Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Speed Demon ... :>

Oh boy oh boy oh boy... i still cant figure out who used to do that in the Loony toons.. it was an elmer fudd descendent i think :) ... oh boy oh boy oh boy...

You must be wondering at my unleashed glee at this most amazingly somber time in my life whereby i have traded having a life for having a job and become a corporate slave in the truest sense of the word... :) well baby... slaves have their days too... oh hell yeah.... i JUST got the car.. and no its not the Sprite version.. its the bonafide brand new.. latest beauty.. in the color i wanted... Cyprus Blue... oh man...
my heart swelled with joy as i walked out of my Avis Rental this morning and walked up the concrete path to the office doors.. and Saleem, our guy responsible for all things, waved me over with a grin on his face and handed me the keys... i stood there with this stupid smile plastered across my face...

GOD ... thank you... I HAVE A CAR... well not precisely mine.. but OHMYGOODNESSGRACIOUS ME... first car.. wow.. i've come a hell of a long way baby.. mashallah :)

'ight enough of the gleefulness.. i would request each of you reading this blog to kindly ignore my childish expression of joy and quickly say a heartfelt Mashallah and wonder at how God gives to those so massively undeserving...

Sighhh.... in other news we can come to my favorite topic of discussion... FOOD... thanks to my franchise director for north, i have discovered the most scrumptious little bakery cum tea place in the city of lahore.. its like round the corner from our office.. actually everything is round the corner from our office... and its called Coffee, Tea & Company.. i Love all names incorporating the word coffee & tea... considering that i prefer the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf Company over Starbucks.. and those who know me will tell you exactly how FANATIC i can be about Starbucks.. does go to show the power of semantics.. the word coffee just attracts me on a most basic level... i love it.. it says richness, aroma, deserts, muffins, cream, caramel, piping hot delightful relaxation... all in that one word.. wow... Nestle should soo hire me..

Their cakes are to DIE for .. and i mean it... at a recent Office Embarassment Session.. or what are popularly known as birthdays in the rest of the world.. :) we got a Strawberry Shortcake.. and i mean ohhhhh lord almighty... it was GLORIOUS... i cant wait for all my friends to come and visit me one by one so i can take em all there... one of my favorite chachis was down from Isloo over the weekend and we both adore good food.. so i took her there and it was soo much fun... They also have the lightest most delightful melt-in-your-mouth strawberry cheese cake tarts.. .. dammit.. i gotta stop. im getting wayyy hungry here...

sigh sigh... and now a wave of guilt washes over me as i think of my propensity to eat and suffer the consequences...

Lifes pretty ok.. Im pretty ok.. The summers are always a real time for me.. Theres no surrealism in the glaring light of day... its the winters when weird things happen in my life.. and its been a trend... most of the weirdness in my life... whether good wierd or bad weird... has always transpired in the winter solstice... so starting Mid September.. that would be right around my birthday... the weirdness begins and continues well into Mid-March... After that i have a reprieve from weirdness for a good 6 months, before the cycle begins again...
Atleast i have Fates cycle all mapped out... i make an extra effort to be happy and upbeat during the DownTime :) we do what we have to to ensure the continuing well being of our fragile minds..

Sometimes... the flow of life carries us along.. smoothly enough through the rapids.. you learn to ignore the rough patches and the scrapes and bruises you acquire along the way from the hidden rocks and river bed.. while the current is strong, it leaves you no choice. Life moves along rapidly with out too much thought, or rhyme or reason... and we're ok with that... with that numbing existence where you experience a rush of adrenaline every now and then at a new discovery.. at the interim mundane bits where you dont think but just let the waters carry you wherever they may lead.. and somehow it becomes a pattern whereby every so often you are jerked awake out of your reverie on the rapids of life and forced to open your eyes and take a long hard look around to gauge how far you've come, what the direction of the flow is, how fast are you going, how soon will you get somewhere... and then once again you lie back, bask in the warmth of the sun and smile and let them carry you again once again...

Thats my life... it scares those around me... my lack of direction.. of focus.. of an unerring avoidance of anything concrete..
Yet its my salvation... it saves me from humanitys number one disease.. procrastination... assumption... frustration... exasperation...
it saves me.. from being disappointed.. from being hurt... from sheer pain.. from desperation...
It allows me to look upon each day as a glorious opportunity to be happy... to be good.. to aspire to new heights.. to leave the past behind and move forward ... to be a bit blase about the whole phenomenon of existential angst.. to be chill about life.. and hence to savor every moment in the best possible way... because i dont give myself a choice otherwise.. because i dont consider any other alternatives except the happy ones.. because if you ignore the negative and the sad long enough, they WILL be forced to slink away eventually and leave you alone.. things tend to disappear when they're ignored... much like people..
It allows me to be me...
i guess i cant put it any other way..

And it scares the beejeezus out of those who would dare to love me.. because they dont think i give any guarantees.. they think i lack commitment and dedication and passion for living... they think my neverending quest to be happy and at peace with myself serves to accomplish little and alienates them from my sphere because they can never understand why i am the way i am.. and i cant be bothered to explain... I cant explain.. Some things just ARE... i just AM..
Thats the escapist in me talking...

:) but you'll never hear me say i was never happy.. because mashAllah.. by the grace of the Almighty... even when i'm not.. i kinda am...

Happiness is a state of mind... just like existence.. :) nurture it..

take care muggles...

Cheers
Princess of the GemWorld


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I dare to dream... so sue me.. :p
GemWorld

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