Tuesday, March 23, 2004

....I still believe in fairies.....

…I think I always will..

I don’t shun reality. Some would disagree. But I don’t. I have nothing against it as long as it has nothing against me. Which is usually not the case.

But I don’t shun it. I don’t hide from it. I don’t run away from it.

I simple refuse to acknowledge it!

That’s not so bad now. What’s with reality’s overwhelming urge to be recognized anyway… egomaniacal little stuffed shirt!

I’m happy with my fairies. Their resident innocence.. The sense of eternal wonder they evoke.. The purity they represent…

I don’t believe in bad fairies… they’re like little angels puffed up with pixie dust and good intentions. Witches can be mean. Fairies..? No!

It’s just not done!

Makes you wonder doesn’t it. Makes you question the level of development of the human mind. Makes you weigh logic versus lunacy and leaves you lost. Because there IS no argument. There is no defense, no reasoning, no explanation that will weaken my stand on the glimmering borderline of the world of men and the kingdom of Oberon and Tatiana. The world of men doesn’t stand a chance against the sparkling glow of the fairy kingdom.

It would defy logic if it did. Now THAT would be a real problem :)

The defiance of logic isn’t taken lightly in this day and age. Logic is the new Red!… lol.. such a fashionista term there.. but it’s the truth.

The connoisseurs of fantasy and all things unreal are termed off-balance and ohmygod.. DREAMERS!.. Is it even possible for people to be audacious enough to indulge themselves in such frivolous pastimes in this day and age?… :)

Well.. to put it quite bluntly.. You bet your aquamarine(read “feerozi”) colored brilliantly sparkly little civic it is! (that car makes me ask the question WHY… more times then the ending of The Bridges of Madison county! … and that’s saying something!!)

The real problem I believe lies in the utter disbelief most realists express towards the entire notion of fantasy. To completely disregard the premise of the existence of a plane removed from reality is to deny the very idea of infinite possibility itself. In effect we move from a “what if” to a “definitely not” frame of reference in a nanosecond with no possibility of restoration.

Who wants to live like that? Without imagination.. without the freedom of thought that many would say separates us from Gods other creations.. without the unrelenting belief in the goodness and purity of mankind & beyond, all the while staring despair in the face… without the promise of true love… without the unceasing quest for perfection… without fairy dust and sparkles.. without the tiny hope that maybe the Faraway Tree and the Land of Goodies is not just a baseless fantasy for selling child fiction (go Enid!)…

I love my dragons and elves… I love my sprites and pixies… I love enchantments and magic… I love mother nature, her being the greatest magician of all.. I love finding stories in the canvas of the sky… I love looking for hidden messages in the glimmering depths of the stars… I love knowing that no matter how dull, dreary and terminally unbearable life may become, I will still have my enchanted kingdom to return to..

There are many who term this escapism… they call it cowardice and an inability to look life in the face.. they bemoan my future and relegate me to the long list of failures they believe will never amount to much since we have no direction.. no objective…. No long term plan :)

Hah.. I laugh in the face of long term planning…

We live in the atomic age.. we cant even predict a tomorrow.. well I mean no one can ever predict a tomorrow save for God Almighty himself… but now with total annihilation just a button away from the fingertips of really loony people, we cant really be expected to put faith in the continuity of life as we know it.

Who needs to?… the best laid plans of mice and men .. so on and so forth.. you know where this is going, don’t you!?

Sighhhh… the best defense is a really bizarre statement of _expression! Bewilder your opponent with stuff he just can’t comprehend and consider your battle won :) but make sure you fight on home ground. In the arena of logic, consider yourself slain before you have emitted a single frustrated sigh.

Our battlefield is removed from the ironies of reality.. far removed from the incessant drone of the routine and systemic destruction being borne down upon the recognized world. Us dreamers of the extraordinary, believe in the heartwarming magic spun by love, we believe in the healing powers of hot chocolate and the endorphins that can invade the human system at the first sight of a really breath taking sunset. We latch on to all those ephemeral frivolities that allow our lives to rise above the mundane.

Conversely it is this same train of thought that forces us to deny reality… to defy logic… to enforce a mindset as far removed from discipline as possible. It gives rise to chaos heretofore unheard of, and through this chaos the true expression of self is given birth and bursts forth in a brilliant flash of truth. But again truth as we know it is open to conjecture & those residing on Planet Reality will misconstrue it as they wish, to further validate their initial judgments regarding the dark, dreary and sadly misdirected future of the idealists.

But wait a minute… did someone say future?! What future?!

The best part of being relegated to the bottom of a long list of no-good, never-will-amount-to-anything failures is that you never have any expectations to live up to. Apart from your own which of course extend beyond the realms of the seven skies. Somehow disappointing oneself is a whole lot more bearable then extending the circle to include the self-righteous rabble surrounding one.

Regardless, the dreaming continues… the wishes continue to spew forth in gay abandon… the stars never cease to glimmer in the velvety darkness of the night sky… and neither does the hope that all that we can imagine.. all that can possibly be dreamt up whether of this reality or beyond.. all that we believe will complete us… is capable of crossing over the great divide between the world of man and the realm of the whimsical.

…. And I still believe in fairies….

Fariha
4th feb 2003

Princess of the GemWorld

*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004

The Fight to Live...

Didnt feel like writing anything.. so something old..

***** The Fight to Live *****

I walk,
through the desert,
of my life.
The heat,
The sand,
The hot, hard sun
are the only realities
of my wayward life.
The zephyrs blow,
across the sand,
Tears fill my eyes,
as i dream about my land;
Once fertile and lush,
Yet now,
scarred and burned -
a charred skeleton
of its former self.

I wander through the haze,
a neverending maze,
of the sand dunes soft.
Yet i know
the softness is deceptive
disguising the scorching sand
with an inviting glow,
while burning its prey,
with the molten heat.

I stumble,
I fall,
Yet I find the strength
to rise again.
I've retained hope,
even through my shattered illusions...

Suddenly i see,
through the sand in my eyes,
a flower sprouting,
in this great valley of death.
It's fragile head,
lolling against the weak stem.
Yet it survives;
I can't believe my eyes.

Behold,
A magical miracle,
in a land where sand swirls,
with a blinding fury,
an innocent flower unfurls,
it's gentle petals,
and strives to survive,
in the maelstorm of anger,
into which it was born.
A child unprotected,
in a barbaric land.
I find new purpose in my life,
for the preciousness of life,
is revealed to me,
It's power,
It's strength,
It's indomitable will....
And now I know I was sent
to nurture this miracle,
to ensure its survival...

For Death is inevitable..
One day claiming us all..
But the secret of life
Lies within us....
....The struggle to survive..
....The Fight To Live!

April 4th 1994

Princess of the GemWorld

*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004

Saturday, March 20, 2004

Home Ground

Back on home ground... ahhhh Karachi... my city by the sea where the palm trees doth strivest to grow and yet die an early death at the hands of the wind velocity and apparently salinity in the air...
but Ahhh Karachi..

Thats my city... Home is here. Life... my computer... my cable... sigh..
All here.
Like i keep saying, transition not sunk in. Inshallah it wont sink in. Its easier that way.

I miss me sometimes. Miss me and the time i had to think of everything in the universe. There are some definitive advantages of being an only child. One of the greatest is that you develop a very unique view of the world untempered by any other opinions or influences. Its your and yours alone. Simply because thats all you have. But thats ok.

I remember vividly a beautiful day in Dera Ismail Khan, back in '89.. someone was leaving.. and it was before sunrise.. we were all assembled outside the house seeing them off.. and slowly the sunrise started happening. The first rays of the sun slowly seeped through the blue gray clouds, their golden glow slowly penetrating the gray gloom... the clouds cracked to let the initial burst of sunlight through.. until there were three chunks of golden sunlight pouring down from amidst the gray blue globs of clouds... it was like a golden cascade... it was beautiful.. and somehow reminded me of the british flag the way the three bursts were aligned against one another in the morning sky..

It was a beautiful day.. there were breakfasts by the Indus River... hot parathas and doodh patti... i have yet to have a more enjoyable breakfast anywhere... the sheer pleasure was on a whole different plane... i guess thats the difference between childhood and everything else.. the colors are brighter.. the memories the warmer.. and the food always tastes wayy more delicious in retrospect...

*** Har ghari badal rahi hai roop zindagi ... chaaoun hai kabhi.. kabhi hai dhoop zindagi
har pal yahan.... jee bhar jeeoo.. jo hai sama... kal ho na ho..


Watched the movie everytime my cable wala showed it... although in the beginning i was determined to boycott it since Shahrukh Khan dies in the end.. i'm kinda particular about how my heroes end up... the only reason i sat through Devdas was Aishwariyas wardrobe.. (worth every second :).. But i just get hooked onto to KHNH... just like one gets hooked onto DDLJ, KKHH, K3G(which to this day i insist should be 3KG... i guess that didnt weigh in too well with the nicknamers :).. so now i've watched KHNH like 8 or 10 times and bawled my eyes out each time.. its highly therapeutic... major stress release u know... crying like mad... IT IS I TELL YOU... sniff..

Anyway.. thats all folks... i dont feel like sharing today... so bugger off...

Princess of the GemWorld

*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Blog... thy will be done...

My blogs been ignored. Massively.
Not good. couldnt help it. Went from one transition to the next without even thinking about it. Atleast right now the mind is still working. Things seem to be making sense.. i can only pray they continue to do so. Life in general is as simple as one wants to perceive it as being..

Hence, simple perception... here i come..
Lahore.. is nice. Its .. umm... nice. I have no other words to describe it. Its quite... nice. Its old. Makes me nostalgic. Makes me feel 8 years old again and back in 3rd grade... that wasnt such a great time.. i barely had any friends.. and i'm pretty sure i was still a wannabe.. and once i even got into trouble in school during the annual mela...

Lahore was great back in 86 & 87... there was a bhutta wala .. the proper raakh mein bhunain huay bhuttay... right outside my Cathedral school on Abid Majeed Road.. there was the horse n cattle show at fortress every year and the Tattoo show.. which was basically fireworks.. i dont know WHY they called it Tattoo.. but there you had it.. Lahore was the city where i first saw Superman, Supergirl & the entire Star Wars trilogy and fell irrevocably in love with Luke Skywalker as all females of the time were apt to doing... Lahore was the place where i learnt to ride my bike... my nana taught me... he promised he'd hold on to the end of it and then let go.. i didnt even realize i was on my own till i'd already been around the lawn once.

We used to live in Cavalry Grounds.. Lahore was much smaller then.. now its bigger. more cars. more traffic. Much better traffic as compared to the last decade. They really cracked down hard on the loony lahori drivers.. it wasnt even funny how badly the Lahoris liked to drive... ainj lagda si abhi abhi pind toun aaein aan... sorry.. thats all the punjabi i know so far. I will however endeavor to improve, trying not to sacrifice my urdu in the middle of it all :)

Life is taking on a whole new perspective. Everything seems really far away. And yet really close. But nothing seems to register except the enormous amount of learning still ahead of me. It numbs the mind to all else because theres no space left for any other data.

i have no plans for the future right now. The future is limited to the next 5 minutes. In some ways thats a bad thing, as always i lack long term vision :) but in some ways its the most freeing sensation in the world. I'm so tired i cant even feel tired anymore.. its quite refreshing...

Contrary to prior expectations i seem to be surviving heavily on mineral water and *big surprise.. have as yet to consume any carbonated soft drink. H20 and Caffiene fixes... thats my idea of decadence. Yeah yeah... im a loser.. soo what!

ok ... sighh.. back to hit the books.. would you believe my first work day was 12 hours straight.. on top of which i cant sleep past 6 am in lahore.. so i'll start walking from tomorrow early morn.. but at this rate... umm.. i guess stress induced weight loss could be a good thing, unless its accompanies by dark circles, hair loss, and silver strands... which i'm sure wont take too long to come along....
whatever! you know what... bring it on!... bring it all on... eik hi dafa Allah mian key paas ja key whine karoun gi :)
for the rest of you... keep praying i survive with a happy go lucky smile on my face..

take care fwiendsies
cheers

Princess of the GemWorld

*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

The end of the road....

I loved this BoyzIIMen song.. wanted to play it at my CBM Graduation and make all my friends cry... yes.. i DO love melodrama..

I seem to be going through a maelstorm of upheavels.. One minute its something, the next its another.. sometimes its the personal front.. another its the professional work-life balance scenario.. then you feel the whole concept of limited time & limited resources vs unlimited needs wants and desires...

we cant have everything we want in life.. we cant. we just cant. when you reach out and take something from the platter of God, you have to put something back. its the whole game of Rummy... thats why i always liked rummy.. its as close to life as one can get.. Poker somehow always seemed the sport of liars and theives. Why would you want to spend the rest of your life holding your cards close to your heart terminally scared that someone might sneak a look and do one over on you..
I know people who dont even like sharing their tailors.. like whats going to happen. He'll dress the rest of us like you and you'll lose your uniqueness? Ever thought about the fact that he has hundreds of other customers and one more wont make a damn bit of a difference. Then there are the women who dont like sharing recipes. Well if it aint your livelihood.. get over it!

My best friend has always shared her tailors with me:) In women thats a trait that should not be easily discounted. It's something of value no matter how silly it may seem. When you share a life with someone, a tailor is a very small thing.

Listening to this new song right now... Aadat . its by a new band named Jaal. Apparently the kids 18 right now.. i wonder what he'll be when he grows up.

In between the goodbye-im-going-away emails and the come-here-so-i-can-tell-you-where-everything-is shouts... i'm at a loss as to how to proceed and where to proceed... my mind is a little puddle of mush ... what with the what will i wear.. must go to the tailor... what do i take... what will i need... how will i live... how tough will the work be.. when will i breathe.. walk... talk.. tv.. guitar.. photo albums.. credit card payments.. shoes...
when did i become so tangled in the fabric of every day life.. its beyond me... this phenomenon was as unprecedented as my birth itself... you wonder why certain things happen... you wonder what your purpose in life is.. but for want of better answers, usually i end up losing myself in the quagmire of life and reality and just living it one day at a time..

Its easier that way... i cant seem to figure out how to be the best at every goddam thing i do... how do i give 200% at work, home & play.. i cant do justice to everything.. and i really want to do well and not have any ripples coursing through any part of the life i have to live... how do u do everything u want and not step on anyones toes in the process...

I guess it all comes down to faith ... i'm just going to throw up my hands to the heavens above and expect God to tide me over all my insecurities and misgivings..

I found this prayer in the Bahai temple in Chicago back in 1997... its the most perfect temple.. with the most perfect calm about it.. perfect peace when you walk through it...
Dear Lord.. Refresh & rejuvenate my Spirit... Purify my heart... Illumine my powers... I lay all my affairs in thy hand..
Thou art my guide and my refuge.. I shall no longer be sorrowful & grieved... I shall be a happy & joyful being... I shall no longer dwell on the unpleasant things in life nor shall i let troubles harass me..
O' Lord.. thou are more friend to me than i am to myself... I dedicate my self to thee O' Lord..


Amen...

Princess of the GemWorld
*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004

Friday, March 05, 2004

8:20am Friday March 5th... Loonsville strikes


{Inspiration can strike at the most inordinate moments... such as this.. and here i was bemoaning the fact that i couldnt rhyme anymore.. :) hehehe... Fars...}


Hen Ben

Aaaaaaand... there was once a farmer
who had a little hen
i know its kinda funny
but the chicken's name was ben
the chicken liked to roost
although it was a dame
and it liked to quarrel
which was a little lame
the farmer was a man
and so a wee bit slow
but since ben was a hen
he didnt quite know
how to make ben behave
in lady like demeanor
until his funny ass girlfriend
decided they should train her
so started the dilemmna
of where should ben reside
a proper finishing school
on which they could decide
our hen ben had other plans
which included forsaking the farmer
big plans small plan moot point
he just took off with all she cud garner
yes yes i see
we are confused
the whole hen ben
has us bemused

whats really put me in a pickle
is not the start or the middle
its how this wondrous story should end
its directionless and somehow offends

so go ahead and give your views
in four lines or less mind you
of the ultimate fate of hen ben
we can call it a day then....

--- An unfinished verse

*If inspiration strikes you... which is a rare possibility... leave it in the comments...

:) Princess of the GemWorld

*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004

Thursday, March 04, 2004

Clarity

{ I didnt feel like saying anything today... so heres something i've already said before... June 2nd 2002 .. tc }

Sometimes I’ve noticed that our own inability to grasp the obvious can in itself be a clarifying experience. Its quite hilarious.

You have the truth.. and then u have what u would make of it. Which will be, we can safely assume at the outset, as far removed from reality as humanely possible. Why? Its simple.
Reality doesn’t suit my purpose.
To hell with the rude awakening promised to all and sundry.. I have friends who can be ruder than reality to make up for it.
So who needs it anyway.

What dreams may come.. will be accepted for what they are. Fragments of illusionary joy, of false hope, of revisited pasts…
And at the end of the road, you will find the one thing that u had started out with.. Your heart.. whether battered, broken or bleeding.. it is the one thing that will never fail you..

Even in the midst of crushing reality it will show you visions of utopia.. and in the midst of your most overwhelming illusions, it will force ur eyes to acknowledge the reality.. and to be prepared to deal…
That doesn’t mean u’ll be able too, just that at least someone tried… what more can you ask for anyway ..

Maybe in the future.. one fine beautiful cloudy day.. my heart will tell me its had enough .. what I cant understand is why it hasn’t done so far… and tell me it needs a vacation..
That day, I will know that my dreaming days are over.. for without the courage resident in our hearts, we don’t have the strength to dream..
Dreams require… immense courage… unrestrained faith.. for dreams themselves have no boundaries.. and refuse to have any boundaries set on them… so once u begin, you belong to them… they will never belong to you.. and the heart is the only one who knows the truth of this reality…

I wonder how I will feel… once I’m left bereft and dreamless.. comfortably numb I guess …
Regardless of the pit falls, I still have some dreams left in me… their truth or falsehood is never an issue.. There are no preconditions in love, friendships or dreams… each forges its own course as it pleases with very little help from us..
Each can take u to the depths of hell and back.. to the zenith of heavenly joy and the pits of human despondence.. but you cant chart a course for them. You cant ask them to behave along your defined guidelines. You cant set rules and expect them to be obeyed.. Like a dynamic IP.. they change with each freaking connection…

But there are some things that I can do… things that may or may not be right.. but I shall do them regardless.. My philosophy of all or nothing is not a realistic one.. life simply doesn’t operate that way.. and as a consequence, neither do human relationships..

Pure unadulterated honesty dies a premature death today…
So does unrestrained joy and sorrow..
I lay to rest my demons of perfection..
I let go of my quest for eternal happiness..
I let faith sleep lightly in the corner.. time will be that I will need it.. but not now..’
My soul.. my spirit.. I let rise… beyond my grasp.. they were never mine to begin with..
My thoughts I tidily place in the in-tray .. which everyone knows I never touch…
My beliefs I shove under the bed…
My convictions of what the world is, I look at with sadness.. and with a heavy heart tell them they were never true to begin with… they shatter to a million pieces before my eyes..
My friends…. ahhh… my friends.. even if god had me hanging upside down over a pot of hot oil.. and asked me what to do with them.. I still wouldn’t be able to give a coherent answer… this is once issue where my faculties desert me.. for how can u question or disregard so many of Gods blessings… and I have been blessed a million times over… Infinity + 1 … here my heart stops ..
Here it says enough .. here it tells me to draw the line.. here it reminds me of the joys and sorrows that make life whole.. here it shows me the kaleidoscope of colors that paint the picture of life.. and the source of those colors..
Here it asks me to hold on.. not let go..
To feel .. not be numb..
To let the hurt wash over me… and the joy pervade my soul…
To help and let myself be helped.. always ..
To laugh with unrestrained passion .. and to cry with the same…
And it tells me to allow those I love to come along for the ride…
But do they want to.. not everyone likes roller coasters…

There are no compulsions in faith, friendship, love .. life.. We don’t ask to be given what God serves up on a plate.. and the right to complain is just a formality. No one is ever supposed to actually do that.
So I tell my heart.. to be strong.. and brave.. and to ask me for advance notice before starting a new project or going on a vacation…
….. and I tell it I’ll try… because that’s the most you can ask for anyway…

*far..i..ha.. jun02*

--
______________________________________________________________________
**********************************************************************
it's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning

Princess of the GemWorld

*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

Psuedo Reality.....

I had to reorganize my belongings. Feels like i'm back in the army life.. when you find out the posting orders have arrive and you run to your room of 2 or so odd years and take that one last look around, quickly taking inventory of what stays and what goes...

Came across the.. oh i dunno... 16 ODD DIARIES that i've maintained since 1990 when i first discovered of joy of writing about my self to myself... seems a bit twisted.. but then life usually is.. ;)

Going through Diary #2 or 3 i found some cards sent by this guy to this girl i used to know.. apparently they mustve been given to me for safekeeping so she wasnt caught in the act.. weird. dumped em in the trash.. This dairy was tan in color and from the Institute of Bankers in Pakistan.

It was also one of the most escessively boring diaries i have had the misfortune to scribble in. I mean this was my life.. and it was boooRING,...Starting in end October in 91, it covered mundane events and happenings that basically made me recall teenage angst and i seriously wanted to torch the whole thing. I think the only salvgeable parts are all the dialogues of M*A*S*H i have penned down as a summarization of the day... So in between the "went to Young Ones with my cousins.." "went to buy jeans with my cousins.." "went to Fosters finatra with my cousins..."... OK OK.. so it was 1991... waddaya want from me anyway...

M*A*S*H & Bangers - Snippets
********************************
Trapper: So how was it
Pierce: It was great
Trapper: How was the major
Pierce: She was really great
Trapper: You dope! from the top.
Pierce: Noooo.. it wasnt like that. Your mind is in the gutter!
Trapper: Cant help it. it's attached to the rest of my body.
__________________________________________
Pierce: Margaret, you start without me
Margaret: But i've never cut open a man before
Pierce: well go ahead. Why should i have all the fun.
_____________________________________________
Trapper & frank are arguing and Henry tells Frank to shut up
Frank: well he started it
Henry: Frank, if you dont stop so help me, i'll write it down in your record that you dont work and play well with others..
(Trapper is walking out behind Henry and quickly sticks his tongue out at Frank while walking out)
__________________________________________
Radar walking into the Swamp: Sir, can i sleep here. Its so quiet.
Pierce: Sure Radar
Frank: Thats it!?! You're not going to tuck him in and read him a bedtime story.
Trapper: Radar do you want me to tuck you in and tell you a bedtime story
Radar: oh no sir
Trapper: Thats it, frank.
______________________________
Radar: Can i stay sir?
Trapper: Sure you can sleep in Hawkeyes bunk
Frank: whaaaat?!? These are officers quarters!
Trapper: Try to snore importantly Radar
Radar: Yessir..
________________________________
Henry: No body went to see the movie tonight? It was a sherlock Holmes.
Trapper: The butler did it.
Frank: Awww... i was going to go see it tomorrow.
Trapper: I was joking frank....... (pause) the maid did it!
__________________________________
Klinger: Whats for breakfast?
Radar: Last nights Dinner.
Klinger: That was yesterdays lunch.
_______________________________________


Jurrasic Park
*************
Malcolm: God made the world. God created dinosaurs. God made man. Man destroyed God. Man created dinosaurs.
Sadler: Dinosaurs eat man. Women inherit the world.

1991 was the year of changes.. That was the year Abu got posted to Chitral and .. sighhhh.. the Chitralis afraid of innocent little me corrupting their boys declined the opportunity of allowing me to study in their school.

So me and ami had to pack our bags and move to Karachi and stay with Nani nana.. it was nice.. Johnny mamu Saba mami and their 3 adorable daughters.. all under 8 yrs of age.. were staying there too at the time and Saba mami is a great cook... (to date :) ... I had to start DHA Phase 4.. That Den of evil which had 3... GET THIS... THREE MONTHLY TESTS.. PER SUBJECT... PER MONTH... it was intolerable cruelty.. i HATED it.. Also the fact that i didnt really know anyone in a school in which the girls had literally been through most of their lives together was a bit of a turn off.. The big song of the time was Bryan Adams "Everything I do".. i still remember being in Chitral and tuning in to Radio Russia and listening to the Russian top 20 and the BBC top 20.. and this song remained on the top for like 20 weeks on the BBC top charts.. they were literally about to retire it.. But Chitral was lovely.. with polo matches and stuff.. more later on that..

I recall taking Cooking/baking as the extra curricular in 9th grade.. we got to eat everything made in the demonstrations ... lol.. There are wisps of memories of throwball matches.. of the ultimate teenage wannabe complex... of the "group" syndrome.. talking nonstop about ridiculous stuff... Silence of the lambs... being hooked on Miami Vice since NTM was a new thing at the time.. There were walkathons.. the most famous thing to ever hit karachi.. i think i literally went to each walkathon held between 1990 and 1994.. it was such a big deal back then :)... Dil hai keh manta nahin came out and was an immediate hit...

The trip to the Fosters Finatra in the newly opened FTC building at the time which was still being constructed was a memorable one.. it was a family event.. following the food me and my little cousin zak went out exploring the under construction struction.. when we came across some suspicious looking security guards on the 5th floor they were immediately tagged as being the CIA.. we were the FBI and our remaining rabble of cousins was identified as the KGB.. both groups being supremely avoidable.. it was a chase worthy of Americas Most Wanted with utility closets being used as secret bases... the fact that the 5th floor had no walls on all sides and immediately overlooked the graveyard lent the whole situation a highly sinister feel.. Kimmun the ever famous chinese restaurant next to karachi broast was a favorite family haunt.. i think its closed now.. 10th grade dawns all too soon.. with snippets about sumnmer school.. board exams.. and.. umm.. Flash .. yeah the TV show.. *rolling eyes at the lameness of it all

Remington Steele was another life changer.. i mean... maaaaannnn... have you SEEN Pierce Brosnan in that show.. i mean Stephanie Zimbalist went bye bye and he made it sooo big.. would anyone have thought.. it was all due to "Attacking Mystery" :)There were afternoons spent in DCL(Defence Central Library).. it had just opened.. we literally had picnics between the book laden shelves with tea and sandwiches.. all highly illegal... That was the time of the piyala cut hair style for little boys.. and then all of a sudden we shifted houses... abu got shifted back to Karachi and we moved into the Highrise Army Aparments behind Avari.. it was a great place.. started DHA College for Women... heheh.. that women bit always tickled me.. made new friends.. parted ways with old ones.. the world expanded a litte bit.. there are stories from that era that still leave me breathless with laughter.. lol.. Chitral had introduced me to satellite TV and the tradition was continued in Highrise...

I was more or less addicted to Santa barbera, Bold and the beautiful, Baywatch ;), and M*A*S*H.. On the 10th Jan 1994, we learned that abu would be retiring by the end of the year.. i never realized how much that news had impacted me at the time.. looking at the diary entry it comes back to me in a rush.. "I feel like a hundred years old. Abus advance notice came. Its not the phone i'm worried about. Its not the fact that i kinda like my stupid room. That i'll have to take off all my posters. That i'll have to find a video shop, a new hotel, no more bake n take. Its not the sweeper, the batman or the coaster. Its not the f***in view from the balcony. its not the fact that we dont have a place to go or a house in which to put all our stuff in. Its not the fact that there is a tennis court downstairs, a place to park, a place to walk, a bathroom, a laundry room... compared with the fact that the house in Askari3 doesnt even have a Tv lounge.."

In between readings of the Spanish Bride by Georgette Heyer and dancing with joy when Oksana Grishuk & Evgeny Platov won the 1994 Olympic Ice Dancing Gold.. life slowly settled into a routine.. "6th march 1994: i get pretty melodaramatic sometimes. I look at my black diary and i see Alan Alda holding it and saying.. Fariha this is your life... Now i know what an autobiography feels like... 3 and a half years of TV programs, pointless excursions, crying fits, tantrums... no achievements, no glory.. nothing i can rave about.. "

"14th june 94: I'm upset with the exams coming up and the fear that i'll flunkofy majorly. why do people say majorly when a colonel is bigger than a major.. shouldnt it be colonally.. But i guess that gets coverted to colossal.. but you cant say colossally i think which is very sad. Today in M*A*S*H Radar goes home. It was so sad. Pierce couldnt even say goodbye properly and just saluted him from the operation theatre and radar left his teddy bear for Pierce. Sherm was crying when he hugged Radar goodbye. Wounded come in and when he takes his last look around the camp its empty. They had a cake and everything for him and it was awful & the mess tent was empty.."

i lived in a world dominated by television.. a psuedo reality.. but it was nice.. sometimes.. no most times.. it still is... my relationship with reality has always been a rocky one.. i dont think its going to improve anytime in the near future..

I think i can safely burn this little leather bound book... anyone care for a bonfire?

Princess of the GemWorld

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I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004

Monday, March 01, 2004

Situations...

Theres no defining some of them... theres no logic, reasoning or even humor to be found in some of them.

I just saw 2 movies from the 70s i think that were based on plays.. excellent plays... really hilariously funny plays..
1. Barefoot in the park: Robert Redford(Paul), Jane Fonda(Corrie) ... its a neil simon play they made into the most lovely scrumptious light hearted movie ever made... if i ever get over being commitment phobic, thats the kind of marriage i want.. lol... unfortunately i THINK Robert Redfords taken... wait.. lemme check ... :) .. its just one amazing day of the apartment wayyy at the top of the building.. the newly married couple moves in and hilarity ensues.. its brilliantly executed with amazing comic timing.. i love it.. i hope you guyz will too.. i just... sighhhh.. adore it.

Its first class humor :) and amazingly refreshing... At one point in time Corrie turns to Paul and says "Paul, I think I'm gonna be a lousy wife. But don't be angry with me. I love you very much -- and I'm very sexy! ".. And this particular exchange is going to be symbolic in my mind for the perfect marriage.. :)
Corie Bratter: You're almost nearly perfect!
Paul Bratter: That's a rotten thing to say!


2. Butterflies are free - 1972: Goldie Hawn(Jill), Edward Albert (Don) ... Based on a play by Leonard Gershe about this free spirited 19 yr old girl who moves into the apartment next to this young blind man trying to get away from mom and make it on his own. The repartee in the whole movie is amazing... witticisms fly back and forth and you marvel at the skill of the screen writer.. All based in one day much like the first one.. (Most plays are).. it was a gem i suddenly came across while lounging around in front of the TV after finished the prawn curry mum insisted i help with.. ( me thinks me hands are still smellin of masala)... A MUST watch movie if you guyz read this message before 10am PST tomorrow morning... i loved it. If i had an operational VCR and a blank cassette, i'd record it.

Goldie Hawn is Jill Tanner.. this flighty 19 year old who got married at 16 to Jack for exactly 6 days... Apparently the poetic irony of it all was too much for her :) ... "It seemed like weeks" she says... But When Dons mom played by Eileen Eckhart asks her how long she was married and receives "6 days" as the answer, her retort is hilarious.. "And on the 7th day you rested?!"...
The comic timing is perfect.. the dialogues are really funny....
Jill is aware of her own instability and flightiness... in addition to which shes highly commitment phobic, something i can easily relate to... So when she seeks to leave at the end of the day because she doesnt want to hurt Don in the long run (another 6 days ?!?) he tells her "I could love you if you let me".

So if any of you wake up by 10am PST tomorrow morning.. switch on the Movie Channel 2 i think and watch Butterflies... Its a wonderful experience...

Ok me going to bed... gnite...

Princess of the GemWorld

*****************************************************
I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

Copyright © Fars - FS 2004