem.. i'm not proud of it but there you have it..

I was standing there white knuckled, gripping the railing for all its worth for a good 20 minutes which forced my jump master Wit to finally ask if he could lower the cage.. but .. i dont know what drove me.. actually i do.. i'd just rather not say it.. finally Wit took matters into his own hands and told me to hold my arms out while he slowly leaned me over and ... theres no less scary way of saying this.. DROPPED ME INTO OBLIVION.... aaaaarrrrrrrrreeeeeeeecccccchhhh... *something between a aargh and a screech..
My scream ... WAS scary.. :)

So that was that :)

On another extremely happy note... I found the Johanna Lindsey book about Jeremy Malory in Kuala lampur.. we've collectively waited about 12 years for his book after totally falling in love with the character back then.. and it was amazing.. :) loved it.. i had to take the train to another station to get my hands on the last copy they had but it was worth it :)

Also had the good fortune to find part two of the Jarku Ruus Trilogy: Tanequil by Terry Brooks.. now ive read two .. cant wait for the third one.. he should really write and publish them faster... i mean aaaarrrrghhh... that was also the last copy they had ... am i lucky or what

Anyway :) gotta run.. its cold in lhr now brrr.. even with the sun out and all..

cheers
Princess of the GemWorld

*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004

Jingle Bells...

Its hard to believe that its the end of 2004...

Like so many other things in my life the changing of the years has also stopped leaving an impression.. i remember the transition in 1999 vividly.. the years to follow the same sense of wonder pervaded my mind each time the clock would tick over the dawn of a new numeric year.. 2004 was the last year to do so.. 2005 will be lost in the crowd of other mundane events in life..

Its weird.. i sometimes feel like my childlike sense of wonder is slipping away.. the inherent excitement in everything.. a new place.. an international trip.. shopping.. food... sometimes i feel bereft of it.. i think its a result of the barriers ive created around my heart to shelter it from the pain of disappointment.. having developed a highly blase outlook on life.. nothing upsets me anymore.. nearly nothing.. there isnt anything that i can not face with faith.. but.. somehow the quest to keep my inner sanctum safe and ripple free somehow seems to have diluted the intensity of feeling within my soul..

or maybe for the first time in my life.. i may have experienced fear.. and to counter that detachment proceedings were carried out.. i still have faith in the Almighty.. but somehow i have a feeling that my human side decided to take additional precautions in case he decides to test me.. so it put up additional safety nets all around me to close me off from adverse reactions..

i dont know which is worse.. feeling everything or not feeling at all.. i guess once you make that distinction you can go forward either fully prepared for the consequences or fully safe from everything .. including happiness.. its a mind boggling dilemmna.. :)

Lifes ok.. i have tried to be on a protein diet.. for some reason i found it to be pretty easy.. i guess that makes me a bonafide carnivore.. bring on the meat baby.. lol.. but in all seriousness.. its damn easy.. unless you travel on the 6pm PIA economy plus flight.. in which the entire in-flight meal comprises of 3 portions of carbs.. :)
i had half a McArabia.. i like it.. also had.. umm.. a damascus ka shwarma.. thought it was drier than usual.. had a silver spoon ka chicken roll.. had a chicken dosa from something bbq in khadda market.. had some nice italian food at the Sicilian.. the seafood soup was also pretty nice..

my experience of the world as i keep reiterating is defined through my consumption occassions.. if i dont consume and taste.. it leaves very little of an impression on me.. :) cant help it thats just the way it is.

Ok me be off.. take care me lovelies.. although im not a sea faring person per se.. but i like it..

cheerios
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004

slightly misty winter days...

Its true really.. my blogs really do sound like a weather report sometimes.

This morning was amazing.. it was soft and misty.. lahore is still in the middle ground between fall and winter.. winter hasnt struck with a vengeance as yet.. i carry around my oversized Nike jacket anyway ... Just in case :)

My head throbs a wee bit.. in a funny way.. my eyes i fear will very soon give up on me i stare at nothing but a huge lcd screen alllllll day.. its sad i tell you..

I have however learned to type without looking at the keyboard which is a real cool accomplishment. :)

I seriously have regressed into ultra boring zone. The reason is as follows: Lack of honesty. I've lost the streak of letting loose on the web without fear of recrimination. :) i dunno. Maybe it'll come back.. but i seriously only work and sleep so i dont have much to say..

Just had a new bundle of joy enter our familial fold.. my cousin just had a baby boy... 6 pounds 11 ounces.. :) MashAllah.. lots of joy going around.. The birth of a baby is always a reason for joy.. its so pure and untainted.. i hope every birth is safe and joyful..

I have constant companions in my workplace.. my window (if u can call it that) faces outward onto the side of our building.. each afternoon the cooks for the offices below cook their gleeful little hearts out, having merry conversation in punjabi as they go about their work... its a nice indirect companionship.. :) you never feel alone..

It was my daddys birthday yesterday... cakes n flowers...

Im a little disturbed still with my ongoing internal struggle with the outside world. I know that sounds a bit confusing but i dont know how else to put it. Inside my heart i firmly believe that nothing and no one else matters in my life except the Almighty and those that i bestow my love on. My sense of self is strong and so is my faith. Apart from my inner sanctum of my nearest and dearest, I dont give a rats ass about other peoples opinions, thoughts, and general verbal expression.. and thats the way it will remain.

You can insulate yourself, but how do you insulate those who you love. Not everyone will think like me. Theres a reason why our closest friends and family are on the same wave length as us. Its a defensive strategy. People dont like exposing themselves to what they dont like and hence they chose to love only like minded people to have minimal disruption in their lives.

Somehow very few people are able to insulate themselves from being affected by the random opinions of all and sundry.. we have so many situation where inevitably someone ends up uttering.. hai Allah log kya sochien gey.. kya sochien gey?.. can you control it.. can you remotely direct it... do you think if you're a goody two shoes and a Allah ki gai for your entire life the world will leave you alone...

Bull Shit.. they'll come after you tenfold. The world in general likes an easy target. It doesnt pay to be nice to everyone..
But i cant be ruthless either... just uncaring..

i believe in letting things be.. big Paul Mcartney fan there....
Allah mian takes care of most of my issues.. but thats just me.. some people out there need to tackle each issue head on and make sure the issue knows it exists..

my approach can sometimes be likened to the ostrich. which is not good. i ramble. which is also not good. i go now.. :)

see ya..

Princess of the GemWorld


*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004

Rainy Days are here again

oh joy oh joy oh joy..
Allah be praised... Karachi is all beautiful & rainy again.. :) im so happy..

:)

Lahore is cold. The nights are freezing. But thats just my Karachi blood speaking.

Eid was nice.. family get together, a bit of visiting & visitors, and lots of nice food.
my mum makes the best qeema sawaiyan.. and i practically live off that till its all finished. and then she made saag gosht.. which i love having with chawal & dahi.. so i kinda lived off that too..

Then there was the deja Vu iftar... which was very very nice.. veggie tempura, canneloni, lasagna, pizza, pakoras, chinese rolls.. sigh sigh sigh.. good stuff.. but the desert bit was useless.. heheh .. and the CK one was ok.. didnt like it much.. which was a surprise.. but it seriously was nothing to write home about.. there was no live cooking either which kinda detracted from the CK expectations.. The Arizona one rocked because of the pasta, the salads, the APPLE COBBLER.. i love that Apple cobbler.. its just too cool.

Went to Flo for a dinner too.. and it was very nice.. as my best friend wud whole heartedly recommend.. #42 rocks.. its this chicken withe whild mushroom sauce and they serve the potatoes in very thin slices with sour cream in the layers and ohhhmyyygoodness.. its mouth wateringly beautiful.. also had the shrimp and salmon tagliatelle.. very nice.. and the desert was strawberry crepe with whipped cream.. need i say more..

My tummy growling with a vengeance.. great! i'd planned to skip lunch from now on, unfortunately i keep making the mistake of having breakfast.. which umm naturally leads to lunch.. ahem :) .. kya karein control nahin hota.. lehar namkeem.. lol..

yes indeedy do.. advertising does in fact rule our lives.. anyway.. i had good food.. my one regret is that i was too full on my last few days to have one more dominoes thin crust tex mex, u think they deliver to lahore :) sigh sigh sigh.. sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh.. chalo i can try the McArabia... NO NO.. bad girl.. restrain..

since i was just told not 20 minutes ago that i seem to have lost weight ( lord bless JM) i should show some consistency and atleast TRY to exhibit some commitment... to hell with it. you only live once..

("niiiitaaa wats on the menu?")

take care kiddos..

Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004

orkut ahoy

hmmm.. so like i went and checked out this Orkut thingy...

Its pretty neat.. alot of old CBM faces online.. lots of communities.. it seems like an interesting place.. i guess this week i can try to see what else ive been missing out on...will finally go to a karachi iftari at Arizona today.. Heard its the best one so we're pretty psyched..

Its amazing what the thought of immense amounts of food can do to one in a roza.. i find myself watching incessant broadcasts of BBCFOOD without feeling any hunger pangs but just the thought of the Arizona Iftar is enough to send my mind and tummy into a feeding frenzy... i hope it lives up to expectations..

In terms of other new and wonderful things in Karachi.. ive certifiably fallen in love with the Dominoes thin crust tex mex.. i swear i could easily finish off a medium all on my own.. i mean ive been to damascus twice now since being back in town and i STILL havent had the farrouge or the Shwarma.. i used to DIE to have those things.. sigh... oh well.. i guess once ive had my fill of the pizza i'll revert back to the original cravings..

The weathers pretty decent in my city by the sea.. the evenings are pleasant even.. i wear a sweater inside the house. My family thinks i'm certifiable. Its a commonly shared opinion..

I dont know why but i'm always feeling cold.. :) I also bought the ranch flavored pringles and get this.. PRINGLES SOUR CREAM & CHIVE DIP... OHMYGOODNESS... IT ROCKED... it was the BEST DAMN DIP THIS SIDE OF THE PACIFIC.. highly recommended from Paradise next to Billboard.. man.. smacking lips..

hmm... thats been the sum total of my culinary experience... so far.. i havent really been out that much.. and much to consternation we learnt that Arizona Grill doesnt have Sehri this year so we were very very sad... SAD!...

But basically i have Deja Vu, CK & Arizona on my menu list.. and i dont mind hitting any of these places twice.. damn... so many buffets so little time..

lol... ooh and the McArabia wasnt bad either.. had a bite or two.. but i'm thinking of giving it another try..

In other news.. i'm still owed very highly belated birthday presents by certain creative types.. My rooms a mess as usual and i had nothing to do with it... i LOVE BBC FOOD.. my tailor made most of my clothes but they require alterations.. my best friends gotten some great kurtis made... I love the color of my room .. its lime green & cream.. i bought the Princess Diaries.. Royal Engagement and thought it was cute.. it was a pirate print though.. Gilmore girls season one is available on DVD and guess who'll be heading to Rainbow centre to pile up on the DVDs..

And lastly if i dont come back before eid.. EID MUBARAK... to all of you..
love
fars

Princess of the GemWorld

*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004

Joy....

Lying in bed with barely enuff light to even see the lines on my Philips CE notebook. I recall the story of the Japanese boy who had to learn how to write with his eyes closed so he could master Japanese script.

I can hear the traffic on the Mall. The honks of the horns, the sounds of the mosques resonating in the air. I suddenly remember my morning in Istanbul, waking up at Fajr surrounded by the simultaneous calls from all the mosques. It filled me with wonder. The strength of the call. its 8:10 pm. i'm in a blanket. Lost somewhere between the realms of lonely reality and confusing fantasy. I wonder sometimes how Allah can stand me & my imperfections. I am a constant trial to this world. To everyone who's ever dared or been forced to love me.

Train Siren. The crossing must be closed right now. I have.. or seem to have isolated myself... from life... from society... from normalcy. I keep feeling i'm moving further & further away from the reality of the world. I used to say that we define our own reality. What we believe IS our truth. I've not been wrong. Atleast not from my perspective. But everyday I inflict pain on those who loved me. It's a losing battle. My inability to ask for forgiveness and their inability to forgive.

My eyes are growing accustomed to the darkness. I can see the writing now. Also this page is white. The last one was light blue. Makes a difference.

Somehow i don't feel alone. Don't feel the overwhelming need right now to reach out & talk or make contact with another human being. I Used to crave human contact. It used to fill me with joy, a rush of endorphins.

I loved talking & laughing, even if it was at my self. Somehow today I feel devoid of that joy.

Felt like reaching out and touching my past. My stays by the sea, the hot parathas & spicy unda tamater at the Korangi Creek Dhabba with doodh patti. The most disconnected memories are flooding the recesses of my mind. . Flashbacks.. icecream cones in sialkot. Salty boiled meat between the peaks & valleys of Quetta, Chapli kababs in Peshawar. My parents helped me experience the world fully.

I'm human. I experience the world based primarily on taste, then smell, then sight, sound & touch. Hence food is my primary memory receptor.

The air grows cooler here. It's nice to breathe... will soon be minty ...

Don't feel sorry for me.. I don't. Theres nothing to feel sorry about. C'est la vie... This is life... It's there to be lived.. for the living.. this moment is life..

i keep repeating these lines over & over again.. its a reminder for me.. There are some things in life which are better left untold and undiscovered. Take Palmistry for example.. it can unfold many secrets ... and it can cause many heartaches ... because some things happen solely because we believe that they will happen..

I have a simple formula for dealing with hardships.. I look upon them as ordained by Allah and either take it as a test or as a sign of some thing better for us in the long run.. I guess thats the optimists approach.. but really ... we can be as miserable as we want to be.. regardless of how good our lives are.. and conversely we can be as joyous as we want to be ... regardless of how painful reality may be... i guess its a matter of discovering you own inner strength and the strength of your faith..

Bad things can happen to good people.. and it makes you ask why.. you'll never know.. Only Allah will know.. and somehow i dont think he feels a pressing need to answer all our why's.. he's biding his time for the day when he gets to ask that question and see how we respond..

i scare my self of that so i lose my fear of the world. I realized early this morning that i hadnt grown up with any fear within me.. somehow that served to make me seem overly confident and independent in the eyes of the people i love.. but its a gift that i got from them .. and its a beautiful gift. To live life without fear... its the most amazing feeling.. and it came primarily from two things.. the love & security i felt when i was growing up... and the ever strengthening faith in the Almighty.. that he is our strength and our protector.

I still get a bit nervous if im driving around and its late and i rush to reach the safe confines of my home.. i get teary eyed of the fear of a loved one passing away.. i cry inside sometimes thinking of the things we lose along the way... but at the end of the day i feel love which protects me and tells me everything will be ok.. and it comes from Allah and my parents and my best friends and everyone i've met who's so far never hurt me in any way..

Theres alot of good still left in the world. Alot of good and love.. We need to leave ourselves open for it.. protect ourselves from the bad and leave a little opening for the love to sneak in..

And then just live.. as nicely as we can...

all of you who come here... theres a bit of love in my heart for each one of you..

love

Princess of the GemWorld



*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004

the perils of blogging

The day had to come :)

i knew deep down inside... infact not even so deep down that baring your soul on the internet was bound to get one into trouble.. especially when everyone you know somehow naturally assumes the blogs all about them... when ... well.. its not you see... cause its all about me... yes.. egomaniacal, narcissistic, totally internally focused.. me!

But ah well.. :) i gotta run.. its iftari time..

love
Princess of the GemWorld

*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004

Sweet Home Karachi...

My 1st trip back home after 2 months was surreal.
I felt like kneeling on the tarmac after landing and kissing the scorching ground.

Scorching.. because its still summers in Karachi..
i stared with my eyes wide open at everything.. the roads, the street signs, the trees, shops, round abouts... reassuring myself that everything was where i'd left it.. and every so often i would burst into tears just missing the feeling of belonging to this humming city... i miss my city :(

I had so much on my mind. So many little things niggling the back of my conciousness... i went on a cleaning spree... it cleansed my mind and my soul along with my room..

i threw away project papers from 1999.. i three away old bank statements & deposit slips. I threw away receipts of equipment long expired.. i threw away reems of paper and things collected in the days of youth.. i threw away sooo many pictures which i knew i would never use in my photo album..

There was a time when i knew every single snap in each of my kodak photo albums down to the negative numbers which were obviously catalogued by chronological order. i was very organized. Each picture, taken of course with my nanas fantastic Nikon, was an extension of me.. my memories.. my past.. and sitting there on my bed this fine saturday morning in the hot month of october, i realized i had to let go. I had to move on from all those little moments that had made my life memorable 15 years ago.. (yeah i'm oooooolllddd... sigh)... and i had to concentrate on the moments now... i had to open my mind and start experiencing every second, sight, sound, aroma, the way i used to in my youth...when it all became larger than life..

Even now i can look at a picture, and it all comes back to me, the sea breeze in the back ground, specks of sand floating in the wind, the chill in the winter air, the warmth of the sun ... my favorite and most vivid memories are of the winters.. I used to breathe in the air trying to spot the difference between summer breezes & winter zephyrs... cool weather always served to enhance my senses and i remember the environments in my winter pictures so much more... they still resonate with life...

each moment in time, each snap was a precious memory captured and preserved... until this weekend. I finally realized that i couldnt keep holding on to each & every memory as if i'll never let go..

i also realized that Digital cameras lack character.. they lack emotion.. and because you can take limitless shots you lose value for the picture that you take and snap just about anything.. Digital cameras become an individual pursuit where in your pursuit of excellence you alienate the human race. I've stopped snapping pictures of people ever since i acquired my cybershot since inanimate objects are so much prettier..

Blah... well ... i threw away my childhood. Must have shredded a good 200 or so pictures. Let go of alot of baggage for good as well... friends of yore.. those that were once an integral part of the circle of life, yet now not there arent even wisps of their existence on the periphery of my life.. we move so fast and so far... We also sometimes forget the good and remember the bad in order to nurture our anger and nurse our hurt. And in throwing away all these memories, i finally accepted the fact that certain people, certain moments are only contained within the ephemeral bounds of time... and once their time has passed, theres no point in trying to hold on to them wishing and praying that things dont change and always stay the way they are.. it only results in excruciating pain when you finally have to let go.. because thats the nature of life.. it only moves forward..

Thats not to say, i'll ever forget... thats not to say i wont fondly remember the events and occasions that made my youth as memorable as it was... it still brings a smile to my face... :).. we were crazy and it was awesome...

Lest i start strolling down memory lane again, let me stop right here.. i changed my stance towards my album making... now i make the album for just me.. before it used to befor all the people i knew as well.. now its just me.. i put in pretty pictures i like and i throw the rest away because there isnt enough space in the world for all my crap.

:) take care ppl

cheerios
Princess of the GemWorld

*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright ?© Fars - FS 2004

Word of the day..

I've decided the word of the day shall be.... scrumptious.

For some odd reason i have started having massive hunger pangs started at 11am. From then onwards its just a long drawn out waiting period til 1230 when the first signs of lunch start arriving on our company porch. 12:31- i'm in the cafeteria stuffing myself.

Now here's the catch. I am NOT alone. apparently i'm not the only one suffering through these pre-ramzan hunger pangs. I really dont know why its happening though. I have a feeling its got something to do with the winters, which in my humble opinion have certifiably arrived in Lahore. While my boss happily runs the air conditioner in his office, i rush in to power up my electric heater. Talk about extreme environments.

Just conversed with my other female colleague. She's recommended Diet Pepsi as a hunger buster. Said it fills up the stomach and makes you feel less inclined towards stuffing yourself. I have decided to hold off on that measure since we have mini pizzas and soup on the menu which i happen to like. I did however ask to have added perssure put on the lunch service to deliver before time.... *tummy growling in anticipation..

I'm glad ramzan is here. It should help temper my afternoon cravings. Can you imagine how tough its going to be in the beginning. I attribute it to breakfast. If you dont have breakfast, you dont feel hungry all day. The freaking breakfast just throws my entire system out of whack. sigh sigh sigh... ki karein..

I finally gave up and opened a bag of crisps.. bad fariha.. bad bad.. hehehe...

its now 12:50AM... AND OUR FOOD STILL ISNT HERE... WAHHHHHHHHHHH

finally got some food.. man i have no clue what i'm gonna do... sigh..

karachi calling .. the sea calls my soul.. sigh.. at one time i loved that about the city... the fact that it had an international airport that touched the whole world and the sea that left it open to new opportunities and horizons. I used to go to both places and stare fascinated at the planes and waves... i used to imagine where the people were going and what they'd be thinking.. what it would be like once they got there. when my cousins used to fly off after summer vacations, i used to curb my instincts to cry in a corner of nanas house by imagining each part of their journey.. when they land, when they get home.. right upto when they would call us to let us know they'd safely reached home..

The sea has been my savior.. in my saddest moments, my most confused conflicted moments, in my joyous moments.. i've turned to its peaceful continuity to bring balance to the force :) i've sung songs into the strong ocean breeze so no one else would hear me and be tortured by it.. i've stared for long hours at the soft comings & goings of the tide, eternal.. constant.. reliable. I will turn to it again soon to help me temper my temper :) Even though i'm generally speaking sublime, but sometimes my inner sanctum is violated by external forces resulting in an outlash of unprecedented rage.... otherwise i'm usually quite nice..

my cousins were amazing.. :) my khalas kids in specific.. every other summer we were all reunited at nanas house in phase 2 defence.. each year was a transition in life.. something new each time.. each year had its own music associations as well lol.. i remember '86 as being Bonjovi Slippery when Wet (Shot thru the heart, wanted dead or alive, livin on a prayer).. the cassette came with lyrics so ofcourse we had to record ourselves singing all the songs and play it back incessantly... it was also the year of Belinda Carlisle and Heaven is a place on earth... Give a little bit of heart n soul.. and lest i forget.. The Bangles... Walk like an egyptian.. Standing in the hall way... September girls.. a song i remember for obvious reasons..

Then came the era of NKOTB.. lol.. the right stuff.. i'll be lovin you 4ever.. even their entire christmas album.. posters, albums, magazines.. man it was crazy.. somewhere along the way was Debbie Gibson and Tiffany.. I think we're alone now.. i was just watching a E! True Hollywood story about them...lol...

Then there were my mamus kids.. They were into the Top of the Pops.. Rick Astley - when i fall in love.. china - china in your hands.. ma baker.. barbera streisand.. belinda carlisle - runaway horses, U2, cranberries... at different periods in their lives of course.. i remember there was this one top of the pops vhs which was practically rattofied by all of us.. There was this other VHS i once borrowed from a friend of mine which had songs like Justins Girl ( Which i LOVE), the caddy shack soundtrack song.. i cant remember the name.. but it was good... then there was the entire video collection of White snake on that tape.. that was my one and only exposure to their songs.. is this love that i'm feeling... there was the mannequin song.. Starship Nothings gonna stop us.. there was I've had the time of my life.. take my breath away, that was a great VHS , :)

There are my three MTV songs VHSs at home. Pretty bad recordings of songs on MTV between 92 to 95. Then my VCR stopped recording :) .. all my recordings were done in Chitral...where as you can guess i didnt have much going except sattelite TV. so my time was split between Bold n the Beautiful, Santa Barbera and MTV... it was a nice life.. during those days you had songs like Under the bridge - RHCP, Amy grant - Baby baby, i will remember you, friday im in love lol.. there were a bunch of songs there .. i cant even remember all of them.. man i'm old.. that was our time.. us ppl born in the swingin 70s .. i dont know whether to classify my self as the 80s generation or the 90s generation.. it gets confusing after a while.. i lived in both.,. my musical taste is still evolving.. every day im exposed to something new :) thanks to my funny friends :)

and now i have to go.. my tailor is here :)

cheerios
Princess of the GemWorld



*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright ?© Fars - FS 2004

warped reality

Just when you think you're so tired you cant even feel anything anymore, something happens to prove you wrong. Whether positive or negative, human emotions drive life.

I just think if we can kill the negativity, we'd all be better off. Worry, fear, anger, rage, despair, sadness, disappointment... we should just kill it all off. Its not a nice feeling being angry or hurt. Its not a nice feeling when you feel all wronged and taken advantage of. Its usually as a result of something you cant control.

My eyes for some odd reason feel glazed over. Its as if i exist only from moment to moment without any idea of how to proceed further. Its true.
I bought an iron. Then i wanted an ironing stand. Then i thought what if i dont need the ironing stand anymore once i've bought it. What a waste. i havent bought the stand yet.

I dont know exactly whats in my head. I stopped questioning it. i dont know if that was right. now im lost. i dont know which reality is real. the one in my head or the fuzzy one in my eyes. it cant be the fuzzy one. i hope its not the fuzzy one.

Saw the last episode of buffy yesterday night. The series finale. someone told me they felt a blog coming up. I've written about it before but i hadnt seen it then. Just read it online. Watching the end was a poignant moment. I recall the beginning. 97 in houston. i watched the first ever episode. Loved it. The humor was still there. The quirky comebacks. all of it. :) it was sweet. and weird. my childhood ended yesterday night. officially.
I dont feel joyous. I feel stifled. impotent and powerless. standing as a spectator. a pawn in different games. being moved back and forth by different hands. no ownership and all the repercussions. Its not fair. i dont like defending myself because i dont like being attacked.
i feel dead inside right now. i look dead too. sunken eyes. tired face. sleepy and silent. thats how i feel. its time for lunch. i dont feel like going. its unda chana. i dont like unda chana. i dont like much of anything right now. i think i'll go for a drive in the heat. i dont know what i want to do.
There is some work. Its not painfully urgent.

life sucks and then you die. Inalillahewainnailaiherajioun... whatever will be will be.... Allah is my guide and my refuge.

Princess of the GemWorld

*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright ?© Fars - FS 2004

its OVER!!!!!!!!!

Long long days and sleepless nights have finally culminated in the end.. lol...

We had a long exercise being carried out at work... which is now OVER!!

Soooo happy... :)

My eyes feel heavy... and keep closing.. my body feels like its breaking in a multitude of places. my mind is like fuzz. but i'm alive. I survived. heheheh... ok so i lost my marbles along the way... but het you cant have everything.

My GM asked how the experience was. I was like i think we need a post-work retreat. He responded with a thoughtful,"I think we all need therapy". lol..

The office is quiet today. With post-work work piled up, most of the staff is walking about in a daze trying to get their bearings :)... we shall persevere.

Lahore is nice. Its gotten chillier in the evenings. Yesterday was my map-master colleagues wedding anniversary. The man left work at 9:30pm. Sometimes i think the only reason his wife lets him live is because he's the father of her adorable (mashallah) son.. :) otherwise he wud've been history.

Lahore is consequetively turning into Karachi decembers. And its only October. I worry greatly about how my ligaments and joints will react to the impending winters. Dammit. My Karachi Blood isn't used to these drastic weather changes. Unless i'm wearing my dads army fleece jacket.

I ain't happy till i'm warm n cozy... bordering on breaking a sweat. Damn.

I guess i shouldn't fixate on the whole thing. It'll be worse than imagination in that case.

ok me goest...
cheerios

Princess of the GemWorld



*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright ?© Fars - FS 2004

The Alchemist

I CANT BELIEVE I HADNT READ THIS BOOK AS YET!

I cant believe Paulo Coelho thought of life as i do. :) yes. you may bang your head on the proverbial brick wall, but its true dammit.

Its as the Caravan Guide in the desert says to the Boy, "I dont live in the past or the future. I live in the present. Thats why i'm always happy. This moment is life."

In an online review the following was stated:
"As the alchemist himself says, when he appears to Santiago in the form of an old king "when you really want something to happen, the whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true". This is the core of the novel's philosophy and a motif that echoes behind Coelho's writing all through "The Alchemist". And isn't it true that the whole of humankind desperately wants to believe the old king when he says that the greatest lie in the world is that at some point we lose the ability to control our lives, and become the pawns of fate. Perhaps this is the secret of Coelho's success: that he tells people what they want to hear, or rather that he tells them that what they wish for but never thought possible could even be probable. "

Frankly the pawns of fate bit i'm ok with. I dont believe we have any control whatsoever on our destinies and fate. "maktub" : It is written. Whatever will be, will be. But this moment in time... this moment is life. Thats what i carried away with me. Thats what i held within me even before.

In any situation, human beings always look for reaffirmation of their own beliefs. I'm no different :)... the difference lies in the outcome.
Reaffirmation of my belief leads me to higher levels of happiness in my moment.

Where do your beliefs lead you?

Princess of the GemWorld


*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright ?© Fars - FS 2004

Birthday Blues

And so it came....

And so it went...

September 15th 2004. Exactly 27 years completed on the planet. Exactly 6 months completed in my current job. Same period spent in Lahore. My first Birthday away from Home.

I had a major problem remembering my age when i turned 19. I kept thinking i was 18 for a good number of years. At 21 I reconciled to the fact that i was indeed out of my teens. Then i started forgetting again. In fact i dont even remember being 23 24 25 .... i remember being 22 coz thats when we all graduated. I remember being 26 coz..
A. Its an even number
B. I changed jobs
C. I changed cities
D. life changed...
E. I became ineligible for the Eurail Youth Flexipass discount or the Youth Hostels across Europe. There goes my plan for a cheap European vacation.

And now i just KNOW im going to have trouble remembering im 27. Which is actually 10 times worse than forgetting 23 24 & 25, because now ppl will just assume im trying to hide my (sigh!) advanced age... well... i'm not. Im resigned to fate :)

Times like these remind me of the movies... "Life moves pretty fast... If you dont stop to take a look around... You could miss it!" Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

i got flowers, cake, cards, a butterfly necklace, a shawl, couple of suits, a copy of The Alchemist, a reaaally nice perfume, a pair of trackpants :) lol, and some money, a limited amount of birthday SMSs, and periodic phone calls in commemoration of the day.

My office ppl pretended not to notice i was aging.. :) Since i usually rounded up the cavalry for the birthday brigade every month, they went as far as to tell me "just coz its your birthday doesnt mean you dont have to arrange everything."
But then they did :) and i got a card and cakes and lots of happy birthday greetings :)

I cant remember what i missed the most about not being in Khi. Whether it was the 12 o' clock midnite routine that im sure we would have passed over on this time, or the friends coming over to hangout for a little while, or the family dropping by en masse... i cant put my finger on it. Maybe it was the fact that i spend the whole day till 10PM in the evening in office working on a presentation. I dunno..

I just know something was missing... it brought a small lump to my throat when i thought about it.. and somehow the journey down memory lane seemed all the more morose and bluesy..

I think its the impending winters. For the first time in a long time I'm going to be in a place where i'll actually feel their impact. Winters are a funny time for me. I've always had my greatest upheavals in the winter solstice. It's no wonder the story of the "Snow Queen" (now a beautifully shot Birdget Fonda Classic) always spoke to me since the very first time i read it in the big fairytales book. It had pictures too. A little boy and girl with windows that met and they had roses growing right outside on the window sill..

I have a funny love hate relationship with the winter months. I LOVE the chill in the air, the pepperminty freshness when you're in Pindi, Isloo or Lahore.. Even in karachi theres that one week when you can wear your sweater and not break a sweat :)

At the same time, theres always been a wierd buzzing feeling in the pit of my stomach when winters roll around. Like somethings about to happen... and i'm never sure what it will be...

Its been the funniest of times.. never the best or the worst... just the funniest... in a funny sort of way... I guess i just dont like feeling cold. And in Karachi, feeling cold is a rarity :) so maybe thats it..

Im tired.. i go sleep..

Cheerios

Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright ?© Fars - FS 2004

:) happy happy glorious world

i'm elated...

i'm tired.. but elated.

For some odd reason...

and i cant be bothered to identify it :)

it was a nice day.. bloody hot but nice.. it was my map making colleagues birthday today.. so we got the cakes & the card :) it was nice. I love celebrating birthdays. Its such a joyous occassion.

You make fun of the advanced age. You make fun of other peoples advanced age. You laugh. You eat cake.

All round good time to be had by everyone..

me be off..

nice day today :)

take care
cheerios

Princess of the GemWorld


*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright ?© Fars - FS 2004

Life as i see it

Its amazing... everything falls into place. Sooner or later, no matter how convoluted life seems, it all falls into place.

I look at my reems of paper, filled with to do lists. I keep scribbling tasks over and over again just so i dont forget them.. Over and over again. The same tasks.. sometimes i feel like i get nothing done and sometimes i feel like i've conquered the world.

I'm eating too many chips nowadays. It doesnt bode well for me.. horizontally speaking. Explored the option of signing up for some physical activity. Its sad that i need to pay for the privilege of expending personal energy. Hoarding is a bad habit. I have a feeling its genetic.. something related to the female species.. not too sure though..

I was missing me a few days back... i have a nagging feeling i've lost me somewhere along the way.. theres too much happening all around me.. a flurry of activity that makes me disconnect from my environs because it just becomes too over whelmingly squiggly in my head.

Its like life has come round circle. I was born on a Thursday. According to the poem, Thursday's child has far to go. The illustration showed a kid with a little bundle tied to the end of a stick walking towards horizons unexplored. Thats me.

I've come pretty far, but the baggage remains. The umbilical cord refuses to be severed. The intense love and fury battle their way inside my heart, causing a confusion so extreme my mind shuts down completely. The puppet master strings refuse to be cut. Yet I fight every day within my self to convince myself that i am indeed free... to make my choices... to live my life. But so help me God, sometimes i just feel like i can't breathe. Its a constant battle reminding yourself that autonomy lies within you, not without. Its a constant battle to remind oneself that no matter what the elders think, you control your destiny as per God's design. And that's the bottom line.

In order to live that conviction, you have to let go. You have to disconnect. You have to learn to shut down. Its scary. But its a pre-requisite for living... YOUR life. Its not your life if every tom, dick n harry think they have a say in it. They dont.

Im pissed. Its amazing. All it took was a second. One second. One statement.. and then blinding fury for a flash before blood simmers down to a more containable level. Maybe its me.. maybe its my problem. Maybe I'm the complete antithesis of everything i was supposed to be..

But i'm happy.... within myself. I am content... deep inside. My life doesnt lack in any respect at present. And the present is all i have. Its all i want. I dont have any far reaching aspirations with regards to life... only the next 5 days... (it used to be 5 minutes)... 5 days is doable.. its rational.. its easy.

I like easy.. i have alot to thank Allah mian for... he never ceases to amaze me. In every aspect of my existence, he's ensured that i have bare minimum to complain about and everything to be thankful for... Thats not a small thing..

In retrospect to my life, i think every moment has been internally satisfying. I'm glad i'm not in Karachi anymore. Somehow the connotations associated with that fast paced city are a turn off now.. There's too much traffic, talk, socializing, gossip... baggage.

There's too much disappointment, trial and a sinking feeling of impending doom that tends to wash over me when i think about it.. There's a staleness wafting over the city.. Initially when i used to go back, i was yearning to breathe in the smoke infested air.. The lack of rain, the parched earth, the blazing sun.. were all welcome sights... and then slowly the spirit of Punjab seeped into my consciousness..

I started looking forward to fresh greens, trees lining the streets, freak storms in mid afternoon, globs of ice falling from the sky in the middle of summer.. i started appreciating the 3.5Hrs drive to Islamabad... the rich heritage... the brilliant sunsets.. i slowly started falling in love with the city that is finished in 30 minutes to either end..

There are multiple ways of getting to same place... atleast 6 different routes from point A to point B.. My colleagues highly proficient map-making skills ensured that i could get around relatively easily and get lost 5 times on any given day..

Theres laughter.. mostly mine.. in my workplace.. i love laughing.. i look for opportunities to do it.. if i dont find any, i create them. The people here are good. They're nice.. i like them. Being around them is like being surrounded by soft sunlight.. filtered through the cool leaves of a pretty green tree. The work moves fast, but the hearts are soft... you feel safe somehow.. protected. I like that too.

All in all, i guess im happy no matter where i am. I dont really think about it. I just let it wash over me. Life is good.

Its for the living.. In my world, everything is sublime. But its pretty.. in my mind i see flowers & spring.. and sleepy sunlight amidst shadowy glens.. hues of pink n purple and yellow daisies and blue forget-me-nots.. pretty ribbons streaming in the soft breeze and golden straw hats..

Thats where i live. The concept of worldly obligations or whats "Done" or "correct" is not a consideration... i believe in the inherent selfishness of mankind. I believe unless one is happy within oneself one can never try to spread happiness. Happiness comes from within. Its internally promulgated.. and I cant take the risk of making it dependent on external factors.

I hate the thought of not being happy.. i hate the thought of hurting... and while its limited in human terms to protect yourself to this extent, i think its the prudent thing to do. Its not fair to burden other people with the immense responsibility of ensuring your happiness. Its not a burden they will be able to carry. So why set yourself up for disappointment.

Its not that im overly independent.. although i am :) its just i believe in minimizing risk.. major reason why i dont play the stock market.

Alot of people keep asking me what im planning for my life.. They seem to think just because i moved to Lahore, i have a plan. NEWS FLASH: I NEVER HAVE A PLAN.
Life happens. I let it happen. I read a quote somewhere. Winners Do, Losers Plan.

lol:) i guess that would make me a bloody victor in every sense.. yeah yeah... laugh. I'll laugh with you :) i always looking for excuses...

Suddenly remembered when i was 5.. we were in Sialkot.. my dad had a motorbike.. and we used to go for ice cream nearly every other night .. My dad used to buy me Chocolate, Vanilla & Chocolate & Vanilla mixed.. all 3 cones.. nearly every other night... and just to pre-empt the obvious.. no i wasnt fat back then.. :)

It was a sweet memory.. I cling to those.. the sweet ones.. its a battle forgetting the bitter ones so they dont overshadow the sweet ones.. and i manage that battle well. I forget nearly everything thanks to the effort i put into forgetting :)

i go now.. theres still a funny feeling buried deep within my chest... i cant seem to put a finger on it.. its a funny, buzzing sensation... like somethings amiss... or waiting to burst forth..

Lets see what life has around the corner.. Allah mian hasnt disappointed me yet.. Inshallah, my unplanned life shall always be a happy one.. why?... because thats the choice i've made :)

love you guyz
cheerios

Princess of the GemWorld


*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright ?© Fars - FS 2004

Dithered thoughts...

When harry Met Sally... best damn movie of all romantic comedy times... i say that cause in my head the best damn movie of all time would always be Top Gun... closely followed by Before Sunrise... why i say that is anybodys guess...

Before Sunrise, the Ethan Hawke-Julia Delpy classic was a festival round movie... made on a low budget.. but filled with so much thought.. it was beautiful... like a perfectly played symphony... it flowed... and i dont use these words lightly... ever... for me the highest compliment that i can ever give to a work of art is "poetry in motion".. and it was.. it really was...

It somehow shed light on personal experience... the instant bond between two separate souls.. the ability to suddenly know friend from foe.. my overly (as has been expounded by several different persons on manifold occassions) trusting nature leaves me open to this phenomenon... instant bonds is something i experience on a daily basis.. its something i believe in... its something i leave myself open to... its something i refuse to fear...

There are a zillion different ways through which we can be hurt, betrayed and slain at the alter of misjudgement... but none of these are as counterproductive as fear... of life... of living.. of anything new and unexplored... you may as well stop breathing...

For some odd reason.. this train of thought is at odds with the general thought process of nearly every other human person i run across... i think by themselves no one is afraid. We all are supremely full of ourselves and believe fully that we are the masters of our destiny and actions. Its everyone else we're worried about. Its always with other people that we suddenly become merchants of doom and expound on every single calamity that could ever befall the human race.. its always other people that we believe to be gullible, prone to mistakes and overall inept and completely unable to function normally in this world because... well you know.. EVERYONE is out to get you...NOT ME... YOU!!... Yup.. now you got it.. :)

We keep doing the exact same things that we continue warning everyone else regarding. Prime example.. my finances... I can't even count the number of times i have lectured my little sales guy (at my previous employers) regarding the evils of overspending, going as far as to confiscate his ATM card so he wouldn't eat up all his funds.. and in the same month, i'd be hitting a Zero balance myself..

Hmm.. I for one certainly do NOT believe in leading by example. or as we say at my current employers.. "Walking the Talk"... well babes.. it ain't as easy as it lookest... Another prime example being Chips.. woe to anyone who would try to snare even ONE chip in my entire bagful of the lovely fried crispy potatoes... they will lose a finger if not the whole hand.. a freshly obliterated bag of Salt & Vinegar Lays will bear testament to this fact.. You should see me though when I lecture others on the evils of junkfood and its related ailments.. In this case however, its easy to see the self serving angle and so i guess this isnt one of the worlds best examples i could have quoted.

I guess the issue is that we as a race don't like leaving well enough alone. Why should someone be allowed to live alone in isolation? Of course they shouldn't.. *major sarcasm dripping there... life should be led according to how "I" see the world... of course it should.. *sarcasm overdose here..

Now "I" is always relative... obviously to the person utilizing this much abused pronoun.. Sigh.. i have a headache.. i thinks its all the salt in my system.. i need green veggies & fruits now.. sigh sigh sighhh...

Its ironic that sometimes the very things we believe in and practice come back to bite us in the.. ahem.. yeah yeah.. so i'm a relatively polite blogger... can't help it... so consider it said... Its like saying... and i am speaking metaphorically on a very highly metaphorical scale.. well its like saying.. vanilla and chocolate go well together.. and lets say i have believed that all my life.. i think vanilla & chocolate.. two harmless flavors can easily coexist in the same bowl, keeping all remaning things constant and ensuring temperatures remain below freezing.. So there you have it.. vanilla & chocolate... as different as night & day, yet easily compatible and may we say, even friendly in the same bowl..

Now all you have to do to counter the premise that vanilla & chocolate can coexist without any fireworks or overlaps affecting their individuality or personal space.. is... turn up the heat.. so there goes the entire premise out the window... EXCEPT... at the outset of the hypothesis we stated.. ALL THINGS REMAINING CONSTANT... so following the rules of the Hypothesis, we stand corrected.. and happily in our perfect world of freezing temp. zones, vanilla & chocolate will continue to coexist and have meaningful conversation regarding the weather and the best colors for icecream... they may even discuss innovations in flavors and... ok thats stretching it..

I guess what i surmise out of this convoluted train of thought is that everyone has their own idea of what the temperature is in life.. some like it hot.. others are ok with the arctic and then there are some like me... who sleep in blankys with ACs running full throttle, while the world outside is nice and balmy.. we're weird.. and we're far and few... the world is lucky...

i go have lunch & tea.. i need tea... ****caffiene deficiency alert... teeroun teeroun teeroun..

Cheerios dahlin's (had those for breakfast.. mmmmm :)

Princess of the GemWorld

*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright ?© Fars - FS 2004

letters from home...

i just got an email from my best friend in Merry ol' England... my heart swelled with joy.. :)

It brought back a rush of .... freshly baked cookies... fresh from the oven.. you know how you feel when they first come out and the entire house just swells up with the aroma... thats my best friend in England :)

and she wrote ... *doing a dance of joy around office... people staring quizzically and shaking their heads in resignation and acknowledgement of my lunacy...

And then we had a freak rain storm :) i mean wow.. you HAVE to love this place.. like seriously :)..

My friend Umy just got back from his trip up high to Swat. I'm sure he's got wayyy nicer shots to share. For my end, i went and explored the last remaining historical site in Lahore, which i hadn't seen since my relocation... Shalimar Gardens.


Shalimar Gardens, Lahore, Aug © Fariha Shah 2004 

The Gardens are pretty well maintained.. If you stick your feet into the fountains, the mossy bottom is wierdly slimy :) but the waters relatively clean... hopefully.. The gardens are structured on 3 levels.. the terraces stretch out with the fountains running amidst the centre and trees and green lawns lining both sides..


Step-by-Step Terraces, Shalimar Gardens, Aug © Fariha Shah 2004 

And then of course theres the wild life :)


Happy Squirrel, Shalimar Gardens, Lahore, Aug © Fariha Shah 2004 

Isn't he adorable :).. took me 17 shots before i finally got this one..

On a surprisingly rainy day, there was a crack in the sky...


Hope, Lahore, Aug © Fariha Shah 2004 

And as the clouds cleared away, twilight rushed forward to put out the sun...


Every Cloud has a Golden Lining, Lahore, Aug © Fariha Shah 2004 

It was like the clouds caught fire... softly...


Hues of Sunset, Lahore, Aug © Fariha Shah 2004 

Rushing home, if i could have paused on the Cavalry Bridge, i could have gotten a sunsetty cloud formation worth remembering. Alas my fear of the lahori traffic induced me to take this shot in mid flight...


Cavalry Bridge Sunset, Lahore, Aug © Fariha Shah 2004 

Followed by this one of the dark red horizon..


Cavalry Bridge Sunset 2, Lahore, Aug © Fariha Shah 2004 

Last shot details the same rushed on Cavalry Bridge Sunset... damn those clouds were pretty.. wish i'd had more time to shoot .


Clouds on the Move, Lahore, Aug © Fariha Shah 2004 

I've had an eventful, yet relatively uninspiring couple of weeks. Numbers numb my mind. And frankly thats all I've been dealing with these days. So its been pretty mind numbingly well... you know..

And im sure y'all were only too happy to be left alone so who cares anyway.. :)

I really need to wake up now though.. theres a whole world out there waiting to be explored.

I think i'm gonna learn to fly. :)

Take care sweetie pies..

Cheerios
Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright آ© Fars - FS 2004

zoink!

Shiny Happy People.... * sing song... heard it in Fahrenheit 9/11...

I actually fell asleep during the showing of the movie, coz i went to the midnight showing and was so damn tired i couldnt keep my eyes open.

NY was pretty... the wedding was amazing.. everything was perfect Mashallah.. I saw the Bourne Supremacy. Cool movie. Cant wait for the next sequel. Actually didnt take a single shot of the beautiful city of dubai. DOnt know why. Was supremely uninspired.

In NY all i shot were human subjects. very few nature shots. Did get some lovely sunsetty clouds...


Picture Perfect, Enroute to Jersey, 6th Aug 2004 


Sunset Sky, New Jersey, 7th Aug 2004 


Pink Sky, New Jersey, 7th Aug 2004 


The Manor, New Jersey, 8th Aug 2004 

Its a quiet day here in Lahore. It rained today. Cats n Dogs. Quite lovely. sigh... ok me off... im kinda zonked right now...
cheerios

Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004

OHMYGOD... HAILSTORM...

Well waddaya know... it was raining cats and dogs with big blobs of ice raining down from the skies straight onto my pretty blue civic... as each blob pelted it mercilessly, my heart jumped into my throat and ... well... thankfully stayed there and didnt try anything further...

But like OHMYGOD... the last time i remember seeing a Hail storm in lahore was when i was in 4th grade... that would be ... ok let me calculate.. 1986... yup that was it.. it was very freaky since our main atrium has a fiberglass ceiling and man.. it sounded like thunder..

i love the new blogger system.. now i can upload pictures and all.. :) so i thought i'd share a few pretty ones i have collected of Lahore thus far.. Lahore lends it self to photography even more beatifully than Karachi ever could.. everything is like a postcard for the PTDC.

Here are a few of the more famous tourist spots through my Sony Cybershots lenses..


Minar-e-Pakistan, Lahore, Pakistan © Fariha Shah 2004 


Noor Jehan's Mausoleum, Lahore, Pakistan © Fariha Shah 2004 


Sunset and Minarets, Badshahi Masjid, Lahore, Pakistan © Fariha Shah 2004 


Badshahi Masjid, Lahore, Pakistan © Fariha Shah 2004 


Holy Sunset, Badshahi Masjid, Lahore, Pakistan © Fariha Shah 2004 


Hiran Minar, Lahore, Pakistan © Fariha Shah 2004 


View from Cuckoos, Badshahi Masjid, Lahore, Pakistan © Fariha Shah 2004 


Twilight@Cuckoos, Lahore, Pakistan © Fariha Shah 2004 


Holy Twilight, View from Cuckoos, Badshahi Masjid, Lahore, Pakistan © Fariha Shah 2004 


Glowing Mosque, Badshahi Masjid, Lahore, Pakistan © Fariha Shah 2004 

:) i love me...

Princess of the GemWorld

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I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004