Abu

I will never ever stop thinking about him. I will never forget. I miss him today as much as I did three years ago. I had a flash back yesterday night where I relived everything in the last 4 days down to watching him take his last breath. I will never ever forget. Allah has blessed us a thousand times over. May he grant us a place in heaven with Abu.

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Fariha's Thoughts of the Day:

Reminiscences – Thank you GemWorld

I was going through my old blogs  and I got to Tuesday, March 16, 2004 (Blog... thy will be done... http://gemworld.blogspot.com/2004_03_01_archive.html) to the part where I am talking about how my nana taught me to ride a bike in Lahore

"Lahore was the place where i learnt to ride my bike... my nana taught me... he promised he'd hold on to the end of it and then let go.. i didnt even realize i was on my own till i'd already been around the lawn once."

And I suddenly saw a flash of abu teaching raiyna to ride a bike in our house 15 Cavalry Ground, Lahore. And my heart broke all over again. What am I doing?

I've been going through the archives on GemWorld for the past few days since Eid and been savoring the memories like a lovely hot samosa and a really good cup of tea

The golden cascade sunrise in DIK and the parathas and hot tea by the Indus

The summers with asi shaz n co, the dramatic role plays and peaky sneaky clubs

The spring of change and move to Lahore

The passion for Pakistan

The ramblings in general and my friends and cbm

Abu

2006. the last days

Me

My blog helped me preserve a lot of good memories, rich moments that I may have lost in the periphery of my existence if I hadn't written them down somewhere. It's a comforting thought that its preserved for me to revisit whenever I want to in life. I imagine when I am 60 or so (if I'm still in the land of the living, I may spend my days sitting on a porch with my laptop watching old movies and reading my blogs with a cup of hot tea & aaloo pakoras. I am also hoping against hope that I won't be fat & overweight and would be able to eat aaloo pakoras without overwhelming guilt.

Then I got reeeally nostalgic & decided to try to dig through my old harddrive. Some good stuff there. Found the Waffle directory – good ol Pegasus mail. Unfortunately… lol… couldn't read anything cause I was a serious security freak back then and I encrypted EVERYTHING. I mean EVERYTHING. The only directory I could read in notepad was the Jokes one. Lol… so I have all these memories… in gibberish thanks to my overzealous encryption and then I realized that I couldn't even remember the encryption keys because I used to receive messages and then resend them to myself encrypting them at that time so now no one would know the encryption keys except me. Also I think I had a different encryption key for each one of my friends. Oh lord. This is giving me a headache lol… rolling on floor laughing.

There was this one thing that I wrote once about stuff I liked.. starry skies, the seaside.. hot coffee on a cold winters day.. I wish I could read that again. Its somehow stuck in my head.

Yes yes. I am thoroughly, absolutely and forever more full of my self. Some things NEVER change J yee haw..

I went through every single folder.. I think.. couldn't find it in the English text. Wont recognize it in the gibberish.. or maybe it was in one of the folders in the B3025 account which is obviously long since dead and buried. Anyway, its probably time I wrote a new version to that one. I'm sure some things must have changed. Its weird though isn't it. How much we change when at every point in life it feels as if "this is it!". This is my life and the end all and be all of existence and then some how we dust ourselves off and take one step forward and another one and another one.. till nearly 10 years later you find yourself in a new time and place wondering how the devil you made it this far..

Anyway.. I have realized that I am carrying around a whole lot of trash on my portable hardrive that if I ever took the time to clear it I would have stupendous amounts of more space. I have each and everyone of my reports ever made in soft copy. Not to mention the 300 drafts of each along with all the images used inside each. Its unbelievable and somehow I know I will never, ever delete them. Darn. All those GBs.

And its so funny that as I come to this new place I realize that the men in my life never cursed around me. Mashallah. Or if they did I have blocked out those memories J but I recall that every time someone accidently does now and I think wow we were kept so respectfully mashallah. Pakistan has a lot to offer women J

Anyway.. its been a fun trip down memory lane… with many more trips to come.. inshallah..

Princess of the GemWorld 

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Fariha's Thoughts of the Day:

GoogleName: Fariha GemWorld

Blogspot: http://gemworld.blogspot.com

MSN Space: http://gemworldfars.spaces.live.com/

Say Goodbye - 20th Dec 2003

Say good-bye to not knowing when The truth in my whole life began Say good-bye to not knowing how to cry You taught me that…

(Madonna.. I'll remember)

Its ironic. The way the powers that be seem to give in abundance in the normal everyday run-of-the-mill aspects of life, but when you place undue importance on something, they seem to back away from their generosity and deprive you. It's as if, they're balancing the scale so to speak.

Logically explained, it makes plausible sense. He gives a lot where we take it for granted and holds back where you want it to most. That's when you realize all that he has done for you, because you cant even rant and rave and scream accusations to the tune of .. you never give me anything I want. Simply because he does, and he has and no matter how you look at it, you've been blessed a thousand times over. It's the thousand and one time that doesn't materialize and then pricks you like a thorn in your side as you try to desperately unravel the mysteries of our Lord Almighty's irrefutable logic. It's a fruitless exercise, since human understanding stands impotent in the face of the Almighty's vision of the world. And so with a sad resignation we look around ourselves and wonder… what next.

It's a saddening stage. It's a little scary too, because when you find yourself not able to control the surreal wheels of your destiny, you seek to demonstrate control in the physical environs of reality you find yourself in. Sometimes being backed in a corner can be the best thing that happens to a person. It forces you to look hard and long at every single thought, plan, relationship, belonging, aspect of your life and try to identify the root cause of your new cornered existence. Along the way you learn a lot. You learn what you're willing to give up in order to start living life on your terms again. You learn how hard you can be inside. You learn to what extent you're willing to inflict pain on those you love the most, just as long as you can exercise some control over your so-called life.

These dissertations don't come easy. They take a lot away from the person that you were. They force you to look hard and long at what holds you back and what you can live without. And at the end of the day, you stand bare and exposed like a tree in fall having lost all the external foliage that seemed to protect you from the real world, and at the same time bind you to it. As the leaves fall away, the true person emerges. There's no guarantee whether you'll like what you'll see. There are no guarantees to anything in life

Its ironic that guarantees are the one thing that we look for when making so many of our major decisions. Minimization of risk. Starting from finances, to selecting schools, to selecting life partners. We compromise on so many things, for that one little insignificant guarantee… that this has low risk. There's no such thing.

If there was, we would have all been born with little warranty tags attached to our big toes. Valid for 20 years ..or less.. God never gave us guarantees. He merely gave us life and told us to live.

He told us to live right, and live true and to live in harmony. I can live according to his will. I can't seem to abide by the will of his creations. You can only follow one path in your life. If you try to tread on too many, you will be torn and find the pieces of your being scattered unceremoniously across the pathways of life. 

Torn between the world that judges itself to be the master of fate and between the realization that you yourself cant even define your tomorrow.. the only thing that gives you strength is the knowledge that tomorrow… you could be dead. Life stinks and then you die…. But … there's no guarantee on that either J

I've come to the conclusion that its futile making plans and having dreams. Its futile and painful when you have to face the harsh face of reality and have it stick out its tongue in your face and say nyah nyah nyah… makes you want to reach out and … I wont go there.

And its impossible to live your life for the happiness of others. "Others" will never be happy. There'll always be something to make others miserable.. and any noble sacrifices you make in order to bring some happiness to every body else but yourself will only result in misery because only you will live in your reality… no one else. At the end of the day we live alone and we die alone.

The Almighty blesses us by sending us some angels you help us clear our heads and think. Who help us bring some illusionary perspective to the chaos resounding in our skulls… They pass through our lives like a soft spring zephyr and leave behind fragments of beauty that we cling to till they fade away with memories. They help us survive the deepest recesses of disappointment that we descend to and they magnify our happy moments ten fold… I love my angels. Forever and always.

Its hard being hard. Its hard knowing you can be. Its hard hurting people you know love you. Its hard saying "I don't give a shit". Its hard not crying when you feel like there's a dam waiting to burst forth. Its hard saying, "It's my life" and actually seeing it through. Its hard saying goodbye.

Bottom line, no one ever said life was easy. More often than not people live their lives for everyone but themselves. That's very noble. It also turns them into vicious beings that resent every one who seems to have a zest for living. Giving up for others is Sacrifice. Giving up on your self… that's called death.

You cant live a life if you're dead inside. I still have a lot to think about. I still have a lot of dreams to let go off. I still have a lot of sacrifices I don't want to make.

At the end of the day, the Almighty will guide me, but when it comes to the point where he asks me to make a blind choice on the forked road.. I may refuse to make a choice at all and just wait there, till he gives up and shows me the way. No one can force you to follow a path unless you choose to do so. Because you'll have to walk that path on your own two legs. I don't know if the Almighty gives up though so it may be a long wait..

But I'll have my angels with me.. J

You have powers you never dreamed of. You can do things you never thought you could do. There are no limitations in what you can do except the limitations of your own mind.

Darwin P Kingsley

Fariha

Sunday dec 20^th 2003

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Fariha's Thoughts of the Day:

GoogleName: Fariha GemWorld

Blogspot: http://gemworld.blogspot.com

MSN Space: http://gemworldfars.spaces.live.com/

Birthdays and bashes

:) at the ripe old age of what I have turned today … sigh.. I will eventually get around to saying it out loud but for now I will refrain.. it leaves a lot to look to forward as against earlier expectations. When I was younger the milestones were different. When I was 5, 1st grade was a big deal. When I was in 3rd grade, 5th grade seemed really far off. When I was 12, 13 was miiiiles away. When I was in 8th grade, 10th grade girls were fully grown adults. When I was 14, 16 was supposedly the epitome of existence. And then I turned 16 and it… well I mean ok so I started inter and went to college but it wasn't really SUCH a big deal. Anyway at 16, (you got it!) 18 was the next big thing and then it came and went. In retrospect it may have been a big deal in the sense it was my first birthday with (ohmygoodness) boys in it.. much to the dismay of my dearest darlingest Abu :) who couldn't quite understand the need for that :) .. I miss him sooo much. Anyway at 18, 20 didn't seem like a big deal. In fact I think I used to forget how old I was once I passed 18 quite frequently. And I still do :) lol. Maybe I never moved beyond that 18-yr-old mindset. I'd to think that I did though. I'd like to think that I've grown. But when my 2-yr old tells me to "stop it" while waving her adorable little finger in my face, usually when I have done something not quite right in her adorable little point of view, I don't really feel very old at all. I feel small and silly. I guess each individual human mind reaches a plateau at a certain point in their lives. That's the height of your emotions & creativity. That's when your learning is accelerated and your sensitivities are heightened. That's when you feel so much that you feel you can burst and you write these long emotional dialogues to yourself that you want the whole world to read and marvel over. Its when you want the fame, the recognition, the appreciation all from external sources because somehow what's inside you just isn't enough. There's this gaping emptiness that refuses to filled, no matter how many friends you have.. no matter how long you talk on the phone.. no matter how many times you blast the music in the car and scream down the seaview boulevard. When it's all over you still come home empty craving for more. I now know that's hormones to reduce it to a biological phenomenon. Its also a deep inner impulse that drives all those who haven't been taught how to tamp down their emotions and haven't learnt the meaning of "Sacrifice" by the time they have turned 16. Because I know. I know that not all kids were like us. I knew kids who didn't have any issues not screaming away to loud blaring music… I knew kids who didn't have the avenues of entertainment & escape we were exposed to. And I knew that while they missed it, they were peaceful within themselves to an extent because they knew it was a sacrifice for a greater end.. which at 16 seems really far away. Of course we had more fun :) and more funky memories of everything that we grew up in. Memories that when savored on their own without the bindings of what followed and how the future was shaped are very dear and highly enjoyable. Especially if I read my diary :) I had a great literary sense of humor (to blow my own horn). Hats off to our parents, especially my parents, my dear darling adorable wonderful parents, who had the gumption to live through it all with us. The late night pick ups and drop offs that my Abu did, were nothing short of angelic. I love him. I miss him and inshAllah in the end I strive my hardest to have a place with him. Its scary when you think of that chemical biological evolution as being an inevitable part of life. I don't like thinking about it since I now have kids and I remember how excruciating it can be sometimes. Everything just seems more intense when it really isn't. Or maybe as we grow older the passion in us simmers down and finally dies out so we don't feel as much as we used to. Its all better now. You kill some feelings. You come to terms with others. You keep wondering about the rest. But a lot of the acceptance & belonging issues get ironed out by the time you hit 28 because for better or for worse you learn to somehow love yourself. You realize that that's all that you are and that all that you will ever have and hence you need to make the best of it. You stop feeling rejection in the true sense of the word because you have found acceptance within your self and now you know where you belong. I wish I can instill this emotion in my children from when they are 5 onwards so they never have to second guess anything about themselves. I hope my children never have to wonder if I love them; they should KNOW beyond the shadow of a doubt that I do just the way I knew. I hope I can raise them with even stronger values then my own. I hope I can teach them everything my mother and father taught me about honesty & family, right & wrong and I hope that when I guide them they accept my guidance by the grace of Allah. I hope they can achieve the inner calm, constant optimism and a stubborn disregard for anything negative, the way I have, very early on so they never have to go through the bouts of indecision or confusion that we all do. I pray that Allah is kind to them and to us and that we all end up in a truly happy place once our sojourn in this world ends. Ameen. ******************************************************************************************** Fariha's Thoughts of the Day: GoogleName: Fariha GemWorld Blogspot: http://gemworld.blogspot.com MSN Space: http://gemworldfars.spaces.live.com/

Belhasa - May 23rd 09 - Old Blog

Forgot to post this one. Wrote it on the phone and it kinda got left there..
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May 23rd 2009 - Belhasa Driving School

Sitting at the driving school. Just had my assessment and against all odds actually passed. Road test next milestone. Allah khair karey. had a double whammy in terms of diet plan. 1st had an omelette cheese veggie sandwich with tea (dhs 5 only) before the assessment and then to celebrate had a paratha & mixed veggies afterwards (again dhs 5 only). Gotta love this cafeteria. I will now not eat ANYTHING for the rest of the day. Seriously. Heading off now to take care of alot of pending things to dos. Bank, blinds, curtain wall hooks, pediatricians, bells, electric & carpentering stuff. Trying to find someone who can drill a nail into the wall is like trying to find water in this desert. Sigh sigh. And we have a fair amount of nails left to be drilled. Am thinking of buying a drill and doing it all myself. I observed quite closely the first time we managed to get someone to come over for nail drilling. Huge DIY culture here. Very alien to my basic frame of mind although i enjoy the occassional IKEA with instructions. But nail drilling in walls is a bit much.

I have decided to from today put a complete stop on unhealthy food. Which basically means i will starve. I guess there wont be any ramblings after that. Sigh sigh.....

Cheerios


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I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004 to inifinity

Reminders of Home

So I went to Beirut. It was nice. It reminded me of Karachi. I have a feeling after a while everyplace reminds one of home. Its an interesting phenomenon.. seeking out the familiar.. the memorable.. in everything and everyone around us.

The first thing you notice about someone are any similarities they may have to someone else. I’m generally trying to match each new face to which Hollywood actor they match.. (one day I hope to hit the Jackpot with a Brad Pitt lookalike ;) )It’s the overwhelming urge in human beings to categorize into familiar boxes each thing that they come across to kill the fear of the unknown.

So I went to Beirut. And it was nice. Apart from the market dynamics and the socio-economic structure mimicking that of Karachi to certain extent.. with nice office buildings being flanked by rundown highrises housing the relatively less well off.. and a newly built downtown that has risen out of the ashes of the destruction wrought on the city 3 years ago.. the city seemed to have a certain bohemian character. The co-existence of the east and west cultural threads seemed on the surface quite harmonious.. which was interesting.

I saw huge supermarkets, slightly smaller supermarkets, an amazing basketball/football playground that was teeming with children of all ages and sizes and overflowing with energy.. it just brought a smile to your face. I was amazed at how sporty itty bitty little kiddies could be.. all the while guzzling Gatorade :)

I saw the cutest manakeesh place with a very traditional oven and lots of yummies being cooked inside.

There was this really nice mall next to the Habtoor Grand that had the same Italian style ceiling where the sun could shine through a la Mercato.

The night was quite pleasant in terms of the humidity and the outdoor area of the nice place with very good Lebanese food in Ashrafiyeh. I forget the name of the chaps dad who he had named the place after.. but he had his dads old vintage white mercedes.. aha.. it was called Al-falamanki and all the plates were old and everyone had a different design (as pointed out by my guide for the day) because the idea was that it came from his grandmothers kitchen :).. quite a personable place. The grilled chicken was lovely, the zaater manakeesh was very nice… overall it was a memorable experience. Should have taken a picture of the food..

The clientele ranged from the younger set (relatively :)) to the older set and everyone in between.. One young lady arrived wearing sparkly silver shoes which sparked inquiries amongst her friends “why’d you change your shoes?” .. “we have to go to the budha bar afterwards”.. lol.. and this was not even the weekend..

I missed out on actually walking the streets of downtown Beirut which I have been told is an experience not to be missed. And all my new acquaintances told me I had to come back and actually spend some time just getting a feel of the city.. the coolest part I was told about the city was that in the winters you can go to the beach and an hours drive later you can go skiing in the mountain.. how cool is that!!

So that was that.. an interesting and enlightening travel experience. The gist of it is, no matter where you go, you're always searching for home.

Sandwiches & Tea

i just took a few pictures from my phone camera and they're not bad.

the Belhasa Driving School Cafeteria i mentioned in Realm of the Desert with the empty plate and cup signifiying the only remains of my 6 dirham sandwich and tea combo. i was just telling my cubicle mate at work about the delicious toasted egg n cheese omelette sandwich with fresh coleslaw and frenchfries INSIDE the sandwich :) and a piping hot cup of sweet tea at the Belhasa cafeteria. The taste of food is inversely propotional to how much you've paid for it. i have yet to have horrible tasting free food. somehow thats never happened. i think the euphoria of having free food masks any negative aftertastes.

anyway.. i will now endeavor to snap silly pictures of inanimate objects and share the visual experience..

Cheerios

Princess of the Gemworld

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I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004 to inifinity

a late blog

i wrote the below blog last week. Then Allah mian sent me lots of blessings. so there i was feeling all alone. and sad and forgotten. and then me fwiend anie called me up and said lets do a girls morning out.. movie and breakfast. and my hungry little tummy jumped for joy.. :) so saturday morning bright n early at 10:30am amidst protesting husbands we set out on our girls only outing bursting with excitement and joy uncontained. and it WAS FUN. first we hopped over to Ibn-e-Batuta and saw 17 Again which my hubby wouldnt have watched like ever. both anie and i love silly high school movies :) im so happy. and then we came out all teary eyed at the grand finale sigh sigh and went to this totally adorable cafe restaurant called The LimeTree. was slightly expensive in my opinion but the eggs florentine was nice and the chocolate cake was very nice too. my vanilla chai was below expectations but i shouldve investigated that. i will return to try the caramelised banana pancakes with maple syrup.. yummmmy... and we talked and talked and talked.. something we hadnt done for sooo long.. :) i came home happy. then i installed the webcam and showed hareem shareem the blinds in action :) lol.. it was so exciting. then Pakistan won the T20 Championship and it was the icing on the proverbial doughnut lol.. we had doughnuts at work to celebrate courtesy insights :) and i spoke to Geet and Sara and Hareem and Anie and smsd Als and it was so great. and today a dear friend is visiting and another dear friend is planning to visit sometime this year inshAllah :) future joy.. .MashAllah... All the good stuff is nearly making me forget the slight back pain i have developed as of yesterday afternoon between my shoulder blades accompanied by tingling sensations up and down my spine. the hypochondriac in me is imagining the worst. hmmm.. may Allah mian keep us all in his protection and favor and bless us and our nation with peace, health & prosperity. its been a long time coming.. joy to the world :) ____________________________________________________ it feels like theres noone left in the world. Theres no one to call. No one to make plans with. No one to go to a nice restaurant with. I feel alone yet at the same time i have no time to be alone. Its wierd. There has descended a complete lack of feeling other than spontaneous frustration upon my being and i can lay the blame at alot of doors but not at Allah mians. Hes trying to give me lots to be happy about. And i am to a large extent. I just want to feel like ive made it. U know. Like inspite of all the negativity and the questions and yes even my own lack of drive, i want to believe that inspite of me ive made it. is that possible?

I dont know.

As usual the insecurities are my most loyal companions. They never leave. I ignore the hell out of them sometimes. But woh bhi dheet hain. All it takes is one little clink and they rear their ugly heads ready to strike.

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we end with joy.. :) cheerios

Princess of the GemWorld

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Fariha's Thoughts of the Day:

GoogleName: Fariha GemWorld

Blogspot: http://gemworld.blogspot.com

MSN Space: http://gemworldfars.spaces.live.com/

a morning walk

its funny. i remember writing an essay on the same topic in 10th grade. :) so i got up at 5:50am in the morning and decided to go for a walk. For a change, i decided to go to the big lake. it was looking pretty. the sun was just rising over the horizon. it hadnt gotten hot yet. i started walking keeping my pace slow so i could enjoy the experience. tried catching the grassy aroma of fresh grass but my olfactory lobes felt a little slow. did manage to catch wiffs of natures smells here and there, some flowers, fresh leaves. but it wasnt overwhelmingly fresh like briarcliff. there were the beautiful white flowers with yellow centres growing on the trees. the sort that were in nanas garden in 2B link avenue. i used to collect those in plates while i was younger :) saw a sign for a garage sale from 8am to 10am today with books and toys. thinking of going. hmmm... there was this nice old gentleman walking who said "morning" as we crossed. i responded in kind. there was this special comeraderie between us "morning walkers" :) i had seen him around the small lake a couple of days ago at around the same time :) i have a "morning" friend lol. there were very few people on the walkway in the morning. and it was nice and serene as i waslked by peeking into peoples back yards looking at the peices of their lives lying outside telling a story. suddenly i heard a hello in a little voice and i looked up at a lawn and there was a little girl, about 4 years old sitting on her bicycle giving me a huge crinkle eyed smile :) i smiled back and went on my way.. i passed this other old gentleman who looked from our part of the world and reminded of nana so badly i had a latent urge to suddenly turn back and hug him. kept thinking of nana standing there in this white vest and shorts surveying the garden as he did every morning and tending to his roses and other plants. near the end of the track after i had walked the ENTIRE very very long width of the big beautiful lake,i came to a point where the ducks had come out of the lake and were walking around trying to dry themselves off. they wagged their feathery little tails lol and looked so cute and adorable. i wished i had raiyna with me and my camera. she wouldve gotten a total kick out of it. finally i made my way back home and started writing every thing i had been thinking on my walk that i would share and suddenly i heard a door knob turning upstairs and a slightly weepy "ami".. rushed up the stairs to find a sleepy head Raiyna on the 1st step of the stair case so now shes in my lap relaxing while i type this out :) its been a good morning :) cheerios Princess of the GemWorld ******************************************************************************************** Fariha's Thoughts of the Day: GoogleName: Fariha GemWorld Blogspot: http://gemworld.blogspot.com MSN Space: http://gemworldfars.spaces.live.com/

another day another cookie

i had one cup of tea and i saw cookies being taken into another room. i wanted cookies. i didnt get those cookies (nice cadbury ones). i did however get a shortcake cookie from a good samaritan. so now im happy. ******************************************************************************************** Fariha's Thoughts of the Day: GoogleName: Fariha GemWorld Blogspot: http://gemworld.blogspot.com MSN Space: http://gemworldfars.spaces.live.com/

Realm of the Desert

I feel the urge to blog again. But i am undecided whether the expression should be limited to GemWorld or should there be a parallel expression on facebook. I don't use facebook that much. I had actually stopped feeling alienated in life after my daughter was born and so lost my urge to expel my emotions through another medium, but ever since arriving in the maelstrom of this desert, i have felt the urge return with a force. I am feeling the overwhelming need to reach out and have a meaningful conversation with someone and I cant find anyone physically present who wants to listen to me. Everyone here has their own stories to voice and like me no one to voice them to. It's like being surrounded by a cacophony of voices which all merge together to just become meaningless noise since no one can be bothered to pay attention. Its made me feel a bit sad.

I hadnt had time to feel sad in a while now. It's been a funny experience having it return. Or maybe it's just hormones. I fine myself welling up watching Star Plus while my husband stares with unrepentant distaste and vocalizes his amazement at why I watch the soaps in question. Because it's mindless I guess. U don't have to use a single iota of your brain for this kind of entertainment. I have however realized that my threshold for negativity has reached new lows. I can't stand a second of negativity and have literally been confined to watching the Disney channel to ensure a happy frame of mind. So we have Hannah Montana n Wizards of Waverly place while my nearly two year old angel shouts ca-toon from the sidelines forcing me to change channels mid show. The thing I dreaded the most has finally happened. We now have another contender for the remote control. Lol.

I spent yesterday fixing up the DVD player and after buying a really long AV cable finally sat down and re-watched Jaane tu ya jaane na. Kya unt movie hai yaar. I love it. Everyones expressions, dialogue deliveries, the narrative, the pace, the positivity, the humor. That's my movie for forever. I will always love it, cherish the images and the wonderful happy positivity it leaves my mind floating in. The high was perfect and low wasn't too low or too long. It\s officially my new second favorite desi movie after Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. I haven't watched it enough to replace KKKH in my sentiments as yet. But since I brought that and not KKKH, chances are that the replacement may happen sooner rather than later. Also I heard they are making a sequel to JTYJN, which is awesome! I hope it comes out really soon.

My new connection doesn't have GPRS but apparently all the malls have wifi. Not that I've noticed. I'm generally too busy moaning about my aching feet or keeping Raiyna in check to do anything on the phone while malling. Malling is a full time activity after all. Yesterday after being here for 23 days I finally had my first Burger King Junior Whopper (with cheese, hold the onions). It was good. I can't believe I'm saying this but I think I'm slowly losing my urge for food. It's happened ever since I got here. There's too much of it and it all tastes nearly the same. I've only had one Caramel Machiato since I got here  and end up usually ordering English Breakfast Tea (with HOT Milk) whenever I go to Starbucks. I don't know what's happening to me. Is this called old age? Don't think I'm liking it much.

I have found this little canteen at the Belhasa driving school and I go there after every class and have a cheese omelette sandwich on toast with fresh cucumbers n lettuce in it with a piping hot cup of tea. All for DHS 6. Its my favorite meal of the day. Sitting around watching people, learner drivers, instructors, etc., walk in and out busy in their lives, it makes me feel more alive then I do anywhere else in this city as yet. I guess it's also because here everyone nearly is in transit. Very few people would call it home. For everyone it's kind of being on a really long business trip. Numbs the mind after a while. I'm going to give it a fair chance. I'll let everyone around me try to prove they're human and not machines running on automode. I miss home. I miss mobilink, my domestic help, my mom, my dadijan, my car, my driver, my office people in both cities, my internet, my printer, my scanner, my tailor, my mochi,... Dear God i miss my sunday bazaar. I miss my dvd store and my beauty works. I miss chatkharey, CTC, aylanto, ciao.. I even miss bbq 2nite. Oh and I also miss liberty books and my entire family, cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents.. I am seriously homesick and I thought only Raiyna was feeling that way. But she's not the only one. I'm feeling the same way. I just hadn't acknowledged it till I started writing this blog. May Allah do what is best for all of us. Cheerios...

Princess of the Gemworld

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Fariha's Thoughts of the Day:

GoogleName: Fariha GemWorld

Blogspot: http://gemworld.blogspot.com

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Twilight & Other stuff

ive lost my ability to express myself. i think. i used to be quite coherent. i think i should go back to the paper and pen diary so i feel more secure in my self expression. its funny how we all want to be heard and recognized and yet still keep so much of ourselves to ourselves. the fine line is easily blurred. so i catch up on the trends albiet a little late :) i watched Twilight. it was neat. then i went to the stephaniemeyer.com site and read the draft of Midnight Sun which i hope she finishes soon. it was a good read. then i wasnt sure if the books would be selling here, so i googled and googled till i found a good samaritan who had uploaded the PDFs to all four. Downloaded those. Read through them over the next 3 days. Post that i wanted to compare Twilight with Midnight Sun (soo much better than Twilight - or maybe thats because Edward thinks alot more so you get way more information about him and every one else when you're in his mind). so i did a parallel reading run where i read one chapter of Midnight Sun and then the same chapter in Twilight. when the MS draft finished i just read Twilight to the end. obviously there was the latent interest in the YouTube clips, the articles & photos. But after a week of Twilight Mania, I think I am finally ready to move on. As it is Twilight/Midnight Sun was my favorite book of the series. I dont like triangles. i prefer my romances to contain their complications and their triumphs within the dominion of the two main characters. beyond that it just gets messy. Anyway, my toplines are.. it a very nice movie. I want to wait for the DVD release now because the print i saw left alot in the dark and i for the life of me couldnt understand why they had to make Robert Pattinson wear such a dark shade of lipstick throughout the movie. i came up with alot of theories like because hes supposed to be drinking blood and all.. but it still didnt make sense. it make watching the whole flick a little weird. i mean no hollywood movie had ever been so in your face with the male lipstick piece. It wasnt until i saw the theatrical trailer on the website :) that i realized that the lipstick part was actually a function of the camera print and not hehe catherine hardwickes fault.. lol.. he actually looks human in the high quality version. so we'll just wait till march i guess to see what the movie actually looks like. i absolutely love the score. the music spoke to me from the first opening scene down to the very end. Carter Burwell is a musical genius. he made the music speak. it was an alive, vibrating presence throughout the movie. it was like a character by itself with dialogues and emotions. it was unbelievable. so i wondered where the hell can i get the musical score and again google to the rescue. downloaded the entire score piece by piece. hauntingly lovely. sigh. now i had decided my mania needs to be laid to rest so im going to flip in Shahrukh's latest offering "Rab ne bana di jodi" and offer my peaked mind some regular fast food fare. i had a choice between this, "vicky cristina barcelona" and "Jaane Tu"(in a very good print), but while "Jaane Tu was really tempting, i decided something new was called for. my felicitations to the cast, crew and creator of Twilight. it must be amazing to watch your visions come to life. Stephanie Meyer must be the worlds happiest person right now. its seriously like breathing life into your dreams for her since the idea apparently came from a dream. Goes to show there is merit in majoring in English :) ******************************************************************************************** Fariha's Thoughts of the Day: GoogleName: Fariha GemWorld Blogspot: http://gemworld.blogspot.com MSN Space: http://gemworldfars.spaces.live.com/