Happy New Year

Good morning folks.. and a happy new year to you all..

its been a nice beginning.. i had a paratha and chicken qeema & a hot cup of tea... the sunlight is dripping into the lounge.. warmth pervades my being.. sounds of domesticity resound around me.. Red Eye plays in the back ground... New years was a bit like xmas.. there were ipods in the house :)

maybe Gods planning to bless us further..

I'm no angel.. i wish i had a halo and wings.. but im pretty sure i cant fly and my halos pretty tarnished if i ever had one..

I know deep down inside that im a good person.. but knowing something vaguely vs. with conviction is different. acually im pretty convinced im a good person. its just i sometimes focus heavily on just saving myself from being hurt by klling emotions within me.. the numb factor. its effective. it works.

but generally im a good person. i mean im not evil. i dont try to hurt people. i try not to damage, defame, demotivate.. but that doesnt stop others from doing that.. that pisses me off. my favorite mode of existence in the world is "anonymous".

i guess we all want that at some time or another. some more than most.
i have that to a large extent in lahore.. atleast i think i do. i dont know anyone.. no one knows me.. the people i do know i see on a daily basis. they arent bad. generally nice people. i dont put too much though behind my day to day living. it happens on auto pilot. even the weekly flights back & forth happens on auto pilot. its funny that way..

skys all golden with the midday sun.. streaks of gold spilling into the tv lounge.. dull gold filling the air around me. stationary fan signalling the winter months... dull throbbing in my head.. think i need more tea.. and maybe more food.. i cant stop thinking about food.. its like i keep craving new taste although my tummy tells me its not hungry in the least.. lol :) kya karein.. control nahin hota..

i want the basics in life.. i want to take care of my parents and my family. i want to contribute to the running of the household both in terms of effort and materially.. i want to live a full life.. and have no stress or negativity.. and with that statement i have passed into the realms of illusion and the utopia everyone dreams of. :)

thats all i want. food. money for the credit card bills. general sense of well being and happiness.. umm.. also my internet connection and a computer.. and well my digital camera, mobile phone, maybe an mp3 player and an FM Radio.. damn i forgot the TV (must have channel E) and well a DVD player isnt a bad thing to have..

sighhhh... i think i can be happy with the basics of life listed above..

suddenly Red Eye has gotten really interesting.. i mean Rachel McAdams kicks ass man.. :)

i come back to reality now.. my inner cravings want a cup of tea and a sandwich..

Sometimes reality aint bad :) especially since theres food involved...

before signing off i want to thank Allah Mian for being one wise being.. he has never given me more than i can handle. he's always given me just enough.. just enough happiness.. just enough electronics (yeah yeah i'll get over it when i want to).. maybe just a tad bit more edibles than my fair share.. just enough success.. just enough friends.. just enough of everything.. never more than just enough.. and thats just enough.. :)

i need to learn to thank him a hell of a lot more than just enough though cause right now i dont think i even qualify on the just enough bit.. had a few conversations with some people in my life.. one of them was regarding compromises - how theyre easy to make once you're secure in yourself.. and one was regarding finding someone special and defending your right to choose.. both were enlightening.. both made me realize that there are so many facets of life that we never think about because we never have to face them.. but sometimes through the people we care about.. we end up catching a glimpse of life that was heretofore unknown to us.. and it helps shape us as human beings.. i guess we should take time to thank the people around us.. because essentially they end up being our teachers. directly or indirectly..

thank you.. to all of you.. and to God and the Universe..

Car pe diem... Sieze the Day... (From the Movie "Dead Poets Society", also the source of "Oh Captain, my Captain" - one of the best damn movies of the last century and possibly this one as well.. )

Princess of the GemWorld

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I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
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